Anxious that I will never recover

  I'm really nervous about my next appointment with my pain management doctor. I have to tell him I have a new area of pretty severe pain (I have RA) and ask him to change or  increase my pain medication. . I'm so afraid about the outcome and worried that I will have to continue living with 24 hour pain. I also take Humira but it hasn't helped.
I also have really decreased mobility over the past few weeks due to this illness; I worry that soon I won't be able to walk or shower myself.
I haven't slept well since my symptoms got worse, all I can think about sometimes is when I used to bathe and dress my elderly patients; back when I could still work I was a nurse. I'm so scared that will be me soon, except I'm barely 30.  

I guess really what I mean is, it's been 2 years since starting treatment and I have only gotten worse: I don't see anything good in my future, and that scares the hell out of me.
Thank you anyone for listening.

[brice1967]

Being a nurse, I am sure that you've shopped your diagnosis around to more than just one doctor.  If you have not, consider doing it at once.  Look for someone who specializes in RA and it's management.  Something else to look into, and you have the internet right at your finger tips is integrating eastern/holistic/homeopathy into your pain management.

Myself, I do not have RA nor am I a doctor but I have found some relief with some of my conditions with eastern medicine and dietary changes.  It's all worth looking in to, and you've got the best key for starters.

I'd start journaling all of your symptoms, feelings, pain, diet.... time of day you feel the pain, time you notice a change in your feelings, and when and what you eat.  All of this can potentially be an issue, and if a few changes can be made to enable you to find some peace, it would be well worth it.

Good luck.

[Nikodicreta]

Hey Evelyn,
Welcome to the forum.
Good comments from brice1967.
Sorry to hear about your suffering.
I'm very big on holistic and alternative therapies.
A great book to read is "The New Arthritis Cure" by Bruce Fife,N.D.
Anybody suffering from arthritis should have this book.
I offer Hypnotherapy among other  of Holistic, Eastern and Alternative Therapies that I use.
In my "Fibro" group- ongoing sessions and meetings - Hypnotherapy combined with a specific to fibro and RA diet has produced excellent results for most!
Post again or pm me directly if you want more specific info.
Take care,
Niko