baby in mind for future

[vikki819]

My boyfriend is 35 and he says his biological clock is ticking. but I am 21 and mine isn't. my goal is to finish school or at least be in my last year of college before i have a child. And he completely understands and has been very supportive of me while i've been in school. We have this connection where we both make each other's soul melt. We have compassion for each other and are both very mature. I am very mature for being 21 and always have been. I have a good head on my shoulder and dont feel pressured into having kids and settling down. i do want thoses things in my life after i get my life situated. I have a goal to finish school and get a career and have a family.My parents and grandmother dont like the idea that he is older,but they say as long as he makes me happy. but i want them to accept him for being older but treating me like they want,which he does. i love him but havent told him yet b/c im not ready for the i love you game. i like how things are now, but im scared that my parents wont like him and what if things dont work out?i have faith they will, but i just am wondering why age is such a issue? if we love each other and want to be together no matter what, then why does it matter to them? i want their approval before anything big happens, like marriage or starting a family.

[Judy246]

That's intereting to hear that a man's biological clock is ticking, since a man can have a baby up to his 60+...interesting. Although you are beautiful, smart and mature for your age, you are not at his level of maturity and I mean absolutely no disrespect when I say, he is at the age of settling down and you are not, so the age gap has caught up with both of you. I agree 100% with you that your priority is to finish school, find your career, then re-evaluate if exclusive commitment is right for you. He is at that point right now. Communication and trust are key to a relationship and  you have to tell him that you are not ready for that type of commitment at this point, but after you finish school, have a career, you would like to reconsider the relationship at a higher level of commitment.  He will either understand or within time leave the relationship and pursue what he wants at this point. The only difference in age is a life experiences and maturity and although you are mature for your age, he is at a different level of maturity in his age, resulting in conflict. Don't do anyting you don't want to do or are ready for just to keep him or keep him happy. He will either respect you at this point in time of your life or re-evaluate the realtionship.  Good luck, Judy

[jo929]

I agree woth Judy, he has done his running around and you have not had your chance to live some, but you are right in the education dept, it is most important, and remember men can have children even in thei 70, do not buy his biological ticking, that is his way of trying to control you i dont think age makes a difference in some people but in others when you are 21, you just need a little more time, try to explain this to him he has had his share of sowing wild oats, but when he is 50 you are 35 i would think this over and not be swayed from a decision that you feel is right for you   luck  jo