Did your husband/boyfriend (or you if any guys are reading this) feel like he did not experience enough sexually prior to getting married/committed?

[Sarawalsh]

Hi

I am a 23yr old female and my boyfriend is 26.  We met when he was 20. He had a few sexual partners prior to meeting meet. I think he had sex with about 6 or 7 partners (never gave me a straight answer because he says now he is with me, the past does not matter). Anyways, lately he has been talking about his fantasy of having a threesome (most guys fantasy I know). (I welcome his ideas about sex - i think it is important for people in a relationship to share and not be ridiculed when it comes to sex ideas they have). Threesomes are not for me and do not want to have one because I know I could not mentally deal with it and i believe in a mongamous relationship. So having one is not an option and he is fine with it. My bf knows this and said he is just curious about the idea - that is all. I know this fantasy is common among guys but should I be worried that it is a sign that he subconciously wishes he experimented more sexually before he met me? (He used to be kind of a party guy before he met me - but not for the past 6 years. He has responsabilities, works hard and deals with things in a very mature way). But he is happy sexually with me.

We are talking about marriage and I am wondering if secretly he might feel cheated that he met me at 20 and has not had the chance to experiment more sexually? We have a good, open and honest relationship. I know it is harder for guys to be in monogamous relationship than girls due to the way they think/were created. I'm wondering if any guys that married in their twenties or are in a commited relationship felt or feel regret in not having experienced more sexually prior to getting married or committed? I do not know how open you ladies are with your men about sexualy topics, but if you have an imput on this - please let me know.

Like I said - we have a good relationship but i am thinking about all his need and wants and I am wondering if any guys or any of your ladies husbands/ boyfriends felt/feel that way that you know of?

[coolas]

I don't think this is cause for concern - I am sure MANY men have fantasized about having a threesome, but I'm sure the number that actually have had one, is far smaller. .  Having a threesome is definitely not for everyone - I would not be remotely interested in having one myself, so I doubt your boyfriend will hold a grudge if you fall into that category, besides which, not all fantasies are meant to be realized. If he loves you and wants to marry you then you really shouldn't be worrying about it.  

As long as you continue to have a satisfying sex life, your boyfriend will not have regrets - he'll be grateful to have a good sex life, because so many people don't!

Relax.  Chill.

A-

[adr333]

You need to find somebody that will share your same sexual views.

[mami1323]

My fiance has a checkered sexual past and I have mine, although he's more experienced than I am.  I know he was bothered by one of my past flings but I never got upset about his past.  I was actually quite curious about it.  He has never gone into how many people he's slept with or anything like that, I just know a few stories.  I don't really care what was done prior to me.  There is so much more to worry about in a relationship than how many people you were with before you were together.  Cross that bridge when you come to it.  Meaning, if you end it with him now because you doubt his seriousness, than do it, if you decide to stay with him than let that thought go.

[Judy246]

I think I have more sexual experiences than he. He was raised suburban, clean cut, just a nice guy. I was a wild child in my days. I experimented more than he and the end result is....it doesn't matter. As long as we love and respect each other, have a great intimacy, the past is just that ...the past.  

[jo929]

When a man talks about a threesome he is definatly not the marriage type if he thinks of it he will eventually cheat if it were me i would not marry him untill he is a little more mature he has not had time to sow all of his wild oats and beleive he will in time  luck  jo

[Sarawalsh]

Thank you for your answer. I am not saying that I would go for a 3some or that he would either. I agree - i would not want to share him and he would not want to share me either. We just openly discuss our fantasies and my question is - whether or not guys who are married/ committed now - feel like they did not experiment enough sexually before settiling down. Idk if you are married or have a serious boyfriend and how old you are - but do you think your boyfriend/husband experimented enough sexually prior to being with you?

[Judy246]

sorry, I meant, I would leave him on the spot!

[Judy246]

Hi, first when couples begin to bring up their sexual past, it's just asking for unecessary trouble, jelousy and insecurities, so it should be left where it belongs....in the past.

Inviting a 3 some is a fantasy, but when it happens, it will change the dynamics of the relationship and put everyone at risk for STD's. Most young men like this idea, but the majority of men do not. We are talking here about moral values and putting the relationship at risk. I believe in sharing, but not my man! He's curious and temptation can lead to future infidelity and bringing home an STD. Also, how can you trust a man who is risky, daring and want to take a chance with a valued relationship? This is just my opinion, if my fiance would become adventures and bring up a threesome, I would leave him right on the spot. I'm not risking my relationship, future infidelity, insecurities and jelousy's, not trusting him anymore and the risk of an STD. I want to be his fantasy and able to fullfill his fantasy, if he is willing to risk our relationship by bringing another...that's just not for me. I would live him over it......but, that's just my opinion. Good Luck