biopolar

[huffybruffy]

not my health but my girlfriend,positive she is biopolar,has all symtoms,loads of history ,but wont let me in,dont know wer to start but iv been through the mill and she still in denial even though she sees a counciler every time the need applies.been put in prison throu her lies,lost my job,near lost my house my car the lot,police accepted what she accused i was never asked,i got released on bail first time,cond not to go near flat which i own,i did got arrested court again nxt day,remanded in custody 5 weeks with intermediate diet in 3 weeks,employer gave me a letter stating that if not released on first appearence my employment would be terminated, mrs sheriff munro sentenced me to 5 month imprisonment,after release it happened again only they put 2 charges together {common assult} both charges were thrown out by sheriff davison .theres more but im still tryin to help im worn out yet the more i try the more she knocks,      regards brian

[CecilJune22]

Being in a relationship consists of...primarily u need to be Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually and most important above all is both your mental capabilities so you can handle and deal with when prob arises! Relationship is a shared emotion & feelings bet two ppl. When it has gone diffrently, prob starts...there is always a choice...and the choice could be yours to get out..she needs professional help.
Do not loose yourself loving a person so much..leave a certain percentage for yourself so you can move on farther..have peace in your heart as well.. Blessings!

[hotmama78]

Well I not sure what the reason he post this but I being robber victim before and doctor advise me to have group chat to gain back my self confident and listen others opinion. So I think that what he does.. asking for advised and opinions bcos I used to hear 2 head better then 1 what more talking about us here give different advised and own point of view.. for me that's my point of view.. and I not say I not agree or agree with any of us advised or opinions here I just utter out mine becos at the end we not know him and we not really know what exactly happen.. we read we comment we give advised.. opinions... our view thru what we read. He pick or not.. he listen or not.. he do or not.. he make a move or stick or whatsoever not us to make the call right... I don't know it my opinion its offense others but I just see it the way everyone else just maybe my point of view its different.. peace....

[Londres70]

Absolutely agree with Specialmom.  

"I am wore out"..... sounds like someone who needs to start taking care of himself.  

If someone's dysfunction is turning your life into dysfunction..... I would think that is NOT the relationship for you.  

Personally, I have my limits.  I will NOT be going to jail or losing my job because of what my husband has done.  Wrecking someone's life or allowing someone to wreck yours is NOT love to me.  It's two people with some serious issues that need addressing.  I don't think he should have to literally sacrifice a happy life for himself to make his gf a "lucky" girl.  

I am not sure what is wrong with this gf; it is DEFINITELY apparent she should be focused on her mental health and not a relationship.  

[specialmom]

Well, I think we have to take care of ourselves. Part of doing that is choosing partners that match what we want in life.  Choosing healthy people that are positive in our life.  That is now heartless but loving ourselves enough to have high standards and choosing accordingly.  If the poster didn't have any question about it or any problem about it, he would not ask for advice.  

It is perfectly fine to stay with someone we love when they have signicant problems but then we must recognize that we've signed up for that life.  We can't complain about it.  We must deal with all that happens when we are linked with a person that isn't healthy.  

I view dating as an opportunity to pick and choose who you are with.  Even if you have been dating for a long period.  It is okay at some point to decide that someone does not offer the kind of life you see yourself as having.  

I am a drama free kind of person.  I couldn't be with a person that had untreated mental health issues.  Yes, I'd try to help them if I loved them but after a period of time realizing that something was not getting better, I'd feel that leaving them is the best option for me to have a happy life.

And that is not heartless.  That is taking care of myself.  We should all take care of ourself as we see fit.

I do with the poster well.  Sadly, nowhere in his post did he make a comment that sounded like it was headed in that direction with this woman.  Maybe a miracle out of the blue will happen.  Tis the season, I guess.  But I do wish him peace and luck.

[hotmama78]

I see it differently... I might be crazy as Brian is to have agree its hard to let go.. but we do really need to just walk away when something happen to the person we so love??? Don't that sound heartless?? I know its crazy to be around with gf like his gf.. I just consider her very lucky among the luckiest woman in this world to have someone like Brian. I proud of you bro!!! Don't give up.. I believe each problem got solution maybe not tomorrow or next day or next month but never lost hope. If you truly love this woman an wanted to help her I am very sure God will not leave you alone. Silly... people might say so but who cares?? You need to have faith and if even the entire world tell you, you deserve better and shouldn't involve in such of drama I believe at the end you know better why you there... finger cross things will get better soon for you bro... all the best!!!

[Londres70]

Hmmm.....in my opinion, this woman/your gf should NOT be in a relationship with anyone at this time.  She is not able to give anything positive to ANYONE.  I am sure part of the problem is she was abandoned as a young child and who knows how she was treated in foster care.  

Sounds like you are very co-dependent and allowing your life to suffer in order to help her.  This is NO way for anyone to live.  You cannot change her; it won't matter HOW much you do or HOW much you are there for her. She is the ONLY person that can change herself after long and intense therapy of course.  

I don't think you should have to be dealing with this drama.  

[huffybruffy]

thank you for your answer much appreciated,ur rite in what you say she has no  contact  with family brought up in care from age of ten,her mum moved to america with an airman left her and a sister,hard to let go ,thanks again brian  

[specialmom]

Hi.  Being dead honest here, love does not conquer all.  At some point, a person can be deemed too unhealthy to have a relationship with.  If it is true that HER actions resulted in all of the above consequences you suffered (although I will say that we make our own choices----  we can participate in the drama or stay out of it and you must own your part of making bad choices)----  then why would you want to continue a relationship with her?  

I don't know if she has bipolar or not and no one but a professional and really, a psychiatrist should diagnose her as that or anything else.  But, you believe her to have untreated mental health issues.  She is in "denial" as you say.  Well, you can not have a relationship with someone that will not address their mental health issues.  

You describe a codependent relationship.  You allow her to carry on as she has and there is a reason for that.  It isn't just love.  Something makes you stay with an unhealthy person in an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship.  For that, I would advice that you too see a counselor to find out why you would subject yourself to this.  Again, it isn't love.  I say that because when one is thinking clearly, they know that they are in a bad relationship and leave it.  You didn't leave.  You need to look at what keeps you there and find out how to break any patterns you have.  Maybe you are the guy that rescues people?  I don't know.  But you need to find out.

You have to be strong and take care of yourself first.  Bipolar is hard to deal with and maybe she will treat it or maybe she won't.  But you need a more stable and happier life than this.  good luck and peace