Trust

[PassionFlower09]

How do you trust someone who lies to you? My husband, has been lying to me about  a relationship, supposedly platonic, he has been having with a female since Aug. Now he claims that he doesn't speak to her and that he is not lying anymore. Now he expects me to just not be upset and move on. But it is really hard. Some days for me  are good, others are bad. It seems like every other day I start to think about the lies he told , I get upset, and confront him.  So every other day, we argue because I mention the lies he has told, or I ask him if he has spoken to her or seen her. But It is just really hard to trust again Especially when he on so many occasions looked me in the eye and lied to me without blinking. Imagine you know that someone has been lying to you and when you confront them they call you crazy.Then you find out later that they really were lying. I just feel as if I have no more forgiveness to give- the well is dry. I gave him so many opportunities to tell me the truth.

It is just so stressful and heart breaking. I don't know if things will ever be the same.

[PassionFlower09]

My husband is a liar. If I go to counseling, it won't be w/ him. He showed me who he really is.

[mami1323]

I agree with Judy, it's time to start counseling.  I found it very difficult to get through the beginning where I had those feelings.  I still even now a year and a half later struggle with believing what he has to say.  I sometimes wonder if he's still lying to me because he had gone so far to lie in my face many many times, why would this time be any different?  Our counselor helped us a lot but it will take time to get to a good place again.  It will take a while before you feel comfortable with him again.  It can happen though if both of you are willing to work hard at it.  Your husband has to be completely honest going forward though.  I doubt it was as innocent as he says it is.  I guess the only way to find out is to call the numbers and ask these women directly.  Then you can get to the bottom of it.  If you don't want to than just leave it alone and move forward.  Good luck.

[Judy246]

Why don't you both meet with a marriage counselor or a priest to get down to the problems within  your marriage. If that does not work out, you need to do what is best for you and re-evaluate the relationship. He has broken trust and it's very hard to regain. Maybe a counselor might help. I want to wish you a happy, healthy, peaceful New Year. Hang in there!

[PassionFlower09]

I look at him, and I think "you are lying to me and I really don't know how far anything went". I don't know anything. It is torture. What a way to start the new year.

[PassionFlower09]

My husband has apologized and asked me to forgive him for lying. She says he only helped this girl,and nothing else happened.

I don't know if I can. I for gave him so many times. And for my trust he just lied to me. Now I am the point where I don't know if I can forgive him. I just don't know. It is very painful because I feel like I have lost my best friend. Every time I get close to forgiving him and feeling normal, I become afraid that he will betray me and lie again.

[PassionFlower09]

Happy Holidays,

I am trying to stay Cheerful...

PF