anyone have success story for spouse's porn addiction?

[jazzyben]

Does anyone have any success stories regarding porn/ masturbation issues with their spouse?? I am ready to bail and i really could use some positive words. I love him and I know he wants to stop but gets frustrated and caves. I am getting so tired of it all tho. I told him last night that I wanted to postpone our wedding and he was very upset- I'm not sure what will happen from here.

[Marie787]

My boyfriend looks at pictures of women; I found them on his phone. (together 7 years and a daughter) All I can say is - I don't like it and I will not put up with it. It's my life and I choose the sort of person I want to be with. I will not be pushed into believing this is right because everyone else feels it is. It hurts my feelings and that is not love.
I do believe in forgiveness and I have given my boyfriend the chance to sort his priorities out.
If I find another picture I will leave him, for your own self esteem you have to stick up for your beliefs. Nothing will kill you more emotionally than giving in.

[PromisedLand]

I used to watch a lot of porn...one day my wife said "it's porn or me...take your pick"...that was 8 months ago and I haven't watched it since and I came to the conclusion that it is disgusting, abusive to women (who appear to be willing participants) and I can't see it benefiting couples.  I've known several people in the industry in various roles (camera work, "actor", etc) and when they started checking out my sister or my daughters I wanted to strangle them.  Most of the women get tossed out on the dust pile, or are addicted to drugs, booze or both...

To me the female body is a beautiful thing not to be treated as a playground for these guys with their baseball bat sized Johnsons and then moved on to the next filming of the day and then eventually tossed out.

My wife and I are still together, and I find the stuff disgusting now.

Jim

[martin704]

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[reign99]

Are we in the 21st century yet?  Just curious.

Is your husband watching kiddie porn?  Is he raping girls?  I just don't get it.  Guys like sex.  All guys.  Different guys like different things when it comes to sex.  Have any of you women talked to your men about what makes them happy?  Man just because you don't want to do something, or are ashamed of doing it, you make him ashamed for being interested in it?

I can understand if it goes way over the top, if the man has become non-functional in his life, loses his job, is just buying hookers left and right...but some straight up hardcore porn?  Come on.  My advice to the guys is find a girl from our century, establish a sex life that you enjoy, and build you life from there.  

Oh, I've been with my girlfriend, now fiance, eight years.  We watch porn together sometimes and then have a good time, and sometimes I watch it when she's not "responsive" to my advances and she tells me to go "take care of myself"...lol.  I love her, she's sexy and she knows it, and we have a lot of fun together.  We're not complete pervs in bed but we're not prude, generally a good fit for each other I think.

Loosen up folks, I think shame is the biggest problem here.  And to the men:  seriously, we're all doing it guys.  It's what we do, we're men.  Testosterone's a ***** fellas, but sex is the primary job nature gave us to do.  So unless our women would rather we run around sleeping with every girl we see...give us some sex, or some porn, and let's get some sleep. :)

[turkee23]

i dont see problems with the porn... i agree with broke.... I WATCH PORN EVERY SINGLE DAY !!....probably twice a day .... i still love my hubby like no other, we have sex all the time, and i think the porn even makes our sex even better.....

i just dont understand why people get so bent out of shape about porn, its always thrown way out of proportion....like broke said these women DO NOT replace you, doesnt mean they love you any less, and none of then would leave you to be with a dang porn star......

if the man starts to actually go on website to talk to other women and email and get in contact with these women then its different, if they are JUST WATCHING porn...whats the problem???

[abester]

Ah that clarifies a bit more. You had very good reason to then. I was wrong. But you also misunderstood me. I was simply giving you a first hand look at what a guy thinks about when seeking the opposite sex and how porn comes into play. I personally feel there is tons wrong with porn itself, but I feel "watching" porn is for the most part harmless and thrown way out of proportion (which explains my outburst in the last comment). Personally, I am in a healthy loving relationship with a gorgeous girl (for three years now). I would never go on a porn site (or any site) to seek a girl for cyber sex or anything of that nature. I can see where your coming from. It was very wrong what your husband did but it is the act of "one man who watched porn" in comparison to "every other man in the world". Therefore you can't say "watching porn itself is wrong", but rather "other acts that may result from porn watching are wrong". Two very different things, and they don't necessarily go hand in hand. *Analogy* A man can buy a gun and never shoot someone. At the same time a man can buy a gun and shoot someone with it. Then again a man can shoot someone and never bought a gun in the first place (picked it up from someone who dropped it, stole it etc.) This being said "just because a man buys a gun it doesn't necessarily mean he will ever fire it, let alone shoot anyone. You should go easy on the next man you encounter. I assure you "every man has either watched or currently watches porn". Its natural to be interested in two people copulating. Cyber sex and writing letters is something completely different. Also one last thing. Whether you want to believe it or not, all men see the act of having relations with a women as a conquest in one form or another. If they don't then there is something wrong with them. The reason being, every guy tries to date, kiss, sleep with, fool around with, or have a relationship with as good-looking a girl as they can get for that purpose. To be honest most guys arent as "nice" as I am. I never take advantage of a girl, or lead her on. I have never slept with a girl I didn't care about emotionally. You need to realize in trying to obtain that really good-looking girls number, trying to gather up the courage to speak to that gorgeous girl from work, or trying to get a date with the girl of your dreams, every time a guy succeeds in this area it is a conquest. A goal reached. There is nothing wrong with thinking that. This isn't to say that women are "objects". This isn't what I'm trying to imply, nor ever would, but the act of "reaching" the courage to get a number, date, etc with a highly attractive female, who has a great personality is seen as a grand achievement is all I'm saying.Why would you date someone who you didn't look back and think "wow I really played my cards right and became lucky enough to be with this person" ?