I wanted outside my life to give me some advice, because your friends are the worst people in the world to get advice from. If you were to meet the best person in the world but they were on rough times, half your friends would kick that person to the curb. Moving on.
Me and my girlfriend are 21 and we have been together for 7 years, since we started high school together. We both have dated other people before and didn't lose our virginitys to each other or anything. We have been best friends since we were 5 and grew up together. Our families are close and we have been through everything together. The first 5 years were amazing, and then she slept with someone else, had an affair for a while. It drove me insane but for some reason i stayed. i slept with someone at the time to make it "even" in my mind. I haven't told her that though. 2 months after she cheated on me i had a snowboarding accident and broke most of the bones in my body, and became paralyzed. After many months of being in the hospital i regained my ability to walk. She stayed with me the whole time and helped me regain my health. We stayed together since then (about a year ago) and our relationship has been okay but we have changed as people a lot. She is a whole new person from who she was. We have sex once a months or so, she lost all of her sexual desire, when we used to get intimate several times a day sometimes. I know it goes away and comes back, and she like it when we do it but its like she just doesnt want to anymore. I dont go out and troll for other girls because for the most part im okay with being a one woman guy, its just that guys do need sex to function. at least i do. its not a hobby as much as a stress reliever. the longer you go without it, the more stress you build up from not relaxing. Then the embarrassment of being rejected while your in bed multiple times makes you not want to try. who likes being turned down to their face? no one.
I dont know what to do because i really do love this girl with all my heart and i just want her to be happy. But i want to be happy too. We have talked a few times but she would rather pretend there isnt a problem. I want to leave and stay. this isnt just about the sex, as some might be confused and say it is. thats only part of it. Since my accident we havent had any problems with cheating or anything like that, just we fight a little more and kinda drift away from each other interest wise. But some married people go years and years happy together with opposite interests dont they?
Another part of the problem is that we have 3 months left on our lease. she was the first girl i have ever moved in with and sometimes you dont know how well you are with someone until you move in with them. She's an okay roommate. Not very good with dishes and our bed room but i have seen worse roommates. We both dont have a lot of money, we both make just above enough to live on our own, so finances are hard. plus she wants to move when our lease ends and i dont. so she is looking at apartments and wants to go look at them with me but i keep putting it off because if i end it i can stay where i am at. but another apartment might be nicer and cheaper.
The thing that keeps me hesitant is that we moved here to columbus together and she doesnt know a whole lot of people so i dont want to leave her and have her ****** over on everything. We got her a car and im not sure what about her living situation but knowing her she might move back to Washington to live with her mom, even though running back home to mom isnt the best thing for her. she doesnt like it there, which is why we moved. i feel like a complete jerk for even thinking about it but i try to stay as level headed as possible.
I agree with tink.. If you both want to, it seems likely you can fix this. Ever heard of the seven year slump? I fully believe it's real. Some people find the relationship goes stale, others find it goes volatile, some just start questioning. But I know enough couples who do this right around seven years to believe there's something to it. My relationship with my husband nearly tore apart at the seams at seven years. Now after two years of working hard, we're better than ever. When both people are in love, and you have a mutual desire to make each other happy and be happy together, usually you can work things out. Only you two can decide if that's what you want and need. If so, find some couple's counseling!
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