Aa
ex boyfriends!!!
ok so my friends boyfriend split up with her before xmas. he asked 2 meet her last week and they ended up sleeping with each other and have met 3 times since. my friend asked him if this meant he liked her again but he said no and hes not using her for sex. could sumone give advice as i dnt knw what to say to help my friend
he broke up with his girlfriend and told my friend he can resist ever1 else but not her and he didnt have sex with his girlfriend. thats y she thinks he feels something
i dnt knw how to help her in the rite way coz ive never been in a situation like this
i dnt knw how to help her in the rite way coz ive never been in a situation like this
COMMUNITY LEADER
She's going to have to have self control. All kinds of guys will have sex with us because we 'turn them on' and that is basically what this is. It isn't sex out of emotional love. It is out of the physical contact he has with her when they meet. He's clear. He doesn't want to be with her in any other way than that.
To put the sting in it, he probably goes back and tells his buddies "I told her the truth and she still shows up to give me sex."
Because that is basically what she is doing. She gives herself away for free. She's worth more than that.
Women have to be strong sometimes and see when a situation is leading nowhere and not emotionally good for us. Then we do the best thing for OURSELVES and move on with our dignity in tact.
Or she can wait until he meets another girl and starts having sex with HER and no longer calls your friend for meetings anymore. Then you can just wipe her tears with a sigh as the writing is on the wall with this one.
Good luck
To put the sting in it, he probably goes back and tells his buddies "I told her the truth and she still shows up to give me sex."
Because that is basically what she is doing. She gives herself away for free. She's worth more than that.
Women have to be strong sometimes and see when a situation is leading nowhere and not emotionally good for us. Then we do the best thing for OURSELVES and move on with our dignity in tact.
Or she can wait until he meets another girl and starts having sex with HER and no longer calls your friend for meetings anymore. Then you can just wipe her tears with a sigh as the writing is on the wall with this one.
Good luck
She needs to realize "turned on" doesn't mean "I want to get back together" or "I like you still." It means "I am ready or want to have sex." He is a 19 year old boy with raging hormones. Of course when she cuddles him he is probably going to want sex.
What doesn't help is her meeting him knowing that all he really wants is sex.
She is definitely reading more into this versus seeing this is ONLY sex; hookups.
What doesn't help is her meeting him knowing that all he really wants is sex.
She is definitely reading more into this versus seeing this is ONLY sex; hookups.
thanks to both of you. i agree with u both that she shuldnt meet him but then i can see her point of view because she tells me shes in love with him an guys are interested in her but she cant let this guy go. what didnt help is he told her when she cuddles him he gets turned on by her so this is why she thinks there still might be sumthing there but hes not telling her???
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. This is actually pretty common, I think. A couple that has been together for a long time might hook up a few times until one or both have found someone new. There is a comfort level there and if they had enjoyed sex together--- the break up adds a new element to it if it had gotten a bit stale. So, you hear of this happening a lot. And some couples do get back together.
When I was in college, my boyfriend and I broke up. We got together a few times during the break up. Then we did actually get back together and dated for another several years. Ugh----- in retrospect, a COMPLETE waste of my time. But such is hindsight. Anyway, my point is that some couples get back together.
However, I agree with Londres that it is for the best that your friend stop meeting her ex and hooking up. It is prolonging her seeing this as a break up and her getting on with her life. When one person is really invested in the other and the other person is saying that they do NOT want to date them, then it is never good to sleep with them after that.
My ex in college told me that he missed me when we got together during our break up. He made it clear that he still had feelings for me.
With your friend, it is one sided. She's got the feelings, he's telling her that he doesn't.
So, she'd be foolish to continue this and set herself for getting hurt even worse. She has to protect her heart here.
That is what I'd tell her if she were my friend. Peace and good luck
When I was in college, my boyfriend and I broke up. We got together a few times during the break up. Then we did actually get back together and dated for another several years. Ugh----- in retrospect, a COMPLETE waste of my time. But such is hindsight. Anyway, my point is that some couples get back together.
However, I agree with Londres that it is for the best that your friend stop meeting her ex and hooking up. It is prolonging her seeing this as a break up and her getting on with her life. When one person is really invested in the other and the other person is saying that they do NOT want to date them, then it is never good to sleep with them after that.
My ex in college told me that he missed me when we got together during our break up. He made it clear that he still had feelings for me.
With your friend, it is one sided. She's got the feelings, he's telling her that he doesn't.
So, she'd be foolish to continue this and set herself for getting hurt even worse. She has to protect her heart here.
That is what I'd tell her if she were my friend. Peace and good luck
He sounds like he is immature; typical for most 19 year old guys. Plus, she just shouldn't be giving her body/sex to a boy who has pretty much dumped her after the break up; would't recommend ANY woman/girl do that.
I would definitely tell your friend don't have sex with him especially since he has expressed he doesn't "like" her anymore. She definitely doesn't want to end up pregnant with this guy's child who sounds like he has no interest in being with her at all accept for sex. Then, what would she have to offer a baby as a 19 year old single mother?
In my opinion, he is not being honest with her at all. I am not sure what he is up to, but it doesn't sound good.
He sounds like someone she shouldn't be wasting her time on.
Being that she is 19, she really should put more focus on school, a job, friends or other activities that don't involve sex and boys; something that will benefit her future.
I would definitely tell your friend don't have sex with him especially since he has expressed he doesn't "like" her anymore. She definitely doesn't want to end up pregnant with this guy's child who sounds like he has no interest in being with her at all accept for sex. Then, what would she have to offer a baby as a 19 year old single mother?
In my opinion, he is not being honest with her at all. I am not sure what he is up to, but it doesn't sound good.
He sounds like someone she shouldn't be wasting her time on.
Being that she is 19, she really should put more focus on school, a job, friends or other activities that don't involve sex and boys; something that will benefit her future.
BTW: how old are they? They sounds extremely young in my opinion; high school age.
He has already told her he is not interested in her any more. It doesn't matter if they were together for 4 years, etc. He has stated as you say in your post he doesn't "like" her anymore.
Even if YOU think he has feelings for her I would recommend letting the two of them work things out. What I mean by working things out is TALKING, not having sex. I just wouldn't get in the middle of her "love" life. Don't see anything wrong with being there for support, but let these two works things out if there is anything to be worked out.
Just because he is still having sex with her DOESN'T mean he wants to get back together with her.
Sex doesn't equal "still love or like you."
Even if YOU think he has feelings for her I would recommend letting the two of them work things out. What I mean by working things out is TALKING, not having sex. I just wouldn't get in the middle of her "love" life. Don't see anything wrong with being there for support, but let these two works things out if there is anything to be worked out.
Just because he is still having sex with her DOESN'T mean he wants to get back together with her.
Sex doesn't equal "still love or like you."
it is my friend, i am happily engaged and ttc.
my friend is 19 and she was in a long term relationship with him, they were together for 4 years. she thinks he still has feelings for her. i dont knw how to advise her???
my friend is 19 and she was in a long term relationship with him, they were together for 4 years. she thinks he still has feelings for her. i dont knw how to advise her???
Well, for starts, tell your "friend" to STOP meeting this boy for sex because it does sound like he is USING her for sex. I think the ex bf is just flat out lying about not using your "friend" for sex. Plus, he has already made it CLEAR he is not interested in getting back together.
Tell her to be done with him and move on.
How old are they?
Tell her to be done with him and move on.
How old are they?
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