When I had my 1st kidney stone, I kept getting diagnosed with UTI's. My symptoms were the same as yours. Ask for an IVP test. This is a series of x-rays of the urinary system with dye contrast. I can't believe the Dr. hasn't thought of this yet. I am sorry to hear about your son, but depression is very unlikely to cause these symptoms. Post back after you've seen your Dr. and let us know what came of it.
so sorry for your loss. Kidney stones I beleive can cause the blood in urine to show up. But if you are not currenlty going to a urogilist. Go to one they are specfic for the entire urinary tract area and will look into kindey/tract/bladder much for effectively. Depression does not cause what you have. Only the loss of your son does. So please go to a uroglist and let them look into you. My sister was constantly being diagnosed with blood in urine and they kept saying kidney/urinary tract infection. finally went to urogilist who did a bunch of testing. It turned out to be a fibroid attaching to her bladder which kept making that happen. All is well and you will be too.