Aa
Oral Sex
This is just a little survery about how many men and women engage in oral sex and whether or not they like recieving it or giving it. I read recently in a book about men who do or don't like giving oral sex to their female lover and why. It was amazing to me what some men said. One man said it was about his pleasure not hers. (I wouldn't be with him!) Some men said they felt uncomfortable for fear it would smell (sorry guys but a clean one doesn't smell like fish!) Some women said they were uncomfortable about their genitals to let a man do that to them. Some women only would have an orgasm with oral sex. (rarely women have them with just intercourse alone!) One guy says he saves that for only special occasions like birthdays and holidays! (give me a break! I think I would save the sex then for someone else! LOL) Anyway on the other side women didn't mind doing for their men. But many women don't take it to the next level of whether or not they would finish it if you get my drift. Anyway, I was wondering how many men really won't do that for a woman and if they don't does their woman do it for them? I think it has to be a mutual choice in the matter. If the woman doesn't want that and he doesn't like to do it than so be it, but what if she wanted him to and he refused. Like I said alot of women don't have orgasms any other way so does she go without or find other ways to achieve it? I think orgasms are better when given to you by your partner but that is not always the case. Well reading that article made me mad at some parts and curious in others. So what do you all think?
My wife has always been an eager sex partner. She loves intercourse and also prides herself on her fellatio talents. Not only is she fantastic at giving head; she enjoys giving it. We are in our 60's and sex today is every bit as good, if not better then it was in our 20's, just not quite so acrobatic. There's just one thing. My wife no longer enjoys cunnilingus. I offer, yet the answer is always no. I've always enjoyed going down on her yet, she tells me that oral is too up front and personal for her genitals. I ask if I'm being too aggressive, etc. and the answer is always no, I love how you perform oral sex. I suppose intercourse is okay for her because the "one eyed trouser snake can't see what's going on. :) I honor her position on this. No pun intended. We've been together for 43 years. Not close to being a deal breaker. It just makes me wonder what the "real" reason is. Cunnilingus used to be a surefire way for her to reach orgasm and I love when she "gets off". She still reaches orgasm with intercourse and she often has orgasms by simply engaging with her nipples. Great clitoral network! That truly blows my mind! She's a wonderful woman and at 66 still turns heads; the one's on men's shoulders. :) Just not sure I understand her true reasoning for not receiving oral sex. :)
2 Comments
Have you ever asked her to explain further? Sounds like you have a terrific and open relationship in which you could tell her that you miss it a bit. But I can see that the thrill is gone if it is something you want her to want and she doesn't. I think some women when they've gone through menopause, things do change a bit. Even things as simple as lubrication due to hormonal changes. She may just be dealing with a few things like that. But talk to her about it.
I totally agree with GR.
Menopause changes things. Her vaginal tissues may be thinning, and it may be too sensitive. She may feel she has an odor (real or perceived).
Maybe one time you made a sound that sounded (real or perceived) to her like you weren't enjoying it, and she misinterpreted that, and held onto it. Maybe she's decided she no longer looks the same, and thinks she's unattractive.
It could be 100 different reasons, but ask her. Just say, gently and lovingly, "One of my favorite things was pleasuring you orally. I love how connected it made me feel to you. I know you don't like it now, but I'd love to understand why. Can you tell me what changed for you?" and then LISTEN to her answer. Don't jump in after her first sentence to try and fix it. Just listen and hear her. :)
Menopause changes things. Her vaginal tissues may be thinning, and it may be too sensitive. She may feel she has an odor (real or perceived).
Maybe one time you made a sound that sounded (real or perceived) to her like you weren't enjoying it, and she misinterpreted that, and held onto it. Maybe she's decided she no longer looks the same, and thinks she's unattractive.
It could be 100 different reasons, but ask her. Just say, gently and lovingly, "One of my favorite things was pleasuring you orally. I love how connected it made me feel to you. I know you don't like it now, but I'd love to understand why. Can you tell me what changed for you?" and then LISTEN to her answer. Don't jump in after her first sentence to try and fix it. Just listen and hear her. :)
I was married for 22 years and loved to have oral both ways. Giving a man a ******** just makes me wet, and i enjoy it very much. I also like to recieve because it feels so good. I am a very creative girl and will do almost anything during sex sessions. My problem; my new husband dont like it at all (he goes limp) when I give him a ********, and he does not like giving either. I must use my imagination when I masturbate and pretend I am getting oral......I love him but we are just not sexually compatable. We have not had any type of sex for 9 months and i am frustrated with all of it. When I try to tak to him he gets mad because he ont ike taking about sex at all.
O what a great subject, oral sex is, I just love to give and receive it, I love doing it to my wife just after I have shaved her, all smooth and oily, just whta else could a man want. we ahve a great bedside book but its in the loft and I just cant think of the title, gives great tips on oral each way, one last thing my wife taking my balls in her moth why? shaved, we have been this way for to many years.
Good Luck
Good Luck
Sex is the natural phenomenon occurring in the individuals when the hormones get excited. Sexual intercourse is the important part of the sex that consists of the insertion of the penis into the female’s reproductive organ. Sexual intercourse is a mandatory part of the sex as it helps the women to get pregnant and enjoy the beautiful feeling of motherhood. Please understand that sex is not only the physical activity, but it is also an emotional activity in which the two bodies and souls get together for giving each other pleasure. Men specifically think of sex as the physical activity and take it as granted that their partner also think of sex as sexual activity. But, they should understand that women think of sex as the emotional activity. So,hunderstanding the perspective of your partner about the sex is the first step towards making the sex life better. Women also should understand the men’s perspective about the sex and should cooperate actively in the sex.
myself i love oral sex i enjoy giving but don't get me wrong i like recieving.my main interest is making her feel as good as posible in any way i can , thats where i get a lot of my pleasure.i love putting her toes in my mouth and rolling my tongue over around and between each one and getting them very wet.performing oral sex on a women is so fullfilling.just the thought of having part of her body in my mouth is a real turn on.and if she squirts when she orgasms makes it more exciting.i could do it from sun up to sun down.i hope this did you some good.pete
I love recieving oral, but my husband doesn't like recieving it! Weird! I asked him once if I was just bad at it. He said no, he just didn't care for it, never has. Although he loves to give it and he is good at it too! Lucky me! Too bad for him! LOL
I love oral sex, both giving and receiving. I just love to pleasure a woman. A lot of sexual pleasure comes from just pleasing the other person.
I've found that it's hard to date a woman who doesn't at least like giving a **. I also know that a lot of women love receiving oral, so I'm happy to oblige. It's just plain fun.
I've found that it's hard to date a woman who doesn't at least like giving a **. I also know that a lot of women love receiving oral, so I'm happy to oblige. It's just plain fun.
As a male, love to receive, love to give even more.
The topic of size, oh yes, how the truth comes out. I would have to agree with the women above that many women have told me size does matter. It is an oddity because if you're in love, it doesn't matter, but if your dating or friends with special privs, it needs to be thick and big. Understandably, I'm assuming women need to feel "filled".
On the topic, what is considered an large penis? Is thick and long? Long and thin? thick and short? Please, elaborate.
The topic of size, oh yes, how the truth comes out. I would have to agree with the women above that many women have told me size does matter. It is an oddity because if you're in love, it doesn't matter, but if your dating or friends with special privs, it needs to be thick and big. Understandably, I'm assuming women need to feel "filled".
On the topic, what is considered an large penis? Is thick and long? Long and thin? thick and short? Please, elaborate.
If you feel that: "The idea of the "69" position to me is repulsive . . . ", I don't know how far you will get giving a guy "oral pleasure". "69" is nice for both partners to give and receive orally at the same time, but you may be able to concentrate better doing it one at a time. Basically, it involves pulling the foreskin down, exposing the head of the penis, kissing the tip a couple of times, then slipping your mouth over the head, swirling your tongue around--sometimes licking the pee hole and sometimes licking around where the head joins the shaft--as the head is in your mouth giving mild suction. You can slide your lips up and down along the shaft, but not deep enough to gag. Of course, there are several things that you can do leading up to this blowjob. If your man is flaccid, run your hands along his upper thighs. You might use your one hand to fondle his balls and the other hand to slip up and down his shaft until he is hard. But I personally don't care for the hand to pump my penis once a blowjob is started. Either do a complete handjob or a complete blowjob. Don't be in a hurry. Take your time, as you are in control and can make it last. If he is getting too excited, you can take your mouth off the penis and lick his balls and his shaft like a lollipop for a few minutes and then put the head in your mouth again. When he shoots his load, will you swallow it all? Eventually, you should learn to swallow, but If not now, you'd better have a small towel handy. Now all this is for when he is sitting in a chair or laying on your bed with you between his legs. If you are on your back, with your head propped up against the backboard, and he is straddling your chest, then he is in control and will pump his shaft into your mouth. When I do this, I like to pull all out briefly to hear that popping sound that the sucking lips make before sliding in again. There are many variations to all of this, but that will get you started. Hopefully, it will not be so repulsive to you, and that you will look forward to pleasing your partner as he is to pleasing you.
The idea of the "69" position to me is repulsive.I have never really given a guy "oral pleasure" and have started seeing someone recently and wouldnt mind some tips if that wouldnt be too much to ask, i know everyone is different but there has to be a rough guidline. Id like to be able to give and receive rather then just receive for a change, any tips as such would be much appreciated
I find it to be the opposite, I find that men with a larger penis is less "active" in the bedroom, like they know they have something good and you are going to have to work for it. I have to agree on size though. What's even worse is a minute man. I dated this guy once, good looking, engineer, manager, beautiful house, treated me and the kids like a queen, when it came time for sex, " 3 pumps" no lie......I was like he must be joking. Not only that, it was about the size of my middle finger. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw him, I thought about it and thought about it and I just couldn't bring myself to continue seeing him. I love penis too...lol
Wow what a topic of discussion... I thought I'd add my two cents, since I'm pretty bored on a Friday night!
Personally, oral has NEVER finished me off. (I guess I'm kind of a weirdo!) I've been single for a couple of years now, I've done a lot of dating, and it seems like the first time I'm intimate with a man, he goes down on me. It's like, they want to make a good first impression, they want to see how "wild" I might get, or how easy I am to sadisfy. And even though it's sadisfying, I think I enjoy the power of having a man try to hard to make me "happy"-for lack of a better word! I'll be honest, I fake orgasims a lot. LOL. And I do the same thing with the men I date, I'll reciprocate. And I've gotten many compliments, I must say. It's fun... Both ways.
But nothing can replace a penis. And a normal-large penis, for that manner! I've dated about 15 men in 2 years, and let me tell you size CANNOT be judged by outward appearances! Every man is so different down there. And that's more of a topic of conversation, in my opinion... That whole package (no punn intended!) is VERY, VERY hard to find. I've been let down a couple of times... These very attractive men, with education, who are intellectual, who I have had butterflies and sparkling eyes towards... And after waiting a month or two of dating, when it's time to express our feelings on the physical level, well, lets just say there wasn't enough there to keep the relationship going further. I'm not shallow... I just require average minimum penis size. Because for me, oral just doesn't cut it. Oh so dissapointing.
And the irony of that is that men with large penises tend to be much more sexually motivated. (It's natural, I learn from the Discovery channel or something!) It's harder to settle down with a man who is well-endowed. So my question is... Will I ever get a man with a large penis to be in a relationship with me?!?! Geeeeeze...
I opened up a whole new can of worms, didn't I? Screw the oral, I'm going for the big ones! Hehehe...
Personally, oral has NEVER finished me off. (I guess I'm kind of a weirdo!) I've been single for a couple of years now, I've done a lot of dating, and it seems like the first time I'm intimate with a man, he goes down on me. It's like, they want to make a good first impression, they want to see how "wild" I might get, or how easy I am to sadisfy. And even though it's sadisfying, I think I enjoy the power of having a man try to hard to make me "happy"-for lack of a better word! I'll be honest, I fake orgasims a lot. LOL. And I do the same thing with the men I date, I'll reciprocate. And I've gotten many compliments, I must say. It's fun... Both ways.
But nothing can replace a penis. And a normal-large penis, for that manner! I've dated about 15 men in 2 years, and let me tell you size CANNOT be judged by outward appearances! Every man is so different down there. And that's more of a topic of conversation, in my opinion... That whole package (no punn intended!) is VERY, VERY hard to find. I've been let down a couple of times... These very attractive men, with education, who are intellectual, who I have had butterflies and sparkling eyes towards... And after waiting a month or two of dating, when it's time to express our feelings on the physical level, well, lets just say there wasn't enough there to keep the relationship going further. I'm not shallow... I just require average minimum penis size. Because for me, oral just doesn't cut it. Oh so dissapointing.
And the irony of that is that men with large penises tend to be much more sexually motivated. (It's natural, I learn from the Discovery channel or something!) It's harder to settle down with a man who is well-endowed. So my question is... Will I ever get a man with a large penis to be in a relationship with me?!?! Geeeeeze...
I opened up a whole new can of worms, didn't I? Screw the oral, I'm going for the big ones! Hehehe...
It just goes to show you that it is very important to have communication with your partner. A lousy sex life can really cause alot of issues if one partner feels neglected. I for one would not have it any other way. I expect my partner to please me and I feel the same way in that I feel he should also be satisfied. I was married before for 2 year and it was aweful. I have been married now to my husband for 16 going on 17 years and not only do I have an orgasm almost every single time but more than one! I am a lucky gal! Did you know that is a survery of retired adults the one thing they wish they did more while they were young is have sex more often? I am taking that into consideration! LOL
I love performing oral sex on my fiancee. I love it because it turns me on. I swallow because he tastes good. On the other hand I dislike recieving oral often. I just prefer other things. It works out well because he prefers not to perform oral sex on me just because I'm more uncomfortable and I cannot reach orgasm from it. 69 is a fun way to perform at the same time and we've found that adding a viberator is amazing too! Another thing I discover is i like taking one testicle into my mouth in the 69 position and GENTLY play with it while he thrusts into my breasts and plays with me its a wonderful thing!!
While it's nice to have variety, oral sex is really the ultimate to me. Intercourse is great for body-to-body contact, but if the partner is doing the right things, oral has more potential. If one wants body-to-body, the "69" position works well. One can have an orgasm before the other and remain in position until the other goes over the brink. I like giving orally, as for one thing, it allows me to massage the woman's butt cheeks and, with some lubricant, slide a finger into her a--hole, as I consider myself a "buttman", knowing that not all women would want that. On the receiving end, I enjoy seeing my shaft standing up at attention, fully exposed to the woman, while she does all those wonderful things to all the areas with her lips and tongue while cradling my balls with one hand. I have noticed that some gals seem to get off on giving a blowjob. I would imagine that it could be quite a turn-on to have that much sexual control over a man through his organ--getting him off when you want him to (to a certain extent), just as it is for the man. It's nice when a woman or a man does not rush things and takes the time so as to enjoy the ride and not just a destination. I don't know if the procedures can be completely taught or one just has to enjoy the doing and have an interest in doing it. It would be nice if some of us felt better about offering pointers to our partners about technique. It would probably make for better relationships. Yes, I, for one, think oral is a very important part of love-making.
Yeah that would drive me nuts. Its hard to talk about sex sometimes with your partner cause you hope they don't take it the wrong way. Its weird though how you say that he used to do it right. Do you think you could start the conversation with a time that you can remember and tell him how it got you turned on?
I guess I am lucky cause I can have an orgasm either way but I husband loves doing that to me and believe me I don't mind at all! Funny thing is that he hates recieving it. I have done it before and he enjoyed it but to him he could take it or leave it. He said he has always been like that.
I hope you will be able to get back to what you had before.
I guess I am lucky cause I can have an orgasm either way but I husband loves doing that to me and believe me I don't mind at all! Funny thing is that he hates recieving it. I have done it before and he enjoyed it but to him he could take it or leave it. He said he has always been like that.
I hope you will be able to get back to what you had before.
I'd love it, but my man don't know how to do it right. he makes his tounge hard and like flicks it hard, I'd like him to make it loose and wet and very slow with his whole toung, not with just the hard tip of his toung. I am always clean, he has even commetd about that. He use to do it so right, and I loved it, but now its like he has forgotten. I wish there was a way to discuss this, I'd absoultly love, love, love it if he'd just do it right.
CAT
CAT
Parts of that article would make me mad too! Unbelievable...
Well, I definitely think it should be a somewhat 'equal' thing, whether you both get it or you both dont get it. My fiance and I have talked about it, what we like, what we want, etc. And he LOVES receiving oral sex (of course...). So I'm willing to do it quite often. However, I told him up front that I do NOT swallow or ever want it in my mouth at all for that matter. (I've never tried, but I dont like come and have no sexual desire whatsoever to taste it, GAG). So it's more of just a teaser thing for me. And, supposedly (key word), he's ok with that. I also LOVE receiving oral sex. He doesnt do it for me NEARLY as often as I do it for him. But, overall, I'm ok with that. BUT, that has a LOT to do with the fact that I CAN orgasm just from sex alone. And easily too! This is a new thing I've only experienced with him, so I guess I'm REALLY lucky. :) But I can pretty much have a guaranteed orgasm if I'm on top. So my desire (and need) for oral sex isnt as strong as it used to be.
But that is my particular situation. Overall, I'd say it's something that should be discussed in a serious, long-term relationship. It's a big deal and you dont want to fight about it later. It can be talked about casually, without making it some big, huge, drama-filled thing. But there is NO WAY that a man can expect oral pleasure if he won't give a woman anything! I wouldnt take that at least....
Well, I definitely think it should be a somewhat 'equal' thing, whether you both get it or you both dont get it. My fiance and I have talked about it, what we like, what we want, etc. And he LOVES receiving oral sex (of course...). So I'm willing to do it quite often. However, I told him up front that I do NOT swallow or ever want it in my mouth at all for that matter. (I've never tried, but I dont like come and have no sexual desire whatsoever to taste it, GAG). So it's more of just a teaser thing for me. And, supposedly (key word), he's ok with that. I also LOVE receiving oral sex. He doesnt do it for me NEARLY as often as I do it for him. But, overall, I'm ok with that. BUT, that has a LOT to do with the fact that I CAN orgasm just from sex alone. And easily too! This is a new thing I've only experienced with him, so I guess I'm REALLY lucky. :) But I can pretty much have a guaranteed orgasm if I'm on top. So my desire (and need) for oral sex isnt as strong as it used to be.
But that is my particular situation. Overall, I'd say it's something that should be discussed in a serious, long-term relationship. It's a big deal and you dont want to fight about it later. It can be talked about casually, without making it some big, huge, drama-filled thing. But there is NO WAY that a man can expect oral pleasure if he won't give a woman anything! I wouldnt take that at least....
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
