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adoption or keep baby?
No rude, ignorant comments, but i'm 15 and pregnant, not even half way through with high school. Boyfriend left me. Should i keep the baby or put him/her up for adoption? The selfish side of me is saying keep the baby, and prove everybody wrong but i am very young. I need advice, keep or put him/her up for adoption.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hopefully you've made a choice now. There are three choices all are good ones and you should pick the best one for you. peace
Given your age, it will be really difficult for you to raise your child alone, unless you get your parents help. So I think the best of choice for you and your baby will be to give your baby up for adoption.
Ditto specialmom 100%!! I agree with her advice completely.
I was adopted, and grew up knowing a lot of other adopted children (by chance), I can tell you that I never knew ONE of them to feel as though they weren't wanted. Most people I've met (including myself) felt so blessed, and SO thankful to the b-mom for making such a hard decision, so that I would have the best shot at life. I couldn't be more thankful than that. I was a "chosen" child, not a discarded one. That's how I genuinely feel, and I think that's more the norm than the preconceived notion that adopted children feel lost or like they were thrown away. Especially in this day and age, it's not easy to adopt, there are rigorous processes couples must go through in order to be approved, including being able to show that they can financially care for the child.
Blessings to you, please turn to trusted adults and professionals if you need to to help make this decision.
I was adopted, and grew up knowing a lot of other adopted children (by chance), I can tell you that I never knew ONE of them to feel as though they weren't wanted. Most people I've met (including myself) felt so blessed, and SO thankful to the b-mom for making such a hard decision, so that I would have the best shot at life. I couldn't be more thankful than that. I was a "chosen" child, not a discarded one. That's how I genuinely feel, and I think that's more the norm than the preconceived notion that adopted children feel lost or like they were thrown away. Especially in this day and age, it's not easy to adopt, there are rigorous processes couples must go through in order to be approved, including being able to show that they can financially care for the child.
Blessings to you, please turn to trusted adults and professionals if you need to to help make this decision.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there, your comment that you don't think you're fit to be a parent really says a lot. Then, it's definitely not a good idea to have a child. It's hard work and the greatest responsibility there is. Being selfish, wanting to prove everyone wrong, etc. aren't good enough reasons to keep the baby. The child deserves a home that is ready for him or her with parents fit to do the job. That' just my opinion. And the only reason why I say you may not be ready is that you yourself pretty much say so. Deep down, I think you know what you should do. Don't allow pride or stubbornness get in the way.
Then when you are ready, you can have a child that you've planned and are ready to handle. Stay in school and become financially independent so that you don't have to depend on others to live. Then when you are in a stable relationship, have a child.
This is just my opinion and given only because you've asked.
Adoption is a great choice. If you choose to keep the baby, then you must get a plan together for how to handle all that comes with it. Plenty of young people do it although it is really a hard way of life. peace and good luck to you
Then when you are ready, you can have a child that you've planned and are ready to handle. Stay in school and become financially independent so that you don't have to depend on others to live. Then when you are in a stable relationship, have a child.
This is just my opinion and given only because you've asked.
Adoption is a great choice. If you choose to keep the baby, then you must get a plan together for how to handle all that comes with it. Plenty of young people do it although it is really a hard way of life. peace and good luck to you
Being the mother of a 16 year old, my heart breaks for you. No matter what you choose it will affect the rest of your life. Be smart about your decision. Best of luck.
You can alway do an open adoption so you can see the baby grow dont be ashamed to give your baby a better life and your self at your age you have a lot of years to grow up and have a family when the time is right talj to an adoption counselor and ignore the ignorant people on here
I had my baby girl two weeks BEFORE I turned 15. I no u can do it and you won't be leave how much their little faces make u grow up n be a great mom. Always focus on what's best for your baby and not u and you will do great. I had the same feelings and I was told the same thing "you had sex you pay" and that it was my choice (I knew I would be a single mom) I could never have imagined how she would change me. She's 3now and I have challenges still however I wouldn't trade my life for the richest "kid free" persons in the whole world! I am now married to a wonderful man and we are having a baby boy. So I no it will be hard but it can be done if you always put your baby 1st and the happy moments with him/her will be better than any other memory you can think of!
It's all up to you! If you think deep down inside you'll be Okay with living your life while your baby is in a adopted home do it. I wanted an abortion at first but then I realized I can't live my life knowing I made that decision! It's ultimately up to you. & forget what everyone else thinks I know a girl that had a baby at 14 with no help from the child father & that baby is now 2
im not gonna say "do what you think is best, because you asked for advice on what to do, so I'm sure you dont know, but honestly I think you do know what to do with that, blessing. whether its to keep em or give them to a family whod love em, in the end, its your choice. You are young(so am I) but there are many young mom's that make it. and there are many young moms that have failed. simply by choice. so you had sex at a young age, big whoop, I'm sure the girl telling you not to did as well. she likes to "know it all" on many post yet asks for help a lot. don't worry a put her;) but anyways. many teens have sex. many teens get pregnant, its sad but honestly, if you can do it, do ya thang:) so what if you need help? we ALL need help. we just need to humble ourselves to realize it. id like to see one lady on this site that DOESN'T need help. that lady doesnt exist. dont stress the hate. do what you think is best. I Think you can do it....but if you know you cant, then I praise you for givinf that baby a chance at lifem that alone is very mature. keep your head up mama
Do whatever you think will be best for the baby. There is always open adoption which means the baby will still know you and keep in contact. Or if you really want to keep or baby and you have a lot of support do that. Either way your child will know you made your choice out of love.
Obviously your very open, and understand the fact that you messed up. Yes maybe you shouldnt have had sex, but it happened.
Remember if ypur old enough to "have" sex you should be old enough, and mature enough to hve a baby.
But, truth is your still a baby ypur self. There are plenty of families out there that will let you be very much apart of there lives. Like you said, you have no job, car, baby daddy. And not finished with highschool. Proceeding would be a HUGE possibility of giving that baby a life you cant take care of. Although people have done it. That doesnt mean its going to be perfecr for you. A baby needs and strives for attention day and night. YOU will be the person in charge and you have to protect, feed, cloth, and make sure they meet there needs. Includeing dr apps, long nights of screaming.
Personally i LOVE being a mother. i got pregnant at 16, and turned 17 a week after having her. I was NEVER sheltered as a child and knew reality. and had not one clue is to what it took to be a mother. i do know the consequences were...
·dropped out to care for my 1year old and father
·Worked 6different on the side jobs and one part time grocery store job
·attended school(before dropping out)
·lost EVERY and i mean EVERY friend that i wven talked to in highschool...
Because well who wants a friend that has responsibility, who wants a friend that cant always hang out, drink, party. Nothing. It was all over.
·i had an extreanly had pregnancy, to where me or baby could have passed.
·8months of sweatting, hurtinf, swelling, dr appointments, uti's, PAIN, false labor, early labor PUKING lost almost 30lbs before gaining weight. And my pre pregnancy weight was 125....
Pregnancy is not always fun and cute, and even when ladies put it off as that they still have cons..
There are A MILLION AND 1ups to being a mother. But your mind and heart has to be there. I swear its the best thing thats happened to me, i now have a boy on the way, husband and a home. But i had more schooling, and relied on myself not my family.
Id say, keep your youth. And find that baby a home that will be able to give him/her verything they want and more. Because nothinf hurts worse then watching your friends walk across stage and there so proud, parents crying. And your there, with a baby. This is suppost to be the MOST proud moment of your life at 18... but proud because YOUR CHILD maybe smiled, talked, walked, or went potty on there own for the first time.
Please take everything i said under concideration because YOU made a bed that, your baby has to sleep in.
(: its really nice to know there are kids out there that recognize when they made a mistake. And DIDNT just say "abort" it. Message me if you EVER need advice or help. Any one of us ladies are willing to help you.
Remember if ypur old enough to "have" sex you should be old enough, and mature enough to hve a baby.
But, truth is your still a baby ypur self. There are plenty of families out there that will let you be very much apart of there lives. Like you said, you have no job, car, baby daddy. And not finished with highschool. Proceeding would be a HUGE possibility of giving that baby a life you cant take care of. Although people have done it. That doesnt mean its going to be perfecr for you. A baby needs and strives for attention day and night. YOU will be the person in charge and you have to protect, feed, cloth, and make sure they meet there needs. Includeing dr apps, long nights of screaming.
Personally i LOVE being a mother. i got pregnant at 16, and turned 17 a week after having her. I was NEVER sheltered as a child and knew reality. and had not one clue is to what it took to be a mother. i do know the consequences were...
·dropped out to care for my 1year old and father
·Worked 6different on the side jobs and one part time grocery store job
·attended school(before dropping out)
·lost EVERY and i mean EVERY friend that i wven talked to in highschool...
Because well who wants a friend that has responsibility, who wants a friend that cant always hang out, drink, party. Nothing. It was all over.
·i had an extreanly had pregnancy, to where me or baby could have passed.
·8months of sweatting, hurtinf, swelling, dr appointments, uti's, PAIN, false labor, early labor PUKING lost almost 30lbs before gaining weight. And my pre pregnancy weight was 125....
Pregnancy is not always fun and cute, and even when ladies put it off as that they still have cons..
There are A MILLION AND 1ups to being a mother. But your mind and heart has to be there. I swear its the best thing thats happened to me, i now have a boy on the way, husband and a home. But i had more schooling, and relied on myself not my family.
Id say, keep your youth. And find that baby a home that will be able to give him/her verything they want and more. Because nothinf hurts worse then watching your friends walk across stage and there so proud, parents crying. And your there, with a baby. This is suppost to be the MOST proud moment of your life at 18... but proud because YOUR CHILD maybe smiled, talked, walked, or went potty on there own for the first time.
Please take everything i said under concideration because YOU made a bed that, your baby has to sleep in.
(: its really nice to know there are kids out there that recognize when they made a mistake. And DIDNT just say "abort" it. Message me if you EVER need advice or help. Any one of us ladies are willing to help you.
You do what feels right in your heart. Nobody should even try to persuade you one way or another. It's your decision. I suggest goin to an adult who you truly trust and seek out some advice or even go to a pregnancy crisis center. Good luck, girly.
I agree ^^
Thank you! and will do.
Keep your.baby its alot off teenage parents it here that are not with their child's father... you don't need him n if he left knowing you are pregnant then honestly you're better off without him!!! Mistakes happens trust me ik was 16 when I.had my first child n I could never have thought.about aborting him or give him up for adoption!!!! Ik there's someone in your family.who will help support u n your baby the way that my mom did!!!!! This baby is a blessing from God if he put you in this situation trust me he,ll help you threw it !!! Just take it one step at a time!!! Your little one afterall should motivate you.to finish school I.Did it and so can.you keep your head up babe!!!!
your very welcome hun ! ♡♡♡♥ (:
thank you
Good luck to you and im sure everything will work out fine ... dont listen to that girl on here because clearly shes ignorant.. and congrats on the new baby♥
I don't see it as a mistake. Since you clarified that then maybe you should keep your baby. Its so hard to give advice because I don't want to lead anyone on the wrong path. Both options are so life changing in very different ways. If you are committed then you should have no problem being a wonderful mother. I know thirty year olds who are terrible parents. Age isn't the issue. It's all about mindset.
I don't want to keep the baby just to prove people wrong. i am very young and YES i made a mistake, so now i suffer tje consequences. i wanted to finish school first but i can handle it. Will do online school and. Find a job. God wouldn't give me anything i couldn't handle after all :)
I'm 16 was 15 when I got pregnant.I don't speak to my son's father.But I'm gonna keeps boy.It really just depends on if you can make the commitment and have the emotional support I guess.I'm doing online classes for the rest of my schooling so I can stay home with my son when he gets here.Whatever choice you choose.Goodluck.
My little sis is Preg now at 18 and is giving hers up because she wants her daughter to have the best shot at life....I had my first at 18 and now he is 4 and expecting his brother in 24 days...it's really up to you
im pretty sure she saying she would ALSO like to prove ppl wrong , the first thing most ppl say when they see a pregnant teen is " oh , she can't do it " . but I see where you're coming from
Sorry if this comes off the wrong way but if the only reason you want to keep your baby is to "prove people wrong" then I would suggest adoption. Adoption can provide a home with financially stable and a two parent household. I'm in no way saying its bad for a single parent to raise a baby but if I had the option during my childhood I would have wanted two parents. Sometimes adopted children never even look for their biological parents and if you spend your time finding a good home for your baby with people you trust chances are your child will still be happy even if they do want to look for you. But I have to say don't take advice from strangers about a life changing decision like this. It is your choice to make and only yours. If you do chose to keep this baby make sure you're ready for everything that comes with being a mother.
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