What should I do? Do all guys look at porn everyday?

[Jennvball]

I love my bf and been with him for over 8 months.  I found soooo much porn and Asian porn and butt porn and I am white and not into the butt stuff.  I found it on his computer after 2-3 months of dating by looking at his history.  It was every day like 20 websites and even right before I would come over.  He has always taken forever to get off, but I thought and he says that it has always been like that.  I believed him but I do think that b/c he watched porn so much, making love to just me doesn't cut it and afraid I will never satifiy him.  I give it to him every night.  It is not like I am deprieving him at all.  I am attactive and have a great body.  It has made me insecure now about myself and hate that.  

I told him how it makes me feel and that it is a deal breaker for me.  He said he loved me and it is worth giving up for me and said he was addicted to it and done it for over 13 years and his dad and bro did it as well.  He turned off his internet at his place and has made me feel guilty about taking that away from him and has resentment built up against me these past 5 months.  We almost broke up a few weeks ago b/c of the lack of intimacy and how he wasn't really affectionate to me.  We would do it but it was always about him getting off and from behind.  It was like he was watching a porn and that is what he thinks making love is.  It has gotten better the last 2 weeks, but I am afraid that he will go back to his old ways and if we ever do get married that I will deal with this the rest of my life.  

I am also afriad if I leave him that all guys will do it and deal with this again.  Maybe not to the extent to what he was doing, everyday even before I would come over to spend the night, but some. My ex fiance did it and upset me as well.  Any advise.  Am I crazy to think there are good, attractive guys who don't look at it?  

[forgotme]

Thank you. I needed to hear that myself I knew that I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I do.

[forgotme]

I feel so bad for you I am going through the exact same thing but only worse . my "fiance" has about 50 pigs a day but the sad thing is he will do it when I am just upstairs. I'm so sick of his gross *** . he is almost 40 and acts like a 13 yr old boy with this stuff , he is totally addicted and so disrespectful. He go to his home screen or his twitter pg when I come down the stairs. Then he has the opposite problem he has a problem getting hard sometimes. Just sick. I uploaded a few penis pics to see how he felt and left my phone home one day and of course his guilty *** went through my phone , he was pissed but didn't believe I did it because of his porn to show him a lesson. Since then I still all kind of porn in his history and its sad because it tells the time he watched it. One time he call me right after, I was out working smh. Thank god I didn't give up my apt because I can't take it. It makes me wanna go cheat or go see strippers something to make it even and I believe in karma so I think its best for me to leave, 8 yrs down the drain seems like we weren't getting married anyway. But I refuse to let man say "oh its just porn all men do it" no no no. We are all human women like to *** just like anybody else and if you want to sit around and look at women getting banged all day then your not for me. So no more serious relationships I'd rather have a f-buddy if these men don't want to take relationships serious. If I don't look at penis all day and make you feel like crap why do I have deal with you doing it to me. Sorry but we have feeling too.

[specialmom]

This is an old post.  thank you.  Original poster was here in 2009.  

[The_V_Man]

Just read all this and wanted to add some guy perspective.
First, I'm sorry to say but every guy is looking at or has been involved with porn viewing in his life. For some this is a struggle, for others its not. ( I read the upper message where "some guys don't" and I'm not buying it. Finding a guy that (honestly) doesn't / won't watch porn is like finding a girl that hates shopping and runs the other way when she see's a sale. Or the girl that cant stand romantic comedies. Rare indeed.
Second: Guys do NOT compare the porn girls to REAL girls! Women make this comparison not men. It's fantasy (like reading those romance novels and thinking about that hot guy. Thinking about Comparing him to your guy? Probably not. There are some exceptions but porn is about masturbating to fantasy girls that DO NOT exist. Guys don't want to know them and absolutely don't want to date them. Test it. If there is a porn girl that a guy watches/likes a lot get him to read about her childhood and life growing up. It makes her real and that's going to be a big turn off.
Third: I enjoy a healthy sex life too and I can say personally that some positions are definitely better than others. I find it difficult to have an orgasm from the front but from behind its much easier/sensual. Its not weird just personal preference.
Forth: One big issue women have about men and porn/sexual fantasies is they have an enormously hard time not making it about them. Porn is about the guy, not the girl he's with. Women be honest, you love romantic movies and romantic comedies, however if your man gave you all the romance you wanted would you be "satisfied" and stop watching those movies? No. Because its about fantasy and its about you and not him.
Five: Any addition is bad, there is no "good" addiction.
Six: I am also a Christian and I am not suggesting porn is "good" nor is it "bad" just that it is a normal part of being a modern guy. It is very difficult for men to avoid the urge to masturbate and porn makes masturbation more satisfying. Women have nothing to be concerned about when it comes to how important they are to their partners. Trust me the men in your life are very happy to have something real to love and hold.

[DDiane]

I was referring to Judy's comment in my previous post.

[DDiane]

Your words give me hope.  I'm not sure if it's just wishful thinking but I hope not. I just spent the past week deep in thought and decided to end my 2 year relationship. I've distanced myself over the past week by not seeing him, despite his asking every day, in order to make it easier. I feel scarred by all this. Men look/gawk at me all the time and I feel total disgust when they do and not complimented. I bite my tongue from yelling "what the hell are you looking at".  I had come to the conclusion that all men do it and I would have to be alone for the rest of my life 
because i know I won't accept it in a relationship. 
but you gave me a glimmer of hope.