Aa
just need to vent
Im sitting here with tears rolling down my face because I feel like such a pathetic mother. Tomorrow is my birthday and I am going to be a 27 year old mother of three addict. For those who dont know about me here goes....I have been taking 1 and a half to 2 5/500 vic a day for about 11 months. I dont want to take it anymore but I am so afraid to stop. I dont want to get sick. Maybe I will fall apart, maybe I wont be able to function, maybe I wont enjoy life as much!! I start to feel motivated then I will read about someone who is so overcome by wds that they cant move. I just feel like such a loser. Im a fake. Im a coward. And I dont want to live with this monkey on my back anymore. You want to know how sad I really am....other than being petrified of withdrawls, I am afraid if I stop taking vic that I will gain weight. Even typing that Im emberessed. Thank you guys for giving me the opportunity to say how I feel.
sara
sara
I wish I could bottle the modivation I feel like now and take it with me tomorrow. After my experience with hydros, taking something else is not even an option for me. I doubt there will even be many asprins in my future=) Its a beautiful California night and for the first time in a while I really have some hope. Enjoy your evening!!!!!!!!
That's the perfect attitude to have. You can't fear what MIGHT happen. If you have to taper to make your mind accept it, then try and taper. But, I bet your withdrawals will be mild at worst. But, if they're not, THEN you can go get some medical help...maybe clonidine and a benzo to help you get through the worst. You never know, you may have an easy time with it. You never know until you try. And, if you need anything, I'm here.
YOUR SO RIGHT!!!! What have I really got to loose. I am so fearful of the unknown. I am also really afraid that I wont be ME anymore. This past year has just flown by....is it like that for everyone that takes pills? Time kind of zooming by? I cant even imagine waking up in the morning and not thinking about a pill. I think that with tomorrow being my birthday its the perfect time for a fresh start, I might as well try because I NEVER really have..ever. I have thought alot about it, mostly at night in bed when I am really down on myself but I have never just not taken that half at 8 am. Thank you for being here.
sara
sara
I think a support buddy sounds great, its nice to have someone going through the same thing with the same amount. I really think we could help one another..let me know.
You're taking a very low dosage of hydro. I doubt your wd's will be bad at all compared to many of us. Here's an idea. TRY cold turkey. You're more scared of what you think might happen than of the reality. What have you got to loose? Cut your pills in half for a few days, then just go cold turkey. If things get bad, you can resume taking them and get some help from a doc. What's it gonna hurt to try?
Hi Shama,
I'm on a day & a half of WD's from heavy Lortab use.
I'll probally be worse tomorrow. But, right now, it's OK.
I'll tell you what I've been doing. I've taken a couple of Xanax's since waking up this morning. They are the peach ones, & they are a lower dose. They have really helped. I don't like the way they make me feel, but they have helped with the nervous stomach & muscle cramps.
Plus, I have used a heating pad for my stomach & immodium for the runs.
I'm a female who also LOVES COLLEGE FOOTBALL! ROOOOLL TIDE!!
So, I needed to be awake today! LOL!
Good luck with your situation!
Let us know how you are & I will do the same.
I'm on a day & a half of WD's from heavy Lortab use.
I'll probally be worse tomorrow. But, right now, it's OK.
I'll tell you what I've been doing. I've taken a couple of Xanax's since waking up this morning. They are the peach ones, & they are a lower dose. They have really helped. I don't like the way they make me feel, but they have helped with the nervous stomach & muscle cramps.
Plus, I have used a heating pad for my stomach & immodium for the runs.
I'm a female who also LOVES COLLEGE FOOTBALL! ROOOOLL TIDE!!
So, I needed to be awake today! LOL!
Good luck with your situation!
Let us know how you are & I will do the same.
I am EXACTLY where you are. I used to be on a 75 mic Fentanyl patch every 48 hrs....was supposed to be every 72 hrs. I was able to quit that cold turkey and began taking hydros a month later. Got up to 5 d day and am now down to 2 a day and cant seem to go any lower.
I feel the same way you do. Maybe we could stay in touch and help each other achieve our goals. I think it seems a little easier if you have a person to go through withdrawals with you....missery loves company.
Let me know...I check this board several times a day...fewer times on Saturdays cause it is COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON. Saturdays do give me a little hope as the games give me some kind of distraction.
I feel the same way you do. Maybe we could stay in touch and help each other achieve our goals. I think it seems a little easier if you have a person to go through withdrawals with you....missery loves company.
Let me know...I check this board several times a day...fewer times on Saturdays cause it is COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON. Saturdays do give me a little hope as the games give me some kind of distraction.
you are taking such a low dose,that you should be ok... i am glad you found this site in time..And not like me who got up to 15 a day..i also feel like a bad mother, person, daughter etc..
i am detoxing right now and it is not easy, but better then worrying where i was going to get my next pill....tired of the chase
r2r
i am detoxing right now and it is not easy, but better then worrying where i was going to get my next pill....tired of the chase
r2r
I feel your anxietys about painkillers, even at the dose you are taking. I have been taking vicodine for roughly 4 years and alway think about quitting...I have two children also. Dont feel you are a bad mother...It is hard to admit when you need help...trust me on that. I dont have any great advise for you because I am still taking them...but I too know I have to quit...I just found out that I am pregnet...and I have terrible thoughts about withdraws and hurting the baby...I havent seen a doctor yet but will this week...its an emotional roller coaster and I HONESTLY feel your pain....everything you are worried about I worry about too...so you are not alone. Now that I am pregnant I cry all the time and feel alone...I have alway kept my addiction hidden from everyone I love,,,besides my husband, because he lives with me and knows the pain i have. I am going to quit,,,and honestly I have been on this site one day and read posts and it has really inspired me to do something....keep reading everyones advice and triumps and problems...it has helped me to feel better about the situation...just knowing you are not alone helps.
good luck
good luck
Its pretty ironic that you mentioned your hubby because mine is also an addict, he is kind of how this started (but I take full responsibility for me!!) Anyway, another thing that scares me to stop is seeing him wd. He takes alot, 10-30 a day (depending on how much he can get) so somtimes I feel so motivated then I see him loose it and I chicken out. I have tried to wean him and it dosesnt work he will tell me his is going to make his last 40 pills his weaning pills about about 4 days later they are gone and he freaking, and I wont do it anymore. I need to help me. The funny thing is that I hate the pills, to me they are the enemy and he dosent see it that way. He really has no desire to stop. Pretty crazy huh. Thank you for sharing with me.
You can do it.It is a small amount and small time. Maybe just decrease a bit.I know alot ofpeople think its so small amount why decrease.WHat I am telling you is when HubbyandI did it, I always decreased even small amounts.He would be way worse off than me. Maybe go one day without and see.As long as you keep on going down and more time between each dose. I think you could have this done by next week weaning and all. Ruthie
I don't know if you've ever seen this posted, but it's called the "thomas recipe" and since you're really not that bad it may be really good for you....I understand the wanting to do something, but what I really think (cause I do the same is that it's become a routine so you're just use to that "daily thing"
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
Thank you so much for advice. It helps. Ya the dosage is 2 5/500 a day. I am kind of ocd and I get into the habbit of things and stick to it like glue. I take half of one at 8 another half at 11 then at 1 and the last at 3:30. Sometimes I feel like I just want someone to do it for me ya know, but maybe becuase I am expecting pure hell it wont be as bad as I think. Part of me is excited for the wd because it will be the begining of the end.
So I was right about the dose,LOL sorry....... You are soooo lucky you caught it now I could only wish I never let mine get out of control like it did. As for the weight thing.....I was always under the impression that opiates make you gain weight at least it made me and I freaked I gained 4 lbs and know thats the reason, cause since i've been bringing myself down I have lost the weight.
Hey there, 1 to 2 a day is not that bad YET nip it now before it's 20 something a day...YOU our the one that has to want this.....I was chewing 3 80's of oxy a day and I started with 20's just on the weekend, I'm on day 52 now and still have to force my self to do stuff my sleep is really just now getting better so that should start to help me more...Don't worrie about the wait your life is way more important and who knows it might not even be a problem.......So flush the pills and take control of your life.....
You shouldn't get so down on yourself! I know exactly how you feel I have a 3 yr old and use to just look at her and cry. You are only taking 2 5 mg's of vicodine a day? If so thats not bad at all and you must be such a wonderful person and extremly lucky to catch yourself this early....Is that dose I asked correct?
you know what those few days of withdrawals are soooo worth the life you will have afterwards.i was taking about 40 10mg pills a day and i halfway detoxed in a jail cell,today i have 43 days clean and i had been taking that many for 3 yrs.i know if i can do it you can.my life is so much better now i swear you cannot imagine how good it feels to not need pills.and just so u know i was pregnant when i was detoxing in jail and i lost custody of my son temorarily so plz catch it now it can always get worse and i know you can do it-jenn
btw babys fine its a girl yay
btw babys fine its a girl yay
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