Should I??

[Shy2456]

Ok to start off I am 23 years old. My best friend's brother is dating one of our friends who we hang out with often when she's not at college. Well I'm very very close with my best friend's family, they treat me as if I am one of the family. Her brother will hang out with us too when he has nothing else going on and I've slept in his bed before when she would stay out at a party and I wanted to go home (she locks her bedroom and I couldn't get in). Here's to the real story now, he says he loves his girlfriend, but he hates that she's never home and always at school. So he's kind of been ready to break up with her, but doesn't quite want to yet. He is very very flirtatious with me and I am with him. I like him a lot. Well, me, him, and his sister were all watching a movie in their basement one night and  she went upstairs to go get popcorn and more beer. I was sitting in the middle of them on the couch and now it was just me and him on the couch with me right next to him. Well I could feel him looking at me and so I looked at him and he started gently rubbing my hair and had the  "I'm going to kiss you" grin that guys get. And he kissed me. Before I knew it we were full out making out on the couch. Then we heard his sister coming back and had to stop kissing. As the night went on he and I were texting and he wanted me to sleep in his bed that night (if you catch my drift) and I said no. But here's the thing, we're all going out tonight and his sister told me to sleep in his bed tonight b/c her other friend who's not so comfortable with the family is also sleeping over. So he knew that I would be and he keeps mentioning sex. Trust me I reeeaaaaallllly want to and doubt I'll be able to control myself in the situation; especially b/c we will be drinking tonight. I've never had sex before and heknows that. He also knows I'm interested in having sex with him. I'm not the type to think I have to wait til marriage or anything, but how could I do that to our friend. Even tho she treats him so badly and he really likes me too. And I'd feel better him taking my virginty b/c I have known him forever.... What should I do?

[BabyHardiman]

Are you willing to let "fun" come between you and two of your friends?  How would you feel it this scenario were reversed and it were your friend who was thinking about sleeping with YOUR boyfriend?  That would be very hurtful to you, I am sure.

I have low tolerance for people who cheat, or who consider cheating.  What you are doing is wrong in even considering this.  

You sound like a sweet person.  I hope that you will reconsider your plans and think about your friend right now that will be hurt by your actions. . . as well as yourself, you will be hurt in the end as well.  

Mami gave awesome advise - I would certainly read it again and carefully think about what you will let happen tonight.  You have the destiny of two good friends in your hands.  If I were in your shoes I would do exactly as Mami suggested.  Please have more respect for yourself.  The "fun" want last long I can assure you of that.  

[Vance2335]

That was my motto back in college...only live once so have fun. But you have to think about things like pregnancy and STD's also.
In college I was with about 35 different women, did that make me happy? At the time yes but now I look back at it and want to kick my own ***.

[Tess1313]

Well this is a tough one. You really don't want to ruin your friendship with the girl and he could be using you. However, you not really wanting a relationship with him either, are you just looking for a night of fun? If you are then like you said why not? You only live once. But this could have terrible ramifacations so be ready for them. I say its up to you.

[Shy2456]

Yea thats tru but we don't drink and get hammered. Plus we both have to drive tonight so only one or two will be had. And yes I've held onto it this long, but I'm starting to think hey ya only live once; why not have some fun while I'm still alive to have fun

[mami1323]

I agree, that's something special that you will always remember.  Save it for someone who is more deserving.

[Vance2335]

Good to know that you are going to wait but you have kept your vaginity this long why spoil it on a one time thing when drunk?

[Shy2456]

Thanks guys. I know that its wrong, but my hormones can get the best of me like all of us sometimes lol. I think I'll wait. I don't know if he wants a relationship with me or not. But to be honest I don't know if I want one either. If it weren't for my friend, I'd do it, but I think I will wait.

[Vance2335]

My answer is NO you should not. Do you want to lose a friend and your varginity in the same night? If you and him want to be together let him do it right by breaking up with his girlfriend and you two date and get togther before you have sex. Do you really know that he wants you as his girlfriend of you just think he does? Will he do the same thing to you as he is doing to his current girlfriend? Your 23 and have not had sex yet, must be for a reason. So why waste your first time on someone how has a girlfriend?

If he really wants you then he will break up with his girlfriend and start dating you, other then that you are just someone to sleep with.

[mami1323]

Shy, don't do it.  You will live to regret it, especially if this is your first.  He's dating a friend of yours.  The way she treats him is their business and theirs alone.  If he's so unhappy with her, he would end the relationship.  Yet, he's unwilling to do that and probably won't do it just because you are going to sleep with him.  If anything, he will just look at you as being easy because there is no relationship there, there is nothing but sex.  If he likes you so much then he will end his relationship with her and ask you out, not ask you to have sex.  You will not get any respect from him and he will no longer pursue you afterward as nothing more then just a sexual thing.  What I recommend doing is waiting until their relationship ends, if he's interested in moving forward with you in a relationship type capacity, confront your friend and explain to her that you have feelings for him and him for you and you would want to know how she feels about you and him being together.  That you do not want to go behind her back and be with him, you would like her approval.  If she doesn't approve, then you have to see if your friendship means more to you then your relationship with him.  If she's a good friend, you may want to think twice about being with him.  But I do not think it would be in your best interest to spend tonight with him.  Good luck.

[Shy2456]

Oh and I kinda need quick advice, we're going out in like 7 hours!