I truly believe that having gone thru thyriod issues it has given me strength in life whereas

[ChitChatNine]

I may not have been the same person I am now if I hadn't had encountered thyroid cancer 9 mos ago when my thyroid journey began in Nov. 06.

Since then (as you all know) I also was diagnosed with an early Melanoma.  I marvel at how well I've handled this new diagnosis and sometimes even ? myself if I'm blocking my true emotions or handling them ok and I think it is the latter:  doing okay and this bcz of my thyroid and becoming a true survivor.  It has given me strength to accept things the way they are, change them if I can, if I cannot then accept them and move on.

I wrote a journal entry that I want to share with you all.  It is 4 yrs old.  Two of my children suffered from a long-term reactive arthritis and were in much pain along with chronic asthma which impacted their lives .. all is much better now but I'd like to share this with .. it is about the Strength of our Children .. but I think on this board it relates to the Strength of All of Us and our thyroid journey past, present and future.

Pls. take a moment .....the writing in itself may help, if just a tiny bit ... I reread it today after reading TOLD YOU's post .... it renewed a strength in me that sometimes I ? and need to have renewed.

LINK TO STRENGTH OF OUR CHILDREN:
http://members.tripod.com/chitchat9-ivil/mothersdaymay2003/

Cheryl

[DLA]

Thanks, I needed that good laugh! lol  Will it make him better or just make me not care?  Either way would work for me!!  LOL
Dac

[Venora Moonwind]

hey sis they do make a big honkin pill for oyur hubby.Its called ZYPREXA !! LOLI will send you some if you like.
Love Venora

[Venora Moonwind]

Cheryl you are my rock and I thank the God and Goddess for you.Each one of us is so inspritional and nowing what we have been through enables us to help others. I am feeling so good now finally after years of chronic pain and suffering .I feel better without a thyroid than I did with one.Tahnkyou agin for sharing .
Love Venora

[DLA]

CONGRATULATIONS!!  As I told you in other post I know how hard mornings are.  I, too, woke up this morning without any pain whatsoever in feet and ankles!  YEAH!  Mine will be short lived however, had a large cortisone injection yesterday, but am enjoying the benefits to the hilt!  Am thinking I may need these allllll the time. lol

I have been going through a horrendous week as well, marriage not going well, son having some health concerns, and I have an infection in my left jaw and ALL the lymphnodes on left side of jaw and neck.  So have been in excruciating pain until last night.  Like I said BIG coritsone injection, and some big ole honkin' pain pills I'm feeling better than I have in a while.  Now if I could just find a big ole honkin' pill to make husband tolerable I'd be all set!  ROFL

Thank you for the inspirational post, I REALLY needed it today!!!!
HUGS! Dac

[ChitChatNine]

If I were working full time I would have been able to go back after 3 weeks.  Everybody is so different.   And, keep in mind they didn't know I was going hypo until 2.5 weeks when they did another blood test and were quite surprised other side wasn't working.  That, plus some emotional stuff working thru the cancer diagnosis, hindered my recuperation, too I think but better to deal with it sooner vs. later for overall health of body and mind!

Some on the board went back within a week!  Not me.  Would never have been possible.  I had vertigo and migraine headache for almost a week after the surgery as a side effect of being put out .. nice, huh?  I thought that only could happen with an epidural but guess not so they say!!!

I don't know about the RAI and your ?'s but sounds right.  I opted not for RAI and to watch the other side closely.  I am blessed to have had a choice in the matter as my ca. is so so small and fully encapsulated. Or, shall I say "was" not "is".

Keep posting.. let those feeling out .. and it is ok to feel some fear and be scared ... don't keep it bottled up ... it is tough what you are going thru .. we know that on the board all too well ourselves.

Cheryl

[kipland]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Big, FAT, HUGE Hugs to you! }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You don't know how much better I feel reading those words.  As far as the surgery, I AM glad that they're taking the entire thyroid.  That way, I don't have the problem of half of it trying to work and messing up the meds.  I'm just hoping that it doesn't take forever to get the levels right.  I'm also scared of the unknown.  The surgeon was unsure of whether or not I have to have the RAI after the surgery.  He explained it to me, but I can't really remember exactly what he said.  I think he said that they'd do a scan and look for any remaining tissue?  Does that sound right?  And should there BE any tissue left if they do a total thryoidectomy?  I hate the unknown.  From what I've read about the RAI, it scares the **** out of me!!  How can you put something in your body that's so harmful to others??  I need to stop putting the cart before the horse, don't I??  :-)  I'm also scared about my job.  Honestly, it's a great place to work and they're really good about these types of things.  They're fine with the surgery, but I'm afraid that there will be days that I feel so bad I won't be able to make it in.  Does that happen often, or is it just between the surgery and getting on the meds?  Oh, what a ride this is and I haven't even had surgery!  

Again, I'm so glad to read that you feel so much better on the meds.  That's encouraging, and I needed to hear it.  I'm so glad that this site is here!!  Thank you, Cheryl!!

Lori

[ChitChatNine]

I was scared of taking Synthroid and having something to have to take the rest of my life.  Terrified.  and trust me, I'm one of those who is so sensitive to any med so we went slow and guess what .. I feel the best in the thyroid dept in my entire life!  Better than my "real" thyroid.  I had 1/2 removed and the remaining side decided not to work again so I'm on Synthroid for not only cancer supression but for the long-haul as if it were a TT . BUGS ME SOMETIMES they didn't find the Cancer during frozen section as I'd have been on Synthroid either way TT or Partial and part of the reason we did partial was that "most" and I repeat "most" people have functioning thyroids  after partial.   OK .. mute point as I'm on it for cancer supression anyway LOL but I was freakin' scared of Synthroid taking over my life .. to the point I cried for 2 weeks over it and look at me now ... it makes me feel best in my life .. I'm 48.

So I fully understand all your concerns and sening you e:hugs ...

Cheryl

[kipland]

Okay.....I'm with Shaerich and am in tears after reading your Mothers Day post!!!  Thank you for sharing that!!

I was just thinking today how my life has changed since all of this thyroid business started.  What really hit home was the cancer diagnosis.  I can't say that I broke down when I got the news.  It was more like "Where do I go from here to get it taken care of?".  Again, though - I have to agree with Shaerich.....I don't like the things that are happening to my body.  It seems like I hit 40 (last November), and all hell broke loose!!  I'm ready to put this behind me, but I know from reading these posts out here that I have a long journey ahead of me.  I'm scared.  Not so much scared of the cancer, because I'm pretty confident that it'll be gone when they remove the thyroid.  I'm just really scared that I'm never going to feel "well" again.  I'm scared now that every little ache or pain that I have, the first thing I'm going to think of is cancer.  I'm sitting here in tears as I write this because it bothers me so!!  When I met with the surgeon on Tuesday, he said "Well, it appears that you've been a pretty healthy 40 year old woman.  No surgeries, no medications, no real problems".  Yep, that's me.  This has hit me hard, and I just pray that it's not a rocky road to the future.  

Sorry for the ramble. I think I have a lot of built up "stuff" going on that I have a hard time getting rid of.  Thanks for listening you guys.  I know you've been there - done that, and that alone helps.

Lori

[artsyrose]

I, too, think we prove much stronger than we think we are given trying situations. I read your journal entry. I was already aware that you had been through some very trying times with your childrens' health problems. You are not necessarily a stronger person for it, but you found that inner strength you were not aware was lurking just under the surface to help you cope. Every time you are faced with a new challenge this strength helps you conquer and move on, and I must say you are doing a wonderful job! Here's hoping you always find more and more strength to cope, and yes, strength to give to those wonderful children so that they, too will be able to cope as young adults. Kathy

[ChitChatNine]

I have gotten to the point of strength and courage in the thyroid dept ... getting there with my foot but I have to tell you there is alot of fear in it, too .. I just try not to let the fear outweigh the strength and courage .. does that make sense?  And remember my thyroid issues are 9 mos into the making now so I was once where many are now and it is scary stuff to contend with :)

C~

[SuzieQTT]

I am humbled by your strength and courage...You give me much hope!
Suzie

[ChitChatNine]

I am LOL about the being more sore .. as they tugged and pulled I said good keep it up .. doesn't even hurt and they just looked @ me in awe ...... I told them I have done certain exercises for my feet for 35 yrs and that is older than they are LOL and hadn't done them in 8 weeks and really felt I needed them strengthened w/o hurting the tendon and you and I are both surprised and it WORKED so awesomely!

Glad youenjoyed my journal writing .... I have others for another day LOL .... C~

[ChitChatNine]

I am LOL about the being more sore .. as they tugged and pulled I said good keep it up .. doesn't even hurt and they just looked @ me in awe ...... I told them I have done certain exercises for my feet for 35 yrs and that is older than they are LOL and hadn't done them in 8 weeks and really felt I needed them strengthened w/o hurting the tendon and you and I are both surprised and it WORKED so awesomely!

Glad youenjoyed my journal writing .... I have others for another day LOL .... C~

[shaerich]

Chitchat... wow... I just read your journal entry.  Thanks for reducing me to a puddle of tears.  Simple words so eloquently put together.  What a great sentiment and a wonderful reminder.  Thank you for sharing.

And... I meant to say in my earlier post that I'm SO glad to hear you made it down the stairs "normally."  I would have thought the intense PT would have you being more sore today.  I'm glad that's not the case! :)

{{{hugs}}}

[shaerich]

All of you... your words are inspiring.  I had a really bad day yesterday... not sure why, but just kind of bummed about how my body is changing and how I still don't know what the fallout (no pun intended) of having my thyroid is goign to end up being (will I lose my hair, etc.?) and while I'm thankful for no cancer, I still feel so vulnerable having had this cancer scare, melanoma and abnormal paps in the past.  I always try to remember that God won't give me more than I can handle, but gosh, I think he thinks I'm stronger than I am... and I DO think I'm pretty strong... but sometimes I need to lean on others... I can't be the leaning post all the time.  

I have two kids, 2 and almost 1 and I need to be strong for them, but sometimes I need someone else to be strong for me.  Today I feel stronger than yesterday, but I am sure that there will be those days where I feel completely scared and vulnerable just like yesterday.  

All this, and for the most part... I wouldn't change a thing b/c I believe every experience makes us who we are and at the core, I think I'm a decent person with good values.  I'm far from perfect, but I'm a work in progress and I've come a long way (still have long way to go).  It's these tragedies that make me appreciate the good times that much more.  I no longer take an uneventful day for granted.  I wish I could freeze time on those days b/c I know how quickly "status quo" can be taken from you.  

Off to read chitchat's journal.  Hope everyone is having a happy day. :)

[2asdmommy]

It's funny you mention  the "what we can handle"....I have 2 children, 3 and 5, both diagnosed with autism.  A favorite saying of us parents in the autism community is, "God only gives us what we can handle...I just wish he didn't trust me so much!"  But it's very true, you learn how much strength and resilience you have during times of crisis, and many times we surprise ourselves.  That's what makes my FNA scary, though, is wondering how a cancer result would affect my kids.  However, after reading some of these amazing stories on this board I know that even if that ends up being the case I can get through it.  Hang in there, and enjoy the good things.
Gina

[redhed87]

I have thought about it and I agree that all of our life experiences make us who we are.  I feel that the cancer diagnosis doesn't make you stronger, it shows the strength that you have already inside of you that you may not know lurks around.  I also believe that we get only what we can handle.  I have a friend that freaks out about the smallest things and is very neurotic, for lack of better words.  I told her that nothing bad would ever happen to her because she can't handle it!!!  She got a kick out of that.  When I was going through all of my tests and everything, I have a group of girlfriends that I work with, about 9, that I am super close to and I broke down one day from the stress of it all and my "neurotic" friend started to cry because she said "you're the strong one, you're not supposed to cry"- I never realized that I was considered a strong person until that moment and moments afterwards.  I have even heard my husband tell people how strong I am, of course those moments that I am crying like a baby, I don't feel that way.  Everyone needs to let it out......I am so glad you're having a good day............

[ChitChatNine]

I'd like to share what prompted me to share this with you today.

I woke up and for the first time in 3 mos I was able to walk up and down the stairs taking one step with ea. foot vs. both feet on the stairs hobbling like a chicken (no pun to the chicken club here LOL).

They did AGGRESSIVE strengthening last night at phys. therapy for the first time and I iced the ankle/foot for 20mins before bed and after taking the first 6 steps which were excrutiatingly painful as they usually are in the morning, I went down the stairs like a normal human being!!!!!!

I just wanted to share as this is progress after 4 weeks of phys. therapy .. it is a sign I needed that I haven't lost the hope!

Sorry --- emotional this morning and not so sure why ?  Maybe I'm not so used to good things happening and between this and the TSH # being good it's finally my turn to say ok, let your guard down it's going ok now?  That is a tough thing to do when being on the "roller coaster" for so long .. that is what prompted these two posts .. read TOLD YOU's post about the roller coaster ... it is up and down and not knowing that causes stress, too ... I think the roller coaster (at least for today) is running and not stuck on top or the bottom or in neutral today and it's been a long time since it's been smooth and it does feel foreign to me I must admit!

Cheryl