Hi, I am a 20 year old female, dating a 17 year old male. I can't quite put my finger on what the problem is... but I want sex more than my boyfriend!!! Why? I swear it's not normal for a 17 year old male to not care so much about sex! We have amazing sex when we do, he tells me that and I tell him that, and we have great communication to what each other enjoys.
I feel like most woman would kill me for saying this, and say they wish they had this, but honestly it's getting to the point where I have to go touch myself at home. We prob have sex once a week, if I'm lucky. I feel as if he is too romantic. Last night we got into a fight about it, and his reply was that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but I told him it's very important to me. He also told me that I'm way more experienced than he is because I've been with more people, where he has only been with 2 other people. I told him he's amazing in bed, and no one has topped him, which is true, and I always boost his self esteem by saying things like that, and I never lie. I asked him if he ever has moment when he just thinks about how bad he wants to have sex with me, and he said yes all the time, but I'm afraid you might not want it. I don't understand why he would think that.
He tells me he loves me about 10 times a day, and says he misses me at least once a day, and it's starting to feel like it's a few words just being thrown around. He always goes on about how lucky he is to have me, ect. But the only thing we literally ever do when we are together is cuddle and watch tv. Our fight was also about the tv. I told him to turn it off once in a while and talk to me, maybe it's just a maturity thing, but he blames it on his ADD. He says he doesn't think to turn it off, and it's just there to be in the background, and that I have to remind him to turn it off. But I feel like his eyes are glued to the tv. I will leave the room to go to the bathroom, walk back in, and he won't even glance my way.
I feel as if he has no interest in sex at all. It's also gotten to the point where I don't even bother to persuade it, I just let him have me when he wants, and it bothers me, and I've told him that, and I don't know what to else to do! After our fight and we talked things out, I decided to test him and I made a move. Let's just say he failed the test. Basically we were both topless, and I was on top of him, and nothing was happening, so i just went to the side of him to cuddle once again. Whenever I'm on top of him, he gets hard. So he starts acting childish about his hard on, he starts moving it without his hands and eventually it was out of his pants and he starts flapping it with his hands saying its fun to play with in front of me............. then I try to make another move, and give him a handjob, and he actually pushed my hand away!!!! ... so that he can "play" with himself. So i just turned around. He asked me what's wrong, and I lied and said nothing. I feel like it's hopeless. I could honestly get completely naked, and he wouldn't do a thing. I feel awkward seducing him. He's asked for a strip tease, but I'm scared to spontaneously do one, because if I get turned down, that would be so embarrassing. Also we are both submissive partners which doesn't help all of this.
Sometimes people's backgrounds are important to an answer, so I'll write a very brief one about both of us. Maybe the problem is about that?
ME: Last relationship was 2 years, was cheated on from the beginning, turned me into an anxious type lover. Brought the anxiety into my current relationship, but it's just starting to fade and get better since a month ago. We started dating at a really bad time, when I was going through a lot of anxiety issues and having panic attacks. He helped me through a lot with his honesty, and caring personality. We became good friends, and ended up dating.
HIM: Said he was picked on in elementary school, said all of his relationships he got hurt in, and has told me he's scared to get hurt again. One of his ex's cheated on him. Recently has had issues with getting in trouble with the law through selling pot, and possession, and got expelled from school. He doesn't smoke anymore, he doesn't talk to any of his friends anymore because of it, and I'm basically his only friend. And I know this really gets him down. He's grounded in his room and he's not allowed out. All he does is play xbox, tv, see me, and goes to return ticket school which is basically school for dummies. He is a gifted student. I'm scared he's depressed and hiding it way too well or doesn't know it himself.