Need advice in dealing with a Bi-Polar boyfriend!!

[della2224]

Me and my Fince have been together about 2 years. I have always known that he is a lil unstable..lol but it was nothing i couldn't handle. But lately he just flips from one mood to the other, and says really mean things that i know he doesn't mean. But they are really hurtfull and its hard for me to excuss them just because he is Bi-polar.. any advise???

[della2224]

No he is not seeing anyone for it, or taking any medication. He refuses to  take any or go see someone. its very frustrating to me cause i love him soooo much. he is such an amazing person who has this bipolor **** and it makes him 2 dif people. He can handle it for a good while, but when he blows up its really bad. I don't wanna give up on him or us. Ill try and talk to him, but i sadly dont think it will make a dif :(

[della2224]

I def make sure he eats, and gets lots of sex!!!! i want it more then he does..lol but ya i have noticed the mood change if he hasnt eatin. He jus gets mad and irritated by the dumbest ****. Like when u open somthing thats in a wrapper...he cant stand that noise an has freaked out on me befor cuz i guess i took to long to open it and the noise was bugging him, or eating chips to loud, or cereal, or lots of lil dumb things that cant be controlled. He has gotten better but he refuses to take medication. its just hard cuz i cant ever really tell what kind of mood he is in, so its like i have to guess and approach him in a certain diff way with his diff moods...im still trying to figure it out..lol

[thatquietgirl]

Is he seeing a therapist and psychiatrist?  Is he on meds?  If he is on meds, he may need an adjustment.  If he's not, he should consider going on them.  And if he's not seeing a therapist, he really should.  It'd help him learn some techniques to better cope with his bipolar disorder so he doesn't lash out as much on you.  Yes, it will inevitably happen from time to time, but if it's happening that much, then he really should realize it's detrimental to him and his relationship with you, so he should want to do whatever it takes to get stable and healthy again.

All the stuff the other person mentioned may help--if he's NOT manic.  If he is manic, he'll probably want to have lots of sex and he'll want to be active, but avoiding stimulation is necessary.  This means no comedies, no action flicks, no music that's any more stimulating than a classical piece.  You'll want to make sure he's still eating as eating habits when manic can range from eating normally to eating a lot to eating very little if at all.  You can't control him, but you can at least remind him that this will help.  If he's depressed?  Then definitely try to make sure he gets out of bed, goes out and sees people despite the natural urge of depression to stay home or in bed or wherever will keep him from others, make sure he tries to be at least a little active, try for sex (unless you two are waiting for marriage).  And you can't expect him to do any of that despite your urging if he is depressed, so be patient.  Sometimes just getting out of bed or taking a shower is a lot of effort when a person's depressed.

But remember this: just because he has a mental illness does not mean he has an excuse to be lashing out at you or saying hurtful things to you.  He's an adult.  He should know better, and he should be working on some self-control even when in an episode, and if he doesn't have those skills, he should see someone to help learn them.  He has to learn to be functional with his illness--at least as functional as possible, and that varies from case to case, but still.  It's a sometimes-daily struggle living with bipolar disorder, but he can learn it if I and many others have learned some self-control or at least how to talk to our significant other and say something like, "I need a little space right now," if we know we're prone to lashing out at that time.  So, sit down with him.  Don't say, "Honey, I've noticed you've been manic/depressed lately," or anything like that because depending on his stage of acceptance about having the illness, he may take that as hurtful/get defensive because of it, but say something like, "Honey, can we talk?  You've been saying some things lately that have really hurt me, and I wanted to see if we can come up with a solution to avoid it in the future."

Best of luck!

[Womanontop]

OMG! May I please!

Let me ask you this... Does his mood change when he eats? Like if he has not eaten supper or breakfast lunch whatever? If you noticed this is the case. perhaps you can help! Remind him to eat or make sure he is full. My husband and best friend is TOTALLY a Gemini and has low blood sugar. He is a complete ******* if he does not eat. I have to make sure he has eaten. He is a larger than average guy. Solid mass everywhere, including where it counts! ;-)

He has a very big appetite but has not an ounce of fat. He also is very sexually active. If he doesn't get "his" he will also be moody.

So ask yourself if...
1.) he eats regularly and eats snacks to help his blood sugar. i know this sounds crazy but trust me it is HUGE!

2.) Lots of sex? That will help his mood as well. Very good for his mental and cardio is good for the body! LOL

3.) Is he active? Exorcise? Use that manly body. Move it. Get it out. Sunlight no video games or Internet porn! LOL Walks in the park at the least.

And one last thing... No matter what your situation, you be the WOMAN. Strong and powerful. Do not play games but be strong and confident. Make sure you feel sexy.

Lastly.. if all of this won't help. Grant it these things take time. Don't expect a quick result unless he sees a doctor and has a real problem. Make him an appointment and tell him it is a regular check up.LOL