keeping ex girlfriends out

[mainer44]

I have an ex girl friend & we have 3 girls . I have tried for 4 years to tell her to stay out of my personal life & she does not need to know about my finance's. I do have visitation order & child support to see my 3 girls but right now I am dis able to go see them and the ex refuse's to bring them too see me. My question is how do I move on when she will not stop??

[AnnieBrooke]

Yes, I wish you would.  You say "How do I move on?" but don't say what you are trying to move on from.  If it is, you want her to disentangle from being interested in whether you have a girlfriend, that is one thing.  If it is that you want to leave your children and no longer have to pay for them, that is another.  If it is the latter, of COURSE she (and probably her lawyer) will want to know the state of your finances, since you are presumably saying that you are on full disability and that is your only income.  You can't make it go away if you have three kids to pay child support for, even by being on disability, and even to lower your payments will take a lot of court work.  So, please come back and clarify what you want to move on about.  If it is simply that you want her to stop being romantically or emotionally interested in you, some of the ladies on here are excellent advisors and I would guess would give you good help.  If you're trying to get out of court-ordered child support obligations (visitation or payments) that is a matter for your lawyer and hers.

[Londres70]

Can you clarify and/or give more details?

[AnnieBrooke]

(I'm assuming you are paying your child support at the usual amount for your state, and paying on time.  If not, you will be in a difficult position if she does contact her attorney.)

[AnnieBrooke]

Oh, good for you nursegirl, I read that as snooping into his fiance's life, not his finance's.  The apostrophe was more noticeable to me than the extra n.  lol  

I can understand her being curious about your finances, if you are saying you are too disabled to do something you have promised to do, like come see the kids on your visitation schedule.  It is a shame she is doing this in person, she should just have her lawyer do it.

Some of these things are best handled by the professionals, so the principals can stay civil with each other.

[nursegirl6572]

I'm not 100% sure I understand...I read your initial post as your ex is nebbing into your finances?  There are right and wrong ways to go about finding out/inquiring about someone's resources in regards to support.  

If she's struggling, think you're not paying enough, then she should file for a modification with the court system.  Could you clarify for us what she's doing?

[specialmom]

I'm just going to say that no matter how disabled I was, I'd find a way to be with my kids.  I'm sure you have a friend, a mother, a brother, a taxi service that can help you with getting your children.  The rest is silly.  If she is stalking you on facebook, so what.  What is the big deal?  It's natural to be curious when there is a break up.  She'll grow tired of it.  

See your kids and make that your priority. THAT is what life is about and not ex wife drama.  good luck

[Londres70]

Is she pestering you everyday with nonsense?  Calling, texting............what exactly is she doing?  Guess I am looking for more details.

Any conversation with her should be strictly related to the children.  If she starts up about what is going on in your personal life then just simply don't reply and try to steer the conversation back to the children.  If the conversation has nothing to do with the children then shut it down.

I am not sure if she has to bring the children to you or not.  I would get legal advice about this.  You have the right to see the children, but that doesn't mean she must bring them to you because you are disabled.......legally speaking.

[AnnieBrooke]

If she is trying to find out if you are really unable to come see the children, possibly her questions will look to you like she is trying to get into your fiancee's life when all she is trying to do is find out if you, or someone close to you, can drive you to see the kids for your visitation.

If you have dropped the ball on several visitation appointments, and especially if you think you are at risk of losing your right to see your kids over the issue (what obligation one party has to help the other with transportation, if the other party has no car or ability to take public transport, is very thorny in visitation discussions), talk to your attorney who handled the child-visitation documents.  You want to overcome the appearance of yourself using your disability as an excuse not to go see your kids.

If your fiancee is being literally harassed, your fiancee might have a legal complaint against your ex.  She should talk to an attorney.

[Life360_Dave]

HI, how is she getting into your personal life? And why did this relationship end in the first place?