Aa
Question for the guys
Many men come to the relationships forum and explain how wonderful their wives or girlfriends are and that they are the most important person in their lives yet they then confess to having cheated or are having an affair--so whats the deal then?If you love your wife or girlfriend so much then what makes you stray--lets be honest now and find out the truth.Why cheat? Please explain.
I did the exact same thing Brice and I feel exactly the same way you do.I took my beautiful wife for granted and ended up losing everything.
I'll take a poke at this but am sure somehow it will blow up in my face.....
This may sound complicated, and indeed it is. But the simple fact of the matter is I did cheat and I've never been more sorry for anything in my life. I don't know if there is anything in the world that I could ever by more sorry for.
I was in a bad space on more than one level. I allowed my marriage to take a back seat to my life. I put my marriage on cruise control, all the while my wife was fighting for her marriage. She was fighting for the love that she knew we once had. For years, she would check in with me..."Are things all right?" They weren't, but I'd lie.
I wanted us to be all right, but I was too much of a stubborn fool to get help when I need help. All the while, parts of the marriage eroded. I lost the passion, I guess... simply lost the passion. I loved my wife, loved my family and I didn't want to part with any of it... but on another level, because I would not allow myself to see and feel the love being offered, I hunted for more.
The wife and I are doing real well these days. This woman proves time and time again how strong she is, and that is one of her many traits that attracted me in the first place. After what I've done, I spent a lot of time in therapy putting away the things that haunted me for decades. I've completely changed how I look at my life and I am so very thankful for every day I can spend with my lovely wife. She is my world and I have that focus back... I will never lose it again. Everything I've ever needed was under my own roof, but I was just dumb enough to not be able to find it.
This may sound complicated, and indeed it is. But the simple fact of the matter is I did cheat and I've never been more sorry for anything in my life. I don't know if there is anything in the world that I could ever by more sorry for.
I was in a bad space on more than one level. I allowed my marriage to take a back seat to my life. I put my marriage on cruise control, all the while my wife was fighting for her marriage. She was fighting for the love that she knew we once had. For years, she would check in with me..."Are things all right?" They weren't, but I'd lie.
I wanted us to be all right, but I was too much of a stubborn fool to get help when I need help. All the while, parts of the marriage eroded. I lost the passion, I guess... simply lost the passion. I loved my wife, loved my family and I didn't want to part with any of it... but on another level, because I would not allow myself to see and feel the love being offered, I hunted for more.
The wife and I are doing real well these days. This woman proves time and time again how strong she is, and that is one of her many traits that attracted me in the first place. After what I've done, I spent a lot of time in therapy putting away the things that haunted me for decades. I've completely changed how I look at my life and I am so very thankful for every day I can spend with my lovely wife. She is my world and I have that focus back... I will never lose it again. Everything I've ever needed was under my own roof, but I was just dumb enough to not be able to find it.
Agree with Tink.
Not sure where RR is getting her facts from or if this is her theory (sounds like her theory), however, it was entertaining to read.....LOL. Don't recall seeing this or learning this in my Sociology class and trust me I have taken ALOT of them over the years.
If you live in a CIVILIZED society then you should act accordingly.
If you walk around letting your "body parts", i.e. your "johnson," make decisions about how you should act then maybe you should be living in an UNCIVILIZED society or living in the jungle with monkeys and apes. Then you can act on EVERY instinct you had without the consequences.
Not sure where RR is getting her facts from or if this is her theory (sounds like her theory), however, it was entertaining to read.....LOL. Don't recall seeing this or learning this in my Sociology class and trust me I have taken ALOT of them over the years.
If you live in a CIVILIZED society then you should act accordingly.
If you walk around letting your "body parts", i.e. your "johnson," make decisions about how you should act then maybe you should be living in an UNCIVILIZED society or living in the jungle with monkeys and apes. Then you can act on EVERY instinct you had without the consequences.
We have Superior, Sophisticated Brains. We act on Instinct but we ALSO have the Ability to Think, to Decide, to make Choices, etc. If one wants multiple Partners then One should not make Promises and take Vows with any ONE Person. Monogamy is a Choice. Once having made that Choice, f either Spouse falls out of love then that Person should be Honorable and leave the Marriage FIRST. It takes Thought and Intent to cheat - Our Superior Brain gives us the Ability to Choose to make or break a Promise or Vow.
Oh and I should add that there are plenty of people--mostly men--who post on the HIV forum after they have cheated aswell.
Ditto to you to RR,intelligence is bliss--what a great response.I love honest and sincere responses.
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The bottom line is if there is something missing in the marriage or of needs aren't getting met at some point someone may cheat. Everyone has a different threshold. Some may leave rather than cheat or some may live in their own isolated mental prisons.
In the end I think it comes down to what u can live with, love and forgiveness.
Just my thoughts. Hobby