4 Year Old Son Refuses to Poop

[Hunters_mommy29]

I read some of the other questions, but think this is a little different.
After an incident at daycare that is still unclear, my son now refuses to poop after being fully potty trained for about 6 months.  We know that he went in his pants and some comments were made such as "That's icky.  That's gross."  He will let a little slip and then hold off--causing him to need multiple underwear changes throughout the day.  He has now started going in his sleep.  I have watched him and he is truly unconcsious while pooping.  He doesn't even wake up when his pants get changed.  To make matters worse, he is also refusing to eat anything but bread and butter, apple juice and milk.  We have tried suppositories, laxatives, bribery, and nothing seems to be working.  Please help.  He is not the same child.  All of his energy is spent on holding in his bowel movements, so he refuses to play.  He only takes part in sedentary activities so he can control himself.  When I ask him why he won't go, he has told me everything to that his tummy hurts to he is scared.
We have been encouraging him and asking him every day if "today is the day?".  He always says yes.  Lately, he has begun ignoring us any time we bring it up.  I have not made a big deal out of him going in his sleep.  I am just happy that he is going at all at this point.  What can we do to help get him back on track?  Thank you!!!

[ricksan75]

Ok. My nephew is four and still poops his pants and will sometimes use toilet. I just found out he used toilwt and reached inside and grabbed hand fulls and threw it on thw wall smearing it in .  Urinating in his brothers room and thwn his parenta room because he got in trouble for his brothers room.  I know this is acting out. Anyone have suggestions besides seeing a psych.  Seems like something deep seeded to me

[nopoopoo]

A related discussion, 4 yr old who holds her poop in was started.

[momcaresx2]

A related discussion, my 6 year old son is too rough with children at recess was started.

[christinepil]

My daughter does not hold her poop. But she is so extremely constipated right now. We have done a pediatric laxative,  MOM, and prunes. She was still unable to go and could not walk or lie down without crying from pain. We took her to the ER and they gave her a suppository and a enema and still no results. She has sat on the potty a couple times.and pushes with all her might, but nothing....what do I do know?

[deesmommy30]

A related discussion, my son refuses to "poop" was started.

[mara2000]

A related discussion, 11 yr. old having trouble pooping was started.

[Lori5]

sorry - I spelled it wrong:
www.aboutencopresis.com

[Lori5]

I found a wonderful website - everything you ever wanted to know and more....
www.aboutencompresis.com
They have a great forum going with so much advise.  It's been extremely helpful to me...

[poopx3]

I am so relieved to find this website.  I have 3 kids pooping in their pants!!!  Well, my 4 1/2 month old is allowed.  My 3 years old REFUSES to poop in the the toilet.  I let her go in a pull-up to not stress her out or else she would just hold it and I would have the same problem as my 5 year old........My 5 year old has the distended bowel, and has had for months now.  She's on Miralax everyday and seems to do the trick.  My doctor told me to hold off on extra fiber for now.  I'm hoping to get her off the Miralax and onto more natural stuff in the next little while.  I think I forgot to give it to her the other day because she's been holding it the last few days and complaining that it hurts and today..... let's just say I've been in the bathroom at least 10 times this morning cleaning up smears.  I've been putting a liner in her underwear which catches the worst of it.  another problem is her skin down there is so red and excoreated it's been agony for me to clean her up.  I had to keep her home from school today because of this.  I feel like I'm up to my elbows in poop.  It's so hard to be patient and because I've already been dealing with this for months, I don't see an end in sight.

[Hailey'smom]

molly's mom- The milk of mag. gives ger very loose stools. But she can't hold it in. we have been on the miralax for 1 week and she is now pooping regularly. Normal size~something I have never seen her do before. I have been giving her slightly less than half a capful because she was having explosive diarrhea. But my doctor only gave me a months prescription of the miralax~ I had to beg for it. The milkof magnesia is safer she says, you can take it for a year. It is gross and kids hate it. the miralax is tastless. I would love to hear from Mom's who have kids on mirlax and how it is working long term.
***@****

[Lori5]

I understand that it's not their fault and that they are just plain scared to poop (I would be if I had a bowel movement the size of theirs)  But what I don't understand is when people say they don't have the sensation to poop.  My son will run into the other room and hide, squeeze his butt cheeks together, cross his legs etc. just to hold it in.   Doesn't that mean that he is feeling the sensation?

[momof3boys]

***********EVERYONE PLEASE BE VERY PATIENT*******************

I BELIEVE THE KEY IS TO FIND THE RIGHT FIBER SUPPLEMENT (for my son it is 1/2 t. benefiber 1x/day in his juice) TO KEEP THE STOOL SOFT AND YOU WILL HAVE TO ASK THEM TO SIT ON THE POTTY AT LEAST 1X DAY FOR 5-10 MIN.

***THESE CHILDREN DO NOT FEEL THE SENSATION OF HAVING TO POOP.
***THEIR COLONS ARE SO LARGE & FULL OF STOOL AND IT LEAKS OUT.
***THIS IS WHY THEY HAVE SOILED UNDERWEAR SO MANY TIMES A DAY.
***EVENTUALLY THE COLON WILL SHRINK BACK DOWN AND THEY WILL
   REGAIN THE SENSATION.
***ACCORDING TO MY SON'S GASTROENTEROLOGIST THIS PROCESS CAN
   TAKE UP TO A YEAR FOR THEM TO REGAIN SENSATION.
***THAT IS WHY WE MUST BE PATIENT - THIS IS NOT THEIR FAULT!

OH, THIS IS CALLED "ENCOPRESIS".

[GrantsMom]

My son is three, almost four (in Jan) and was potty trained over the summer.  He has always had "potty issues" since he was two and we introduced the potty.  When he was two, we didn't make a big deal of it, but he started holding it...mainly I think because he was not ready and putting soo much pressure on himself to poop on the potty when he just simply wasn't ready to do so.  He got into a holding it pattern and we had to give him an enema after five days of holding it.  He fought us physically with this but we had no choice!  After the first enema, he still continued to hold it for a couple hours. So, we gave him another...until he finally pooped (ALOT) It had to have hurt as it was really large.  Since then, we backed off and started giving him Myralax, which has helped with the holding a bit.  He still tries to hold it for a day or two, but by the third day, he usually goes ahead and poops in his pull up.  Finally, over the summer he was totally trained, pooping and peeing in the potty normally.  He got set back after a death in our extended family, which the only way he was affected was that I was completely busy with trying to help my family with arrangements, etc. and I wasn't around that week to keep him on schedule.  Since then, he's back to his old ways.  He refuses to go on the potty and raises a huge fit when I ask him to go sit on the potty when he seems to have to go....HELP!  I feel like it's never going to happen and I just don't know what else to do....

[Lori5]

To Koom -
I would definatly talk to the mother regarding this issue.  You see by all of our postings that until we find this website, we all feel alone and very frustrated.  If you let her know that there is a name for this and that she isn't alone, she may be able to cope a bit better and my read some ideas that could be helpful in these postings.

[dad999]

We have a 4 year old son who is holding it in and won

[koom]

I forgot to mention that I heard through the 'grapevine' that dad this too when he was little and outgrew it when he was almost in his teens!

[koom]

I'm an educator in a daycare.  I work with the preschool (4 and 5) year olds.  I am stumped with one of the children in my group.  He will soil his pants anywhere from once to three times a day.  When he soils his pants at school, mom is called to change him.  Everyday he comes in from school smelling and the other children say he "stinks" and do not want to play with him.  I encourage him to wipe himself and offer wipes to get the smell off of him however, he will still have more 'accidents'.  I asked him if he knows he's pooping and sometimes he say's no and other times he say's he doesn't know.  I've seen him sit, playing with a toy and suddenly he smells.  I've tried not making a big deal of it to offering stickers for jobs well done (using the potty).  At times he gets so frustrated and cry's but when I encourage him to clean himself up, he complains he hates to bend down (to take off his shoes), to why am I alway's checking him.  I know his self esteem is affected and that's what I didn't want him to have to go through.  Mom is aware obviously and I think she is frustrated but how do I deal with this problem?
Help!

[Lori5]

I read that honey is a natural laxative and was wondering if anyone has tried that.  I don't know if it's enough to do the job but I feel much better giving my child something natural...let me know of anyone has had success with it.

[molly's mom]

I have 2 questions for Hailey's mom...did you try Miralax and if so, what were the results?  And does she have diarrhea or solid poops with the Milk of Mag?  We're on Miralax and her poop is usually pretty soft.  I'd rather her have more "normal" ones.  Thanks!  Amy

[Hailey'smom]

I gave my 4 yr. old the new concentrated strawberry Milk 0f Mag. I gave her the 7-11 age dose and 6 hours later she pooped. she usually spits it out...I bribbed her with a can of soda..she drank her medicine, though. The milk of mag. always works if I give her the biggest dose, but she hates the taste. If she would just take it everyday pooping would not be an issue!!!It is the only medicine her doctors recommend. You can safely take it daily for at least a year. when she was on Enulose, Lactulose, etc. she had "failure to thrive". she is now healthy and has energy.

[Lori5]

In response to Koppadopa - I read this in another website - the reason our children have such huge bowel movements is because the instine actually streatches because they are holding so much.   Once our issues are resolved and they start pooping on a normal schedule - they will shrink back down to size -

[Lori5]

Please tell me what I am doing wrong!   I followed alot of your advice and am still having problems.   I have a 4 year old son who I had problems potty training - same thing, peed great, wouldn't poop.  After about 8 months of this, we finally succeeded.   He was fully potty trained for about 3 or 4 months w/o incident.   When he switched rooms at daycare (moved up to the next level) and started soccer instead of swimming, he started holding it again.  He has been doing this since mid September.  It was so bad that I took him to the ER on Sunday and ended up giving him a supistory when we got home - which produced one of those colossial poops that we all talk about.  On Tuesday, after reading all of your comments, I gave him an anema which produced yet another colossial poo.   So yesterday, again another anema just to makes sure everything was all cleaned out - which produced a normal sized poop - but staining of the underwear for the rest of the day.

I have also been giving him the Oil every night in his drink at dinnertime.   Even with the laxitive - he just holds it more - more times a day and spends more time concentrating on holding it.  Yesterday he called me a 'bad woman for giving him that medicine'.  It was just awful....I'm at my whit's end with all of this - HELP!

[Hailey'smom]

My 4 yr. old daughter has had this problem since she was only 9 months old. I have tried everything all the other parents here have tried...meds., children's hosptal, diet. She has no accidents but if I wouldn't give her Babylax every 2 days she would never poop. I really feel like I may go crazy with this. I have always been a stay at home Mom, I have no other children, my life is consumed my poop!!I will welcome any advice or new treatments: ***@****

[koppadopa]

i am new to this forum and found it out of god awful depseration. it is nice to see i am not alone in this issue of the poop problems. i got on line just a few minutes ago after holding my daughter for 1 hour while she strained to release a softball sized bowel movement. this all started 5 months ago, when we had to take her out of the daycare she was in. when we found out she got in trouble for peeing on herself and was sat in the corner for over 2 hours in her wet panties and skirt. within a day or two she went from being fully potty trained to wanting a diaper or pull ups and always having accidents, and then came the poop problems, she started going 5-8 days without going and then when she would go it was be excrutiatingly painful and take a while to work out of her. we went to the doctor and they put her on miralax, i noticed a comment from another parent on here mentioning fatigue due to miralax. i noticed this too but she never had a solid bm for over 2 months, she had constant diahrea, and that never changed even with the change of the dosages and everything. i finally got fed up with her pedetrician suggesting every time i called about this, that it would take several months to get her back to normal. i took her to texas childrens hospital and they did exams and xrays and blood work all came back normal. i have an appointment wed, with the gastrenologist but i know she  is holding it and that is causing the problems, but i guess what confuses me, if our bowels are shaped a certain way and i was wondering if anyone had any insight on why my daughters are round and not long shaped like a normal bowel movement. why and how would they get this way in the bowel tract, since the bowels are not shaped like softballs, and i am not exagerating.
i do think it very well may be psychological due to something that i am unaware of at the daycare she used to be in. but i am worried that this is something more, like i am hoping she wasn;t abused or something but i have no way of finding out, she is 3 and 1/2 and it's been so long ago we moved her that i am thinking if the gi doctor can't find anything i am hoping a psycholigist might help.
any comments would be nice.