NEED SOME ENCOURAGEMENT PLEASE!

[froggy0936]

This disease is depressing! My last post was wanting to know if it was too soon to go back to work and I think I found the answer myself yesterday! In recap, I had TT on 12/17/09 and endo finally bumped me up to 75 mcg on Feb 13th as my TSH was 66.060. I have the other numbers in my previous posts but I left my copy of the report @ endo's @ last appt. Will get that back. I'm due to have more bloodwork around March 11th and then hopefully another bump in med. He started me off slow because I also have anxiety issues. Anyway, I do go walking everyday but it seems when I try to get out and do something (nothing strenuous) I feel so terrible with body and mental exhaustion that it really discourages me nad makes me feel worse. Yesterday, I had an appt (I had a ride thank God), then stopped in the grocery store (not for long), and went to a diner and had lunch with my friend. I would say I was gone a total of 3 to 4hrs. By the time I got home I was soooo wiped out and feeling awful it was ridiculous! It's like a Catch22...I don't want to be inactive as I feel that leads to other medical problems..and aside from my daily walk, Ive been pretty inactive besides some light housework....but when I try to get out a bit and function, I feel ten times worse! I know that with a TSH as high as mine that I'm hypo...but the only symptoms that I have of it are the extreme exhaustion when trying to do these normal, everyday activities and some brain fog. I'm not cold, constipated, no dry skin, no hair falling out, brittle nails, etc. I'm defecient in Vit D and have been taking 2,500 IU since my raise in Synthroid. Please tell me this gets better or if there is anything I can do in the meantime to function easier or when I will start to see an improvement. I'm @ my wits end and need to start getting my life back..as I was down for about a year and a half with agoraphobia/anxiety. I was just starting to get my life back and this TT is such a setback! I had TT due to Hashi's and small nodule they could not rule out as cancer. I had kidney cancer and my sister had Follicular cancer so endo thought it was best to have it removed. I know health comes first but I am single and don't have any help financially, etc so I can't be out of work forever..but just seeing how yesterday went even doing the simpliest of things was very discouraging! Please help! Thank you!!      

[froggy0936]

Thank you Barb! Sorry you have been going thru a stressful time, also. I'm glad you're hanging in there! Really, what choice do we have? It's just such a trying time and at this stage for me..I feel worse now than i did before and after TT. Hope I see some light soon! To bad it's not a condition that you know "in 6wks you'll feel better." Geez..that's even the case with open heart surgery! Lol. You at least know with other conditions kind of what's normal to feel and how long you'll be down for! It is what it is, I suppose..but this waiting and crazy things going on with your body stinks! I need a tattoo apparantly, that reads "TIME AND PATIENCE!" LOL. Thank you for your positive story and best of luck to you always!!! ....Lynda xoxo

[Barb135]

I've not had a TT, but I can tell you I've been through a lot. My initial TSH was > 55, so I was up there too.  It's taken me almost 2 years since being diagnosed Hashi/hypo, but I can honestly say that with the proper testing in order to get the proper treatment -- it does get better.

I've just been going through a very stressful time (past 2 monoths) with family issues, company, blah, blah, blah -- and if my meds were adjusted as well as they are, I would have been a basket case long before now.  I'm feeling pretty strong effects from the stress of the past couple months, but can honestly say, even at that, I feel better than I did for years.

Hang in there --- there is light at the end of the tunnel and it should get brighter as time goes on.  

[froggy0936]

I'm so glad Tuesday was good for you! Thank God you are starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel! And to think it's been almost a year since your surgery!!! I better find some patience somewhere...FAST!! Lol. I know everyone is different, believe me..but I look at my sister who also had TT and she was back to work and going to the mall, etc in a month!! Once in awhile she would say she's tired and that's it!! So, of course no one in my family can understand why I'm having such a hard time because all they see is her getting on with her life and me having such a horrible time! As I said, I know everyone is different...but I can't help but wonder the same thing and wish it was like that for me!! It's funny how people who haven't gone thru this have no idea what we feel like! They think that their being tired or aching is the same as how we feel and i've been tired etc, before all this and I'm sure I don't have to tell you..it is definately not the same kind of feeling! I wish you all the best and thank you so much for your reply! Take care!..........Lynda xoxo.  

[crystalthegr8est]

You poor dear! I have been there and done that and (unfortunately) I am still going through it. I had TT last year in April and am just now getting to the point where I feel halfway "normal". I had a great day on Tuesday and was able to get out of the house, go to the library, out to lunch with my husband, and then come home where I did some projects for the rest of the day. I was busy, but not overwhelmed or stressed due to what I had to do that day. I fell asleep right away that night and slept straight through the night. I was so happy at having such a great day after being without them for so long. However, and don't get discouraged here when I tell you this, I was extremely exhausted and could barely function yesterday and today is much the same, though not at the same level...it's a little better. I'm hoping that by Saturday I will be feeling much better and more like I did on Tuesday, but I'm not holding my breath because I know from experience that it might take longer. That's actually saying a lot. I've come a long way. It used to be that having one good day meant being down for two to three weeks, like peggy64 said. But I'm beginning to notice little improvements and that's better than no improvement at all. Just try to do a little bit at a time. If you find that your body is able to handle it without any adverse effects, then keep doing it for about a week or so before adding something else. It takes time, unfortunately, before you will feel and be back at your best again. Good luck and stay positive!!

[froggy0936]

You hit the nail on the head Peggy. I want my life back!!! I try to accept this situation isn't permanent..but it seems like forever since i've felt half way normal! So interesting that on my walk today i stopped in the drug store and picked up a copy of Women's World mag and it said right on the front how if your thyroid (or lack of one) isn't functioning properly that your chemistry is all screwed up and it causes depression! I believe that! Ive never really had depression..just alot of anxiety and now I cry at the drop of a hat, am moody, etc. Like I told the drs before...if I'm depressed it's because I'm sick of being sick! Going thru my kidney cancer was easier than this! They removed my kidney and I was in pain for 1 month and back to work! I read things on here saying it's been years for some people and they still don't feel good. I feel for them so much and hope the best for us all. Having these kind of problems...well how can I say it??..........*****!!!!! Lol. Sorry to be so blunt. Take care and keep in touch.....Lynda xoxo.      

[peggy64]

I wish we could just say okay in 10 days you will be back to normal, but it doesn't work like that for some of us. I have hypothyroidism and adrenal exhaustion, and I am beginning to think this is the new normal. You know?

I will feel good for a day or so, and then wiped out for a week or 2. I still can't sleep, so if you are sleeping, you are doing good. I tried all kinds of meds and nothing helped with the sleep.

I just don't know anymore....I do know, it helps me to hear that others have come a long way and have regained some normalcy, so I just keep trying to "wait it out" per say.  Acceptance of that has helped me not be so antsy, but every now and then I get aggrevated wanting my life back.

Hang in there......xxx

[froggy0936]

Thank you for responding! I've tried several different anti depressants in the past but could never get past any of the horrible side effects that come with them! lol. I am very sensitive to meds and my system just doesn't seem to like them. I do take .5 of Klonopin in the evening before bed and actually was taking a bit more before TT (never more than 1mg a day) but I weened myself down (under dr's care) to the .5 because my body feels so tired as it is..I just didn't see the sense in it. It's a weird tired, though. I don't ever take a nap..just feel exhausted on outside but keyed up on the inside. If that makes sense?? You are right in all you say about both of us having to have TT and not wanting to take any chances...I couldn't agree more. Also, I wish endo started me @ 100mcg. I know he was being cautious to the fact that I'm sensitive to meds and with the anxiety...but as I said, I believe he left me on this low dose for too long. If I started @ 100 then I would've been over the side effects or at least used to them by now. That's just my opinion. I do take brand name synthroid just so you know. Good luck to you and I hope that you continue feeling well. Thank you for your words of encouragement in what seems like a never ending saga!!  Lynda xoxo.  

[chickamin]

I had TT on feb. 4th of this year and have been put on synthroid 100. I am wondering as you said you have been dealing with anxiety and depression, were you on any antidepressants before your TT. This could have an effect on how you feel now. Before my surgery the doctors were concerned about how long I had been off the antidepressants. It is something to think about . Each day I feel I am doing better but there are times I just can't get going and am totally tired without doing a thing. But at least now my blood pressure has evened out and not all over the place like the first week plus and my T3 and T4 levels are good. I hope you do better soon. I think TT can be a shock on ones whole system and I am beginning to wonder if one ever will be able to live a normal life again, but I do believe if you needed a TT then one should be happy for what life one does gain back from it and try to look at all the good points and things gained from it. It is difficult for me to except the fact that now all that stands between me and life is one little pill, but before the TT life was pretty misserable and given a 50% chance of dieing without the TT I guess I had little to  gain by not going through with the surgery. Do I regret any of it, yes, I regret taking antidepressants and finding out later the effect they had on my thyroid. I just feel people need to be aware of all the pros and cons of anythig they take. But in your case and now mine, we have no thyroid so any thing that helps us is a pro. as life too prescious  to not do everything to keep us alive. I think one needs to do what ever they feel might help them feel better and it looks like you are trying to do just that. I was put on the 100 dose from the beginning and now doing well so maybe its just a matter of finding what dose is best for you and also I found that the levothyroxine,the sub. for synthroid,could have alot of differences in them, depending on where you get it and who makes it. My phamacist told me that there could even be slight changes in what she got as one could never be sure it would be the same as the last, so I went to the real thing , because my doctor told me even the slight changes could throw of my whole system. Just something to keep in mind.Soon as I went to synthroid I saw a real change in how I felt and the blood pressure being more stable. However I think it is different for us all so hold in there and hope for the best, I think you will do better as you find what works best for you. Good luck and best wishes