What do I do?

[Rywol]

I'm just going to keep this short. So I've gone on a couple dates with this girl and she's expressed interest in me, even told me she liked me. But there was this other guy that she used to have a thing with that kept pursuing her but she said that she would choose me instead because I'm a better fit for her in general. So now that I've brought up the thought of a relationship she's told me she isn't ready for one because it's been "rough in that department lately" (what she said). So what do I do from this point and what does all this mean? Please help me.

[Londres70]

*bump*

[specialmom]

No, you don't talk to her every day.  You move on with your life.  You have told her how you feel.  She KNOWS.  She's told you how she feels. You KNOW.  It's not a relationship in the making.  So, if you keep trying to blur the lines, it's not healthy for you to continue to talk to her.

Take a break and occupy yourself elsewhere.  good luck

[specialmom]

Hm.  In what way?  You do seem to kind of obsess about this girl and other things, churning in your mind to the point of your probably having a hard time thinking straight.  Do you see a therapist on a regular basis?  That is so helpful when we do because it might help make sense of when you are reading too much into things, hyper focusing, obsessively thinking about something and that gets in the way of good decision making.

My advice either way still stands to let her be.  Back off.  She's telling you pretty clearly that she is not ready for a relationship which is the same thing as saying she doesn't want to date you.  You have to listen to her and understand that part of what happens is that people A. have a hard time hurting someone so soften it in ways that then could seem like a mixed message and B. enjoy attention from someone that has a crush on them but have no true, sincere interest in dating them.  They may ponder it here and there but it is not what they really want.

You should be with someone that is clear and free of other relationships, that has no hang ups because those make everything harder and more complex, that is AVAILABLE and likes you as much if not more than you like them.  

That's not this girl.  

good luck

[Rywol]

But please I need some input. I'm very upset right now and I don't know what to do. Like do I still talk to her every day or what? Please help me

[Rywol]

Yeah but I was wrong about all of those things I said

[specialmom]

Oh, I recall now.  Hey, in all honesty, I'd consider just backing off and working on yourself.  Do you see a physician for any of the obsessive compulsive things?  

[Rywol]

It is the same girl

[RockRose]

Is this the same girl you were posting about a couple weeks ago or is it a new girl?

[specialmom]

Well, this is tough.  When people tell us important information like this, we are best to take it to heart.  She's saying that she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now.  With you.  With the other guy. With anyone.  Something doesn't feel right to her about dating you now.  She's got other things she's working through and doesn't want to be attached or have someone attach to her, etc.

When people say this, it is best to let them be. You can tell her that if and when she is interested in a relationship and if you are still available, then you'll be there.  

and get on with your life.  good luck