Aa
relationship advice
Im 8 months pregnant with my first and its been a incredibly difficult pregnancy. Im on bed rest until the baby is here so im relying on my husband right now for support. Weve only been married for 10 months, hes thelove of my life or so i tthought. I caught him sexting another woman and in my eyes thats cheating. So i brought up my concerns and he freaked out. He wont talk to me, he wont look at me. Hes gone for hours at a time and hes blaming me for his problem! I cant just move out and end things, what should I do?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ugh, that's so unfortunate. Honestly, you need to sit down with him and have him explain what the heck he was doing and WHY. What's up. And if he ignores you------- let him know this is his chance to work on the relationship. That 'later' could be too late. That right now you are vulnerable and hurting and you need to discuss this. That you may be mad but that you are more hurt than anything and don't understand what this means. That you can not allow this kind of thing to go on because it damages the relationship to a point where it cant be repaired. How is he going to fix it before it gets to that point?
If he refuses to talk to you---- that is your answer. That he is NOT going to repair it and that is HIS choice. I'm so sorry though as you are having his baby and really 'need' him right now. ugh.
If he refuses to talk to you---- that is your answer. That he is NOT going to repair it and that is HIS choice. I'm so sorry though as you are having his baby and really 'need' him right now. ugh.
Hes been acting funny and taking his phone every where with him including the shower. ( thats where he was taking most of his nude pictures) he fell asleep and i looked Through his phone. Its his ex that he was with for two years. They split up because she cheated on him and got pregnant... weve brrn together almost 4 years
COMMUNITY LEADER
I a so sorry to hear this. What a terrible time when it is supposed to be a happy time having your first child together.
I think sexting is very wrong but is not 'exactly' cheating either. If he met up with someone and got naked with them I'd personally feel even worse. But that doesn't diminish how bad you feel right now. And then to add insult to injury, he stops communicating and somehow is going to act like it is your fault. Tricky that he is trying to pull that and I bet somewhere deep inside of you there is a little spot that thinks 'could I do something different, what if . . ." all of that nonsense we do when we second guess ourselves.
I agree it is his issue in terms of breaching the boundary of marriage by sexting. I would not give into the immature way he wants to handle this. I would tell him that when he wants to be mature and talk about what has happened, you'll talk to him but agree if he is going to act the way he is, he shouldn't even try to talk to you. This will floor him because he wants you to beg him back. To be so relieved he comes back to you that you'll overlook his sexting. Don't fall for it.
Now, you're on bed rest. Are you in a house/apartment with just him or do you live with parents or anything? If you need help, call your mom. Have this baby, allow him to see and bond with the baby but in terms of your relationship, the ball is in his court. Own what he did, talk about why and FIX it. That's on him and he has to first acknowledge he did wrong.
How did you find out?
I think sexting is very wrong but is not 'exactly' cheating either. If he met up with someone and got naked with them I'd personally feel even worse. But that doesn't diminish how bad you feel right now. And then to add insult to injury, he stops communicating and somehow is going to act like it is your fault. Tricky that he is trying to pull that and I bet somewhere deep inside of you there is a little spot that thinks 'could I do something different, what if . . ." all of that nonsense we do when we second guess ourselves.
I agree it is his issue in terms of breaching the boundary of marriage by sexting. I would not give into the immature way he wants to handle this. I would tell him that when he wants to be mature and talk about what has happened, you'll talk to him but agree if he is going to act the way he is, he shouldn't even try to talk to you. This will floor him because he wants you to beg him back. To be so relieved he comes back to you that you'll overlook his sexting. Don't fall for it.
Now, you're on bed rest. Are you in a house/apartment with just him or do you live with parents or anything? If you need help, call your mom. Have this baby, allow him to see and bond with the baby but in terms of your relationship, the ball is in his court. Own what he did, talk about why and FIX it. That's on him and he has to first acknowledge he did wrong.
How did you find out?
Sexting is sending dirty pics of yourself or others to someone on the other end. Mommy_of_three_blessings... i have been raised without a father and have raised my first child without a father. Men don't need to be there to raise a kid but it helps. I understand that marriage is forever but would you want your child growing up believing thats how life is? It is unhealthy to be in a relationship like that.
That really ***** , sorry your dealing with that especially being on bed rest and feeling helpless!! Just remember it isn't your fault , he can't and shouldn't blame you for it your willing to talk to him after what he's done, he shouldn't be so stupid and take that for granted (sorry but he's being stupid) to not talk to you ...remember your worth girl! Good luck
I do love him, that will never change. And I'm not the type to just give up. But i dont trust him and im stuck in this bed all day wondering where he is and what hes doing. Im going crazy. I cant figure out why, i want to know why he wanted to marry me knowing i would never be enough. And im a mom now, hes abandoned me and theres nothing i can do but provide a life for my child. And i cant be consumed with fear everyday wondering. But i have no way of moving, or supporting myself right now. I cant get out of bed! And he says hes not lettingme. Go.
Wow isn't it easy to give others advice when you wouldn't be the one without a dad to raise your child!!! We all make mistakes and marriage is suppose to be for life. DO you love him enough to make it work or give him another chance?
That is cheating... not acceptable. If it really bothers you and maybe a problem you cant forget or forgive its better to leave.. having a child and.living with him being like this is not worth the stress you deserve better. You will find a better man and.all.he.will end.up are ******
If I were in that situation I would leave him and live with my family. 10 months isn't long to be married for him to already be doing that. It's concerning how he acted when you confronted him. That is cheating and he will probably continue to do it because he is not sorry.
My Cousin Went Threw The Exact Same Thinq... And Not To Worry You Or Cause Stress, But He's Still Doinq The Same Thinq Leavinq For Hours, Iqnorinq Her Texts/Calls When He's Out, Comes Home Fights With Her So He Can Leave, And The Baby's 5Months Old..
So, Maybe He Just Wasn't Ready To Settle Down Love? Try To Talk To Him, And See If He's Willinq To Change His Ways.. Cause He Needs To Be A Man And Be There For You And The Baby.. Not Givinq You Stress..
So, Maybe He Just Wasn't Ready To Settle Down Love? Try To Talk To Him, And See If He's Willinq To Change His Ways.. Cause He Needs To Be A Man And Be There For You And The Baby.. Not Givinq You Stress..
I would approach him and see if he's willing to go to couples councilling. Or speak to a minister, faith leader. Try to work it out. If he won't go obviously he's not the guy for you!!!
I'm sorry you are going thro this. When I was ppregnant with my daughter 5yrs ago same thing happen to me my husband of 10mnths was cheating on me while preggers I found emails with photos that I really didn't need to see, he never came home after work and blamed it on me, I was 6mnths preggers when I had enough I packed my bags and went home to my mom and never looked back. I met a wonderful man when my daughter was 3mnths old and him and I are still together till this day and are expecting a daughter in 3 weeks. It's not worth the pain walk away and focus on you and no baby.. good luck.
Sounds like something more is going on too. I would let him know that you will not put up with it. He has to prove that he is worthy of your trust that he has not physically cheated. Don't blame yourself for anything. You need to take care of your baby and you. I hope that you guys can work things out. But he needs to grow up and man up.
Beat him with a flip flop! Lol. It's a joke. But I would try to get him to talk. Maybe send him a text message.
I would stab him !!! Ok not really but you deserve better. You are not responsible for his actions. If he is willing to sext he us capable od doing more. You need to figure out what you can live with. Can you ever trust him again or will you be paranoid and suspicious of everything he does? Once your baby is here there will be even more stress on you and him. Hope you get through this and make the best decision for you.
This is when he should be sticking by you and I think that would be cheating in any bodies eyes are you not wanting to leave bc your afraid he will cheat or bc you want this to be the man that helps you raise your child? You really need to think of what is best for both of you you do not want the little one to think it is okay to be treated like that or treat like that!!! Maybe you should find family or friends who will for now let you say and figure it out
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