Chitchatnine...Thanks

[imedicmommy]

I just wanted to say thanks. I was reading through the posts you left for lori and it really hit home. It's been really hard since I got the pathology results. I noticed recently that when I tell people I say stuff like "they found cancer"... like it's their fault, lol. Really, I had nothing to do with it. That's a hard thing to say, "I have cancer." I make it worse by looking things up on the internet. I was looking at the American Cancer Society website, trying to figure out what stage I was but because they found it in such a weird spot it's not stageable by their standards. One of the doc's I work with says I'm going to be case study someday. He also told me to stay off the internet, but I don't think this counts! :)

Anyway thanks for the reminder to stay strong...I needed to hear too
Margie

[kipland]

I don't know yet.  I meet with the surgeon on Tuesday, and assume I will find out when/what they're going to do.  My primary doc and endo both said they'll more than likely remove the whole thyroid - which makes sense.  I'm assuming that I'll have the RAI, but I guess I don't know.  I was told it's normally 4-6 weeks after surgery.  Did you hear that as well?

[imedicmommy]

when are you anticpating your RAI?? Just curious, Mine will be done close to the end of august and I've never been hypo so I'm really wonderiing what this wiill be like. Will I be able to work etc....

[kipland]

Good thing we're all in the same boat, I guess.  At least WE know what we're talking about!!  hee hee

[ChitChatNine]

My mind self-corrected the typo as I read it .. I had to go  back and reread what you wrote as I didn't recall seeing a typo LOL!

C~

[kipland]

I like the same ones as you.  I don't care for the "flowery" or sweet scents, but the clean smalling ones.  In my bedroom right now, I'm burning "Splash of Rain" which is very nice and clean.  I also like Clean Cotton.  But my old standby is always Macintosh.  Love it......a LOT!

Glad that you found a summer stressbuster in gardening.  Definitely could be worse!!  I haven't had the energy to do any of that, but am hoping that next year is going to be a different one for me.  I used to plant quite a number of flowers around the house, but stuck with only two pots this year along with my hanging baskets.  Easier to manage, that's for sure.  Plus, this has been a very dry summer for our part of Michigan, so I would have had a lot of watering to do!!!

Oh, and WE know about your mole and it hasn't scared us away!!!  :-)  But you're right about the true friends vs. acquaintances.  I'm sure they'll stick by me even though I may not even want to stick by myself at times!  

Lori

[kipland]

Ooops!!  I meant "clean smElling ones"!!!  Oh man.....I better get off this thing and get something done.

Have a great day everyone!!!!

[ChitChatNine]

Sunwashed Linen and sedond running is Home Sweet Home along with tie for second is Autumn Wreath BUT I don't like the scents in the summer .. too icky sweet to enjoy I find ???

So the Summer Stressbuster Addiction has turned out to be perennials and gardening!!!  What a twist, eh?!  My kids tease me and tell my husband, "She is Now Addicted to Gardening Daddy!!!" .....

Cheryl

[ChitChatNine]

Being around med people, you HAD to give the gruesome details .. they processed them as clinical while you had emotional attachment as it was YOU THIS TIME and not a patient .. so sorry .. how tough ..

I can(not) just imagine and wouldn't want to be in your shoes.  Instead, I deal with non-med people (friends and acquaintenaces) who change the subject oftentimes after they don't like the answers they hear when they politely ask how I am doing.  

Only a handful of people know of my mole and better off that way .. don't want to "scare" them away LOL!!!  They have also this past 1.5yrs lived through some nasty kidney stone and gallstone issues .... they must think I'm a whack job at this point .. but if true friends, they'll stick by my side~  

That bringa bout another thing I've found thru the years,  .. friends vs. acquaintances .. they stand out apart when you go thru something like thyroid, etc.

C~

[imedicmommy]

I work in healthcare, these are people that want to know every detail and have a general idea of what is going to happen so there was no hiding anything when I went back to work! The people at work have been wonderful though and I am fortunate enough to have access to docs that can answer a lot of my questions. They can't answer all of them because not their specialty but they do try to help.

Speaking of the anger stage, I had a patient the other day that was really whining, I mean she was there for something  very minor and wanted major pain meds for it (read drug seeking), I was sooo irritated I felt like yelling at her, "I Have Cancer!!! and I'm at work today!!" I figured that would shut her up but luckily I didn't say what I wanted so I still have a job!

Now I'm to the point where I'm tired of talking about it. Tell me YOUR problems instead!

Margie

[kipland]

Oooohhhh.........I LOVE Yankee candles!!!  What's your fav?  Mine is Macintosh.  I've been burning it in my house for years.  Smells like walking through an apple orchard.  Yum.

Regarding your post, I thought I held things inside - but I don't have anything on you!  No wonder you finally broke down in the dentist chair.  I'm glad that you're doing so well dealing with it now.  It DOES help to get it out, but it stinks to say it out loud.

Thanks again for sharing your story.  Yours and others are helping me deal with this and get through it.

Have a great day!!!

Lori

[ChitChatNine]

I had to LOL bcz at least you told people you have cancer .. I avoided people at the school pickup for about 1.5 mos.  Stayed in car.  Couldn't talk about the outcome to anybody bcz I hadn't even begun to accept it.  If asked I would say, "they found some stuff ... you know how it goes, but I'm fine", etc., etc.   So, see, you have strength you didn't even know you have by saying the "C" word to others!  But I FULLY understand what you mean .. like it is somebody's fault YOU GOT the Cancer .. something outside of yorrself.

There is an ANGER stage .. once that comes for me it was all uphill from there.  Anger has to felt, released, and accepted to move on.

I DID NOT KNOW there were 5 or 6 stages to grieving about Cancer .. no matter how big or small I think the impact is the same, it is the am't of fear to work out that differs maybe???  For me, I had to deal with my imortality .... getting older, things breaking down, and yes, we all die.  I think you touched on this w/o realizing it when you wrote in your post about "invincible days are over, huh?". ???????  Give that some thought.  I'm not a counselor or anything like that, but I did go for about a month or so of counseling thru a non-profit cancer care program.  AND, I didn't tell anybody but one person ..... my choice ... and it helped me alot.  Now I just carry her card in my wallet .. I *know* my friends on the board are here 24/7 and you guys really know the most.

I did not have RAI so maybe part of me is fluff?  I didn't endure the physical changes many on the board went thru, but I did go thru much more emotions bcz of the secondary infectious/cyst-granuloma thing that had to be removed 8 weeks post op (it was 1/4" above the incision) and that was another cancer brush that was cleared by pathology but the wait was just awful as they thought it may have been lipoma .. but great news was granuloma .. as in big hunk of scar tissue from a cyst the was infection that nobody even knew I had and it finally grew outward and was visible .. size of 1/2 raspberry but looked like one.  So I had 2 scars to deal with ... but I'm ok with all that now, too .. but I wasn't for a very long time.  Seeing it MEANT I HAD TO TALK about it.

But now it is a part of me .. I rarely cover it up with makeup unless I choose to.  I am a true survivor but it took time to get to that point in all phases of acceptance.

Am I scared.  Yep.  Ev. 6 mos we watch the nodule on the other side.  But as my friend with Stage 4 Metatastic Breast Cancer once told me, 'THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF".  And, guess what after her 2nd round of chemo SHE IS IN REMISSION.  Although she isn't on this board I frequent her advice and post it for us.  Big or Small .. cancer or no cancer .. we all have one thing in common and that is  a dysfunctional thyroid  and we can help ea. other.

Read only good sites .. read, digest, but don't let it scare you .... there is a fine line to knowledge and obsession .. so when you begin to cross that line back away and do something else.

I've become addicted to Yankee Candles .. they force me to sit and feel good as I inhale the wonderful scent!!!

C~

[At The End of My Rope]

To funny! As I told my husband yesterday when he said to me..the people that you talk with the computer have they experienced this as well, have they done this or that..and I finally realized yes they have and some have not so reading is good for education purpose, but not to say this is going to be me. Good Luck everyone. Take CAre pam

[kipland]

Oh my gosh!!!  Just yesterday, I was talking to my mom and sharing some of my worries with her about all of this.  I was telling her about this website and how nice it is because there are tons of people out here who have been through this and have such good advice.  I was telling her about the RAI, and how scary it is to me that you can have something like that in YOUR body, but can't be near people because of how harmful it can be to them.  She too, told me that I should stay off the internet for a while, because sometimes you read worse case scenerio, and it may scare me more.  Yes, but I'd rather go in to this with eyes wide open, instead of not knowing.  I'm with you......this site doesn't count as far as where to stay away from.  I'd be a basket case without it!!

Your comment cracked me up about "they found cancer".  You know, the hardest part is accepting that this is in MY body.  I guess my invincible days are over, huh?  Cancer is just such a nasty word, because we seem to relate it to pain, suffering and death.  Like I had to explain to my 17 year old son when he cried about it.......cancer is just "cells gone wild".  He's just like me though.  After I explained everything to him, he had these big fat tears streaking his cheeks and I hugged him and told him I was going to be okay.  He said "But you have cancer!!".  Nasty, nasty word.

I'll be able to stay strong with the advice from the people out here, that's for sure.  Thanks to everyone!!

Lori