Are you a GOOD friend?

[fed up 25]

I am so sick of people who stab you in the back! Good friends are hard to find and when you do   you would do anything for them.   Being a good friend is not hard. When someone is always there for you when you need them and when you need them back they are not around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so sick of people who are only around when they need something from you.And when you think  the friends who SHOULD  reciprocate DONT it only makes you that much more angry or hurt!!!!!!!!
Im just venting!!!!!!!! To the people out here that have these few good friends treat them right. Love them and appreciate them and never let them go and instead of thinking  "i might need them one day" think "they might need me one day"
I am tired of the self centered, self absorbed nature of the people I love the most. What the heck is wrong with friends these days!!!!!!!!!!

[udontknowme]

New Here, but wanted to add that I have a "friend" who has done that **** to me. I could actually type several pages of all the **** she has done. I have let her hurt me too many times, my guard is up now. The worst part is I have been friends with her for almost 3 years. I was there for her through alot M/C and TTC again(her son is 2 now)and the list goes on and on.I am sorry  fed up I know you are hurting and pissed at the same time.

[happybaby23]

Where are all the GOOD friends?

I have two so called best friends.  One will only call when her boyfriend is busy and she needs someone to talk to or hang out with.  The other calls to constantly complain about her life and never lets me get a word in edgewise.  

Friendship needs to be reciprocated.  Why is it so hard for people to treat others the way they want to be treated?

The only person I even really consider a good friend anymore is my husband.  He feels the same way.  At least we have eachother!

[blackrose]

A swab is somebody that gets tretaed like **** all of the time,they are only wanted when there freind needs something.If you need help it is not given in return.That is a swab,its like saying you are a mop and that you mop up there messes.

[who_dis]

What in the heck is a swab, just so I know if I am one?

[Mertek]

I hear you, Fed. I have finally gotten to the point where I expect very little of people. It seems to keep me sane, and I am very rarely disappointed. :)

If one person in particular is really making you crazy, talk to them. Chances are, they have no idea that they have done something wrong. People can be that oblivious.

[JJety]

Wow honey, you are really upset.  I'm sorry.  What did they do to you??

[fed up 25]

I agree in accepting faults in a person that is what a true friend should do.  Thank god nobody is perfect it would make life very plain.  I have certainly had friendships where I saught out as much as Thought I put into it and it just never works. And it does lead to dissapointment.
In friendships where there is one very needy one all the time  it is hard. but when somoeone doesnt do something they should have   it STINGS!!!!!!!!

[who_dis]

*extends greeting hand to fed up*

Yes, what happened?

[leif ericson]

someone once said that the meaning of friendship is accepting
the "faults" in those who are your friends.  nobody is perfect,
but we make a choice to treat certain people a little better than we treat strangers for whatever reason we choose. i have
only a few good friends, but they are never perfect, and i put up whith their bullshit as much as they put up with mine. thats
the nature of friendship. i think it's sometimes our OWN desire
to seek as much out of a friendship as we THINK we put into it,
and that can lead to a feeling of dissapointment.       l.e.

[sdp4314]

Yep, it's best to keep your expectations low to avoid feeling let down.  I know it sucks, but I've learned to do that and it does make it easier.

I have good friend who is nicer to strangers than he is to his loved ones.  Go figure!

Anyway hon, let it all out!

[sk2006a]

i'm right there with you.  i've had several "good" friends really let me down, and it does leave you feeling like you don't want to really risk getting hurt again.  but, what's the alternative?  i guess expect little and be presently surprised if/when they come through.  

i'm watching my daughter go through the same thing.   let me tell you, it's WAY harder watching your child struggle with those feelings.  i feel so helpless, and at 16 she's too old for me to "fix" things for her.  

good luck and keep your heart open :)

[jojo24]

I have just one good friend outside of my family. It's so hard to make friends and keep them, and the sucky thing is, I've always wanted a group of friends like the sex in the city girls but I guess that is not reality.  The truth is, I don't think a lot of people know what it means to be a good friend.  I'm one of those people who do and I feel like it works against me.  Everyone I have ever met comes to me wanting me to listen to their problems, but when it comes down to me expressing my feelings it's like I'm talking to a brick wall or the conversation is switched back to them.  I have learned to have low expectations with people as well, as much as it kills me inside to have to do that.  But after my last friendship that ended, it really hurt me and I still have to look at this girl everyday when I go to school, I have a really hard time trusting people with my feelings.  I just don't understand how people can be so petty, so selfish, so immature, and so judgemental and call themselves a good friend.  It boggles the mind.  But my one friend that I do have ( who is currently in Iraq) has always been there for me, never judgemental, knew exactly what I needed before I ever told her, senses when something is wrong, even when she's thousands of miles away, (and our names rhyme), she is completely honest always, and I am the same way with her.  We lean on each other, and she is the definition of a true friend.

[blackrose]

Hi,your freinds can be egotistical bull crappers.Be thankful for the freinds you do have that will help you and listen to you when you do need a freind.Every one needs freinds but not the kind that will be mean and hurt your feelings.The ones that do that I don't consider them freinds but soon to enemies,because they will stabb you in the back,and talk about you,especially things you have told them.They will turn it into some thing more and hurt you with it later on.Don't get down on your self because of one stupid person,go on and enjoy your other freinds that you do have,the ones that are not back stabbers.The back stabbers are the ones to where you wish you had two eyes in the back of your head,to watch them closely.Some freinds just think they know it all when really they have no clue on how to be a freind.Some times you think they will be your freind for ever but then down the line they start making new freinds,and they pick up on how they treat there swabs(freinds)I said swabs because they are the ones who want the respect from that person so they do every thing for them,but when they need help,they tell them to get lost.When they need them again they call them up and give them a whole string of lies and bull ****.The swabs will fall for it again.When they finally realize they are just being used,they dump there captain and say the he// with them.Sounds like you need to say the he// with this one freind and move on.Good luck,life is hard but only as hard as you want it,you have control of it now enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fed up 25]

I could ask if  a good friend exists but I know the answer! Because I AM ONE!!!!!! Damn we all need a friend, support acceptance love etc.. once in a while!!!  A good friend is someone who knows you 1000% Knows what you need before you know. What has happened in this pathetic society? Is it too much to ask someone to think of someone other than themselves!!!!! No matter what goes on in your own life ALWAYS  take 1 ONE LOUSY MINUTE of your day. And when you have screwed or hurt your good friend always say your sorry  people who cant can take a flying leap in my book its one of the biggest personality flaws!
And to any of you out there who have  that friend who loves you NO MATTER WHAT  you better know how lucky you are. To love and accept you for who you are? What more can you ask for.

Babylove: Thanks   I have just begun to vent  watch out!

[babylove2006]

Honey! If you need to vent then you go right ahead. I will listen. :)

[babylove2006]

And it really hurts when your so called best friend threats you this way. I could go on and on.

[babylove2006]

I totally agree! I have a friend just like that. She only calls me when she wants me to do something for her. I have always been supportive of her and her BAD choices. Then the one time I really needed her she b*tch*d me out.