What to do, can't take much more

[iamjustme88]

I'll try to make this short. Husband and I haven't gotten along since I quit work due to health problems. Now he wants a divorce, says I fight all the time. I believe it is because I'm not adding to the pot. We have money problems. Waitingin on a trial for disability. Its been 3 long years. I feel we should divorce also since he likes to play the silent game. I have been accused of being unfaithful a couple years back, and I'm sure he still believe's that also. All I do is sit is this house. Prob. is I'm very depressed over all this and its hard living here when no one speaks. My sis said I should come down to her place. What do you think? recently started on another antidepressant. It will be hard giving up my home and letting him finally go since I like the man he was in the past. So nice to me then. I also have to leave my pets. Its all bad. Appreciate any and all opinions. Can't deal with the emotional abuse anymore. Thanks.

[babypooh]

Yes, we usually know what we have to do when we face difficult times, but it's hard to actually do it.  But if you think about it, you have to go through it anyway so might as well do it sooner than later.  Whatever happens, it's for the better.  Don't think too much about it.  There's no point other than to torment yourself even more.  Like you said, you already know what to do.  Don't keep thinking, just do it.  Talk to him.  Good luck

[iamjustme88]

Thank you Kate and Babypooh. I appreciate your feedbeack so much. I believe I know what I have to do, its just doing it!

[babypooh]

I also think it would be a good idea to get away for a while.  It will either make him see that he misses you and he really needs you back, or it will make him realize even more that it's better that way.  Either way, it would help to stop wasting time.  It's always hard to make a big change like that, but if it needs to be done, the sooner the better.  No use in prolonging the agony.  Everyone has a breaking point, if you think you've reached yours, then take the time you both need away from each other.  

[KATE535]

Give yourself a time period where you discreetly 'put him on trial' - as you say you'll be giving up a lot, so I wouldn't leave immediately if you're in doubt. Analise him over a few weeks, or a month or two (maybe make some notes on the good times and the bad times, the positives and the negatives of your relationship, what makes you want to stay and what makes you want to go) Gather a picture of your life from this and decide if it is likely to change, or get better, or do you even have a future that will be fulfilling with this man. Weigh up the pros and cons of your relationship.

I also think after all that you should talk about your relationhip seriously together.
If it's worth working out then you both will have to come away from stubborness. I know how frustarting the silent treatment can be - whereas shouting is no more acceptable, it does alleviate frustration immediately and passes quickly, the silent treatment, however, can go on and on and on. The way you both deal with being angry with one another is getting you nowhere.

He should certainly be more supportive of you being at home, since this isn't something you choose to be doing. Also, it is very lonely at home sometimes - when he comes home he should be talking to you, but he isn't. He sounds uncaring to say the least.

Perhaps going to your sisters will give you a break and he may actually appreciate you  more than he has been - his silent treatment has little impact on an empty house or a few pets.

You have several options but you also have the option to leave and be happy elsewhere...