dont know where we stand??

[aly0825]

Me and my boyfriend been together for almost 5 years. I love him wit all my heart he says he loves me to im all he ever wanted but yet he still talks to other women on line tellin them things that he never says to me. How should i feel??

[MarkLakewood3367]

Then I think you have no choice but to give your BF and yourself an ultimatum.  You need to decide what needs to occur or not occur in order for you relationship to get to the next stage with its own dead line date.  You may discuss this with him.  Should the relationship not be where you want it to be by that deadline date, then perhaps this relationship will not work.

On the other hand, if you are truly invested in this relationship as it sounds like you are, you may want to consider couples therapy.  This would be a great way to determine the fate of your relationship.  If he chooses not to participate, then your decision is relatively easy.

[specialmom]

Smart lady.  Sometimes for ourselves, to be taking care of ourselves, we have to cut our losses.  It may be the time for you to do that hon.  good luck

[aly0825]

Yes i feel like im to strong of a women to keep doin this over and over again

[specialmom]

Sweetie, with your last statement, is leaving this relationship something you'd consider??  

[aly0825]

I will never be that one for him

[aly0825]

We have had talk after talk about this he says he understand but i dont think he knows how much he hurttin me and it is hard for me to trust him all i ever want to be his one and only but he makes me feel like

[specialmom]

If my man *WERE*.  Working on my grammar.  :>)

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, personally, if my man was talking to other women online, I'd have a real problem with it.  It would cause me to not trust him and I'd need an adequate explanation for why he's doing it.  I personally can't think of any explanation.

Some people have this 'secondary gain' thing and that is why they flirt.  They aren't really wanting to cheat but they enjoy the feeling of others being attracted to them and they like getting attention.  I'd not find this attractive in a partner.

And others enjoy chasing other people even if in a relationship.

So, I'd discuss with your partner your boundaries.  Be firm with these boundaries and if he isn't interested or can't adhere to them, then move on sweetie.  good luck and let me know how it goes!

[MarkLakewood3367]

This is a question of 'how should you feel'.  Rather, have you expressed your feelings to your BF regarding this behavior?  Have you asked your BF where you both stand in your relationship?  It sounds like what is missing from your relationship is some meaningful communication.