I will I have all those issues and and have found out that my bipolar and anxiety issues are both to blame so good luck maybe theres an underlying cause. keep a journal and mood tracker for your doctor. Maybe it will help find something else wrong with you. and when you have these problems the memory and putting it together gets complicated to express so keep that journal and trackers. I hope they can help find the cause for you! To think I'm a waitress and you have no idea how much it takes to get things right and Iv been doing it 10 years! p.s. adhd bipolar and panic attacks all coexist together sometimes so theres a good chance maybe you have one or more of those issues 2
I'm 16, so this is beyond me, but I can offer support. I have ADD. I fear public speaking too, I don't even like reading in front of people. I improve every time though. When I'm off my meds (Vyvanse) I have to read and re-read the same page.
Poor posture -- me too, and my posture worsens a lot when I'm stressed or feeling down. Does yours? It sounds like you have low self-esteem, I bet posture correlates with self-esteem. Might I suggest a back brace? I got a cheap one ($12) and it's slowly reshaping my posture habits. Actually, wearing the brace does changes my thought processes. Just like, if I told you to smile, you'd feel happier. If I told you to lay back, you'd be less focused. If I told you to scowl, you'll have darker thoughts. Posture works like that too. When I'm sitting up straight I feel more focused, energized, and confident.
I do know that cognitive therapy can be very difficult (that's what you described as "programs to rewire your thoughts"). But after being failed by 6 different drugs, you should probably try something different. I'm sure there's a psychiatrist for you out there. Let your friends reach out to you too, don't be withdrawn from those who make you feel better.
Hope I've helped a little. Feel free to ask.
Maybe you would feel better if your memory improved. Gingko biloba has had many double blind studies that proved it to be effective in improving short-term memory. I should know - I was in one of those studies. The results are amazing.