Ok, im sure that some of you have read my earlier post that i wrote about a month ago and wanted an update thus far along.
Well, my boyfriend n i have been doing great. Until last night. we somehow got onto the subject of the things in our past that we regret. Well, i had told him allo about mine, and then he all of a sudden drops this bomb on me that he has done sexual favors for another guy. I was completely floored. I didnt know weather to cry, laugh, puke, nothing. I cudnt figure out y he was just now telling me this.
He had made mention about this happening within the past yr. now all of a sudden it was wen he was 10 yrs old. He had told me that his friend wanted to "compare" sizes. IF it happened at 10, what is there to compare? they shudnt know about that stuff so young i wud assume. And he said that his friend had given him a hand job, and he had done the same to his friend. He said he was disgusted with himself. n was ashamed. Well, the initial thought that immediately came to my mind, was that he was gay! like, closet gay, and i was jsut his cover.
I started putting the pieces together one by one, and thought, well i think that he is still in the closet, because he is very fruity. He is wayy over sensitive, he thinks hes fat, which he weighs prolly no more than 175 lbs. He is not fat at all. he is just muscular and tall. he thinks he is ugly, he cries ALL the time over stupid things. And its just wierd. and wen he started sayin that he loved me 2 wks into uur relationship, i think that he only said that, to convince himself that he is not gay or bi-sexual.
Dont get me wrong, i dont have a problem with bi- sexual or gay ppl at all. Its just that i dont wanna date one. And i dont want to be a cover. It just hurts i guess cuz idk wut to believe. He swears up n down that he is straight and that he does love me/ Im just confused with my feelings for him now. Everytime i think about him, or talk to him, wut he told me is in the back of my mind. idk if im just being stupid, or overreacting. I feel disgusted, and hurt, and like i cnt leave him now even if i wanted to.
Im just confused and unsure about how to deal with this problem.
If any of you have advice or comments please share! i wud like to know wut u wud do in this situation!
thank u!!!!