what do I say

[Alex_X_18]

I had a friendship that a build steadily over a year now with a guy who lives close by to me we visted often
normaly at least once a week sometime 2 times or more. Over time we got to know each other but I guess hes a lonley horney guy with no one so he started saying we should be friends with benifits after about 4-5 months or so of us being friends. He claims jis reason is he doesn't really like picking up stangers and that he prefers sex to be with someon he know and trusts. My answer was always no but I have good reasons I slept with a couple of my friends and felt that it distanced and ruined friendhips between memebers in our group of friends ect... one of which was a five year friendship thrown away mostly in part cuz we did the nasty. I always said that the golden rule is sex and money are two things you don't mix with friends you wanna keep. But a few nights ago something happened we decided to take a reasearch chemical known as 2ci its whats known as a designer drug. The chemical itself is a very strong halucinogen but its unregulated so its legal to purchase online. I've only taken it once and taken another drug the 2c family before but this time was diffrent this family of drugs have a long come up with a steady build unfortunely it did the worst possible thing for us. Both of us expericed a rolling body high and got super horney and he starts texting me saying he wants to eat me in my room. I just said no and he kept texting telling me how sexy I am while we are watching the movie and he keeps bugging me. I tell him my reasons (for the zillionth time) and he insists that
he isn't like that (granted I trust this guy and yes he is a cool guy) he gives me the whole frog to prince thing going on and runs the whole oh I'm not like other guys bs. sorry not gonna take the bait here .....and throughout the whole body high and texting while the movie we are watching is going he contines to apaologise for makin me feel uncomfortable then asks again cuz he is sexualy frustrated. I tell him hes a guy and its fine but that I do want him to stop now (but in a polite way) Fianaly after we finish watching the movie we put in he decides to leave. I'm a little preterbed TBH but I know its for the best the guy oviously needs some time in the bathroom....or infront of the computer for that matter. So at first I just put on some music at this point I know I'll just continue with the body and mental high (no visuals) I think I didn't space enough time between my last dosing but I'm actuly glad because that woulda turned out to be a bad trip. Then he texts me and tells me I'm a cool chcik but goodbye which means he attempting to not ever see my again and end our friendship. We continue to argue over the phone via text he says that I'm catagorising him with all these people who have hurt me in the past and that he never hurt or used me at all
I tell him that hes a cool guy just not for me and he makes a point to say that he cannot be friends with someone who doesn't trust me and blah blah. He goes on to say that he wants some type of boyfriend girlfriend relationship (which I think may have been true at one point but defitantely isn't true now) but that I'm too busy talkin bout dicking other guys and doing drugs, which is totaly hypocracy because he does sex and drugs whenever he can. I tryed to stay as neutral as possible I told him that he already knew my reasons behind not wanting to have sex and that my offer of frienship is on the table and he can take it or leave it. And then he just goes yeah yeah yeah I get it (as if he were being nagged) and once again says goodbye. At this point IDK what to do I want this guy as my friend and I get the sinking feeling that he might be back but I'm not really sure if I should even let someone who does this back into my life. I feel a strong need to vent and push out these negative emotions so I though about maybe messaging him on facebook but I have nothing to say except angry things like how dare you do this in such a way after I welcomed you into my home to do drugs that I paid for. And if you didn't do anything wrong you wouldn't have been apologising. I'm not sure what to do just yet or if I should do anything at all really.
I know there isn't one right answer to this but,.....
Does anyone have any advice to put this into perspective???
thanks fir reading,
Alex

[Alex_X_18]

sorry ppl this is who I am,.......
(it won't change reguardless of what you post)
and sex does not = joy or love
not unless its with someone you care about
I already know its can be bad hard on the body and brain but unfortunely
I am here at this point
there is no changing or getting around that
I pratice pagan however I'm very open there are times where I meditate or pray to the christian god and go to church or even temples
and I don't need drugs for craftwork in fact I have always practiced spells and meditataion and prayers sober drugs simply assist in trance and astral travle....
but this is an entirely seprate subject that I wouldn't like to discuss on this forum

2nd I don't enjoy the drama thats the reason why this guy is out of my life now

[brice1967]

About the drugs and religion thing.... if you need drugs to experience your religion, youre probbly into the wrong religion.  I am not a "holier than thou" individual.  I have done some drugs in my day, but it was recreational use and had nothing to do with religion.  (I am not even sure what religion you are practicing, and where.)  Drugs are illegal.  Drug use will eventually get you into trouble with the law or with your health.  I am kind of an old fart with a bit of experience.... trust me.  Save your brain cells, it will help you make better decisions regarding things like this.

And you also mentioned about having sex to get something out of it.  I really hope you were referencing satisfaction or joy.... if you were talking about money or things, there is a term for that and it isnt a pretty term....

[TTinKKerBBell]

My opinion - the best advise You've had here is to leave the drugs alone.  You aren't interested in that advise so the only thing left here is to make an observation:

1:  He's horney (friends with benefits)

2:  You're enjoying the drama (attention)

[Lynniepooh]

Well it sounds like you have it all figured out and didn't need advice!

I hope he realizes that he has a great friend and will grow up a bit and be your friend!

Good Luck
Lynn

[Alex_X_18]

unfortunately the drugs won't stop anytime soon,....
sorry to dispoint you guys but I'm just a very honest person and thats how it goes
spituality and praticing alternative holistic type things led me to drugs
and then drugs led me to more spirtuality.......but enough about that that is a completely diffrent subject.
In terms of my friend I know he is manipulating me but its not going to work.
I don't have any feelings for him of any kind (not that he isn't a chill guy cuz he is)
I think hes a hard worker hes got 2 jobs and hes good at giving advice as well
plus he is liad back
I just find him physcaly attractive but not sexualy attrative so much of the desire for sex isn't there. I can sence that sex might be awquard becuase I just don't feel a sexaul vibe (so I know by far this isn't worth it) Aside from that I'm not giving it up for free
I know that sounds kindof stuck up but why lay if you get nothing from it I mean if you can get something go for it right? I should at least want sex for the point of sex.....
but I don't. Which is why I can't be friends with this guy, he stuck in the whole I wanna
fu(k you phase and won't get out until he finds himself someone else to let out his frustrations on. Aside from that I don't think that I should allow him back into my life
after he does something like this it sets me up to get taken advantage of and shows that I'm vounerable. But who knows really becuase time heals all wounds I have had other guys wrong me or cross me wrong only to come back months or even years later to apologise tell me I'm cool and then say that they want to be friends. Its always a possibly but its not something I am going to count on happening.
I'd like to thank eveone for the advise,
Alex potts

[specialmom]

I agree with Vance.  Warning-------- old fuddy duddy alert.  This is not the most flattering depiction of what goes on in your free time.  It pains me to think of a young girl doing this to herself.  Drugs are nothing to play around with--------- you get in compromising positions (as you know)------- don't always make the best choices as well as it is dangerous to your health and future.  I'll leave it at that but my hope is that you find better ways to have fun.  

Now this guy never wanted to be your friend.  He is sexually attracted to you and that is what he wanted from you.  Otherwise, he'd say "okay, let's just be friends as we are" and not get in a huff about it.  Kind of irks me that he is trying to manipulate you to think it is just a trust issue for why you don't want to have sex.  I don't think he is a friend at all--------- and best to let him go.  

Something to also think about is that maybe you do send some very mixed signals.  When high, you may present yourself in a way that he thinks there is a chance for sex.  Many a woman likes to have guy "friends" around that they subconsciously know "wants" them to feed their ego.  Make sure you aren't doing that.  good luck

[Vance2335]

2 issues are at hand here...first drugs use...STOP. No matter what drug you take it is illegal and illegal for a reason. I'm not going to go into more detail then that.

Second is a guy who has feeling for you and you don't. Maybe it is better not to hang around him. If he feels something then there is nothing you can do to change the way he feels. Maybe he started to be friends because he wanted something more and it has just gotten to be too much for him not to have you so he has decided to walk away.

[Lynniepooh]

How old are you guys?

It seems kinda like my now husband!

We were friends for like 2 years before we even started dating.  (he was a best friends ex)

He always used to call me and tell me he wanted me and other stuff. I liked the guy A LOT but I always told him no. ( I was a virgin and scared of my feelings) Then one night he called me up and we were both drunk, he said some extremely sweet things to me and asked me to go on a date.  I gave in and said yes.  But I didn't let him pressure me either.  The good part of knowing each other for so long is that he knew everything about me and I knew everything about him. He took it slow, he was well experience and obviously I was not!

We have now been together for 10 years, Married almost 8.

I know my story isn't really the same as yours. So let me just say, If you have any feelings other then just friendship for the guy, give him a chance but don't just jump in the sack with him. Just mess around a little. But you will have to talk to him about it. Take it slow. You would be changing the whole dynamic of your friendship and that takes some getting used to!  

If he can't handle taking things slow then he isn't BF material or even worthy of being your friend.  At this point he is just trying to wear you down!  He thinks by saying "goodbye" to you, it will have this power on you to keep calling him and make him come back. And if you do that he may take that as a invite to do something you still don't want!

If you only have friendly feeling for him and he can't be your friend because he wants to jump you, then maybe its best to just move on.  Sometimes it happens that way and you will get over it. Find some new friends!


I will say Best Friends, Make the Best Lovers!

I hope you are able to figure things out and make the right choice!

I hope this helped you a little
Keep me posted