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Question for all moms...need advice quickly please!
My 4 year daughter (almost 5) is invited to a slumber party for another 5 year old girl from school. She has been in class with the birthday girl for almost 3 years. I have issues with a sleep over at 5 years old...I DO KNOW THE MOTHER FAIRLY WELL, but have only met the father once or twice in the past 3 years...I have already comitted, and am having severe second thoughts...the party is tonight at 7pm. My gut tells me that I am not ready for this independence...What if something happens, my daughter doesn't even know her own phone number? I am a stay at home mom, and my children have only attended part time preschool...never any other child care besides family only...
MY QUESTION IS: AM I OVER REACTING? WOULD YOU SEND YOUR CHILD TO THIS? MY GUT TELLS ME NO. PLEASE HELP ME, I AM ON A TIME SCHEDULE HERE, AND DESPERATELY WOULD LIKE EVERYONES INPUT.
MY QUESTION IS: AM I OVER REACTING? WOULD YOU SEND YOUR CHILD TO THIS? MY GUT TELLS ME NO. PLEASE HELP ME, I AM ON A TIME SCHEDULE HERE, AND DESPERATELY WOULD LIKE EVERYONES INPUT.
it depends on how much she wants to go, she may be fine, or not, my kids started them at 5 and I felt like you.I know lots of kids who want to go home, the midnight pick up. They were fine, I still think it is a weird phenomenon. I can tell you my kids are well adjusted and have lots of friends. My concerns came later, my oldest is 22, they still travel in groups sleeping from house to house. Two things I noticed they have less sense of responsibility just flop at whichever friends house. It is rampant and hard to be the only kid who can't. The thing is when they get to the age where they drink and want to sneak out to parties it is easier, and you have to be vigilant. If I could squash sleepovers in hindsight I would save it for a small window 7ish to 13ish
My daughter is 5. She did not even sleep at relation's house overnight until age 4.No way is there going to be overnight stays for awhile- at least a few yrs. Because one truly doesn't know what goes on at someone else's house- despite outward appearances.
(I was abused when I was younger by 2 stepbrothers, so I know I am probably more apprehensive than most might be.)
(I was abused when I was younger by 2 stepbrothers, so I know I am probably more apprehensive than most might be.)
i had thought it was too late to post this since on this topic since the time is past, but after reading the posts from yesterday and today i decided to jump in!
i have a 16-year-old girl. she's been doing sleepovers since about age 5. they can be great experiences; often they are not! you're right....too often someone goes home in tears. even at her age it takes two nights at home to recover, and she frequently gets sick afterwards from being too run down. i wouldn't say never, simply because it's such a good bonding experience for the girls and simply a rite of passage. but they don't need to do them that often - they are really over done! like most things in life, they are ok in moderation.
i have a 16-year-old girl. she's been doing sleepovers since about age 5. they can be great experiences; often they are not! you're right....too often someone goes home in tears. even at her age it takes two nights at home to recover, and she frequently gets sick afterwards from being too run down. i wouldn't say never, simply because it's such a good bonding experience for the girls and simply a rite of passage. but they don't need to do them that often - they are really over done! like most things in life, they are ok in moderation.
I agree with you guys. I am a mom of 3 kids, the youngest is now 19. Looking back, I realize that sleepovers are just ridiculous. I now admire the mothers who just bravely said "We don't do sleepovers in this family." They were smart! When in the heck did this get to be such a big deal, and so accepted? The concept is silly if you really think about it. They eat tons of junk and watch movies that they wouldn't get to at home. The girls usually end up making one girl feel terrible (little monsters!). PLUS the worst part is, the next day, when you get them back, they are always a quivering mass of fatigue and totally grouchy from no sleep. Too much of one friend can make for fights with kids. Sleepovers ruin the weekend ... AND the kids will have a terrible cold and ear infection by Tuesday from being run down! (there is always one kid who gets sent, even though he's sick)
I used to bribe my kids with WAY better offers... the zoo, swimming, ceramics, you name it, anything to get them out of "having" to go. They think they want to go.. to be "big" kids, like the other kids.. but really they have a much better sleep at home. I think it is bit of a cop-out on the part of burned out parents.
Go with your gut! Don't be afraid to say "NO!"
I used to bribe my kids with WAY better offers... the zoo, swimming, ceramics, you name it, anything to get them out of "having" to go. They think they want to go.. to be "big" kids, like the other kids.. but really they have a much better sleep at home. I think it is bit of a cop-out on the part of burned out parents.
Go with your gut! Don't be afraid to say "NO!"
No, I didn't let my girls go at that age. You never know what could happen. There are so many mean people in this world. My girls are 10 and 11. I started letting them go at 10. Even then I know the parents very well.It's hard being a mom, huh?
Hi, I see you have made your decision and I have to tell you that I agree with you whole heartedly. Just wanted to add my two cents.
Our only child is now 21 but I recall when she started getting sleepover invites and it started around age 5. She didn't really want to go overnight...she was afraid that she would wet the bed, plus the one or two times she did try to sleep over at a very good friends house, we had to pick her up around 10 p.m. because she wanted to come home.
But, I was amazed at the calls she would get from kids whom she did not know very well. My friends and I all agreed that it was starting way too young. I think I did my own first sleep over at age 8 and I am 53! So, we just made a flat rule....and that made things easy...SO, if she got an invitation to an overnight she would simply tell the kid that she would not be going on sleep overs until she turned 7 years old. She was actually relieved and it made it easy to say "no." I got over feeling any need for a further explanation very quickly. We often did just what you are doing..."My daughter would love to come over, but she does not go on sleep-overs, so I will pick her up at ...."
I do understand how this seems like it might be a little problem..but, I totally get how you feel. I recall thinking, "Geez, just don't ask the kid on a sleepover"...I mean, they are just sleeping, right? I also felt that the times I did not listen to my gut reaction made for an uneasy time.
Take care, Mary
Our only child is now 21 but I recall when she started getting sleepover invites and it started around age 5. She didn't really want to go overnight...she was afraid that she would wet the bed, plus the one or two times she did try to sleep over at a very good friends house, we had to pick her up around 10 p.m. because she wanted to come home.
But, I was amazed at the calls she would get from kids whom she did not know very well. My friends and I all agreed that it was starting way too young. I think I did my own first sleep over at age 8 and I am 53! So, we just made a flat rule....and that made things easy...SO, if she got an invitation to an overnight she would simply tell the kid that she would not be going on sleep overs until she turned 7 years old. She was actually relieved and it made it easy to say "no." I got over feeling any need for a further explanation very quickly. We often did just what you are doing..."My daughter would love to come over, but she does not go on sleep-overs, so I will pick her up at ...."
I do understand how this seems like it might be a little problem..but, I totally get how you feel. I recall thinking, "Geez, just don't ask the kid on a sleepover"...I mean, they are just sleeping, right? I also felt that the times I did not listen to my gut reaction made for an uneasy time.
Take care, Mary
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