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404138 tn?1308941656

What are your thoughts or feelings

One of my good friends called me today upset because she found out her boyfriend was downloading Por* on his computer. I could kind of see how she could be upset ....but at the same time isnt it something alot of men probably do, I didnt know what else to tell her.
Im wondering if there are other women who are also offended by this or is it just no big deal?
What are your thoughts?
13 Responses
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Avatar universal
any girl saying most guys dont watch porn is just talking out of her ***.  YOURE NOT A GUY, therefor you dont know.  we dont tell you everything, some guys are embarassed to tell a chic they watch porn cause chics sometimes think theyre scumbags.  guys talk about porn all the time.  i dont know 1 guy who hasnt watched porn.  its what guys do, period.
Helpful - 0
484465 tn?1532214032
porn is naked people 'doing it'.  it's so natural.  that's all it is to me, so i see no big deal if any man i would be dating or married to wants to watch people 'do it'.  i don't find it entertaining or compelling but what other people enjoy is what they enjoy.  as long as it's not twisted or demented (about children, animals, and homosexuality which is not a man i would be interested in anyway) they can watch away!
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460185 tn?1326077772
I agree with Cootos.  What would really bother me would be to find him watching kiddie porn - but that's a subject in itself.  Don't mean to detract from the initial post.


Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So what do you think about those disgusting Europeans (Western & Eastern), Slavs, Ancient Romans, Greeks (ancient & modern)??

Or the fact that the higher someones education the more liberl their views tend to be regarding sex?
Helpful - 0
575741 tn?1235669754
My personal view on it is that porn is only meant for Single men who cant get any or Teenage boys experimenting....the only way I would think it was right in a relationship is if the couple were to watch it together for ideas.....if you do it on your own without your partner being aware....you are hiding it....which will or does cause an issue!! I had a relationship where after I had a baby and porn was his new woman....it was one extra thing that destroyed our relationship because he used porn more than me! PORN IS DISCUSTING! Those women are trash! Men think society makes it okay and its normal for men.......SO NOT TRUE!!!! Seriously why would any man have the need to go behind your back and look at other womens bodies rather than your own to get turned on?? That's so selfish and rude!!! They should be happy and turned on just looking at your body! Not someone else's!! Porn can destroy relationships and most importantly a women's self esteem and self confidence if it's hidden in a relationship!!! Believe me I've been there!!!!
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404138 tn?1308941656
lol......yea she said his computer! Just to clarify.......

Anyways, in a sense I think its filth as jo said but in another sense.....im sure there are other guys who do it just for the enjoyment (and others who are perverted im sure), I think she's a little insecure about her self, he probably did it before her...so that means its probably nothing personal...BUT STILL....I dont think its really right to be looking at other naked bodies and fantasizing about them.....when your in a committed relationship...I got the impression like she feels as if he's kind of cheating on her..because those are real people he's looking at...and he never does it around her. I hate how some women feel like they have to compare themselves to those girls...its sad.
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Avatar universal
MERCY LOL


I acknowledge my error. ROTFL
Helpful - 0
177641 tn?1189755837
Seconding sammy73.

I'm a female and whether my boyfriend looks or (safely) downloads porn isn't an issue for me. But if he PREFERED porn to me, it would be a problem.

His reasons are exactly what sammy73 described. I'm not available 100% of the time (good grief, no one with a functional productive life should be). And it satisfies his desire for variety without harming our relationship.

Often women who react badly to this believe it means their boyfriend no longer finds them attractive. In many cases, they couldn't be more wrong.

If I were your friend, I'd talk to my boyfriend to find out WHY he's downloading it. If he can't reassure her that he's definitely happy being with her and finds her attractive, then they might have a problem. But if he is happy with her, it's up to her whether she can compromise or it's a deal-breaker.

SeriousSam: the OP said he was downloading on his computer, so it doesn't sound like that's an immediate respect issue in this case.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The original poster stated that her friend "found out her boyfriend was downloading Por* on his computer" - his, not hers.  It sounds like he was using his own computer.  If it was hers, I'd agree that it was not a reasonable thing to do.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I find this whole thing amusing as you would be surprised how many men would, when I was in the Army would head almost immediately to a strip club who were in promise keepers and  other religious groups when they would go on trips.

It does depend on the age of the "chicken" as jo929 might say, cultural background, and how comfortable that they feel talking to their partner about such matters.

Either way the extent of involvement is the main concern, and it may be just curiousity.

Either way I feel it is disrespectful to use someone elses computer for that without their knowledge.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
NO it is not a thing most men do, i have talked with many and they have said it was filth. i have also asked ny husband when we were first married if he liked to watch it, and he said no it did not turn him on you would be surprised at the men that do not like porn they say there are more important things to do than watch this but if everyone thought the same way it would be a dull place now would it not, i myself do not care for it   jo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
In this case their are other reasons to be upset.

A) It's not his computer.

B) NO one wants to catch any virus from their partner not even a computer virus a lot of those site are horrible for what they can do to your computer.  You can run a virus and spyware check and still not be clean.

C) While I have liberal views towards porn, and think couple should actually watch it a couple of times together so they can see that everyoone looks silly doing it so they can be more comfortable doing it.  I really think his doing it with her computer was in bad taste.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi,

I've always looked at porn.  My wife never had a problem with that, and sometimes enjoys looking at it with me.  I realise not all women feel this way!!

In any case, this is something that almost all men are into; those men that don't look at porn probably only don't do it because their wife/partner would disapprove, not because they really don't want to.  It is no reflection on how they feel about their partner, whether they find her attractive, it's no indication of a disturbed or perverted mind.  It's no indication of wanting sex with anyone else.

Men are genetically programmed to want to have sex with multiple women - it's the way nature designed us.  Looking at porn is a way of meeting that urge in a way that doesn't hurt anyone (depending on your view of the porn industry, areas of which I accept may not be the most pleasant of businesses), and doesn't involve cheating on your partner.  Plenty of men, however fantastic and frequent and fulfilling their sex life, still enjoy masturbating occasionally as well.  Also (and rather depending on what you watch) porn can help stimulate the sex life within the relationship, even if only one partner watches - it can suggest different positions to try, different things to do, fantasies or kinks that you can play out together.
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