Brother In Law...

[xWoWx]

I've been married to my husband for 1 year, but we've been dating for over 5 years. Ever since I met his brother I was attracted to him some-what...he and my husband look very similar...but over the past 5 years I've been dealing with "lusting" after my brother in law...I feel so terrible about doing this and just keep hoping it'll go away. It's not a constant feeling...it'll come and go and vary in intensity. I mainly have dreams about him...very explicit dreams that stick with me for a while and quite honestly, make me just want to just jump my brother in law. I love my husband so much...he's my world. I wonder if I have these feelings towards my brother in law because my husband and I's sex life isn't very good. He suffers with bipolar 2, depression, BPD, and anxiety. I suffer with depression, very low self-esteem, and am over-weight. He doesn't work, but I work full-time Monday-Friday and am very tired throughout the week. We have sex maybe once a month. Sex with my husband isn't the greatest (but I would never dare to admit this to him). He's unable to ejaculate unless he masturbates himself. So sex usually consist of us having intercourse for a while then him masturbating himself until ha can ejaculate which usually takes 20 minutes in itself. Sometimes he gets flaccid during sex, and sometimes he can't ejaculate at all. I can only orgasm using a toy/vibrator of some sort...I wish I could orgasm with just him but I try and try and I just can't and I feel terrible about that. It's all a mess really...I want to stop wanting to have sex with my brother in law, stop dreaming about him, and I want the sex my husband and I have to be better...but I just don't know what to do.

[remar]

I agree. It is most likely the meds he's on. Are either of you in counseling? If not, I would highly recommend it. Individual and couples therapy may be a huge help to both of you.

[NOHARD]

Hi Wow, Thefirst thing you need to do is sort your husbands meds out, these proberly killing his sex life, but sex once a month does not help your problems, try getting the brother in law out of your brain, and try being out if you know hes coming round.
OK sex try getting it once a week, the more you can do it the better it should get, for both of you. But I still think its his meds are getting in the way, I know Bipolar is not good to have, as I have a son in law with same.
But the only way for your sex life to get any better is to have it more often.
Good Luck