Dear Life360
I must thank both you and Allan for your candid responses. I see both if your point and have taken them on board, statistically speaking as Allan has pointed the risk if me gaining some infection from this regretful situation is minimal but saying that a minimal risk is still a minimal risk. With regard to any suggestion my reasons for these questions is to cover up the situation is far from correct in the point that my raising the question was to get some clarity regarding what steps to undertake next. Regardless of wether you believe me or not this was the first time I have ever strayed from the path, I regret this and do feel the guilt I should, and I know I will not do this again. I do not think at any time in my life have I felt like this, up until today every ache, pain tingle and sensation reminded me of something I had read online regarding a symptom of HIV and or an STD but as the two experts I have contacted have clearly pointed out to me this was a minimal risk activity for an std and there was never any real risk of HIV, the issues I am feeling are likely driven by anxiety and guilt. So what I am going to do is this I return home tomorrow I will be making an appointment with a family planning centre to discuss and undertake testing for Any STD testing they suggest is appropriate. Once I have that completed I will work on putting thus ideal behind me and understanding better why it happened in order to ensure it does not happen again. Does thus mean I will tell my wife I honestly don't know but what I do know is the reason I am going through this stress is because of concern about how this mistake could impact her. I do nit want her to suffer particularly by me dumping my guilt into her this was my fault not hers. But I will ensure she is protected from any medical ramifications that the planning centre believe I may need testing for.
Regards
Jade
For a mate to expose their loved one to any risk without them knowing is uncalled for and is a cover up. Yes we live with risks every day and they should not be caused by the ones we trust. Thats whats cheating is all about. If a person exposes their mate then they should man up and at least tell them is they dont want to get tested.
Professional workers are exposed to topical infections like herpes, syphilis and hpv much more than non professionals. I dont believe the average person has sex with 10 different people in one day but professionals may and may have more.
You are correct but we live with risk everyday. The risk of winning big in the lottery is million to one but i dont worry about how I will spend that when I eventually win. likewise my house could blowup while typing this response or a petrol tanker could crash through the wall. I might also slip over and kill myself in the street. my point here is yes there is a risk but he took precautions as best as possible. Condoms are he best defence except for abstaining and significantly reduce the risk.
Like myself in this regretable position I dont wish to judge but merely reiterate the risks and facts I collected from the doctors responses. Yes there is a risk but its more likely our partners are at greater risk from our driving than an std from a 1 time protected exposure.
This is not about risks to oneself but putting an innocent person at risk, weather its 1-10,000 or a million.
The 1 - 10,000 was is response to herpes. Just to clarify
According to Dr Hunter the protected risk for 1 time exposure for protected sex is estimated to be 1 in 10,000 Thats 1 chace if you had sex for the next 27 years every day with an infected partner.
Post in more detail here
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Risk-of-Herpes-from-this-exposure/show/1845261
like myself its a case of estimating your actual risk, without obvious symptoms testing isnt usually advised.
HPV there is no test in men.
Syphilis is very rare 10,000 cases in the US per year and 1/3 of those is seen in hetrosexual transmissions. Testing fo this is 6 weeks but here in the UK i started to see clinics offering 4 weeks tests.
Since your married, the skin to skin mentioned above would be herpes, syphilis and HPV. For your wifes protection you should test for these. Syphilis at 6 week, herpes at 3 months. There is no test for hpv so keep an eye out for any warts that develop. If you were not married would not be an issue as is low risk but this would be for your wifes protection.
You will also see I completed a course of Amoxocilin, you will need to allow for this if you decided to test as it may effect some bacterial std tests,
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Testing-advice-needed-please/show/2113683
The most important thing to note in your post is that this was an entirely protected affair. That does not prevent the guilt and anxiety but it does very much limit your STD risk. I intend to test at 5 weeks for my own piece of mind. I would have done so at 4 weeks by the Amoxicilin put me back a week as i finished this at 4 weeks post exposure. I hope that helps you out. One key message I read and it provided me with comforts is that STD's are not judemental, they dont infect based on wheather you faithful or not, they infect based on their presence and opportunity. Having used protection you effectively remove the opportunity except for skin to skin transmitted std's.