7 year old defiance

[larry678]

My 7 year old son talks back , says he doesn't have to listen to no one. Gets good grades has trouble keeping hands to himself. Hates homework says he will outlaw it. You tell him one thing he does the opposite . the only thing that gets his attention is a paddle or fly swatter.  Taking a adult blood pressure pill to control symptons   1 mg guanfacine. My wife and I are about crazy . This is our 3 rd son , we have a 28 and a 24 year old normal kids. Help !!!!!!

[SupermomNC]

You are not alone. My 7 year old is the same way. He is adhd, bipolar,and ODD. He is on lamictal 100mg and adderall 30 mg. They help. Maybe you need to add some more meds to your arsenal. I didn't want to do meds, but my 19 yr old was the same and I didn't medicate her and she is a high school drop out who is still defiant, had a couple small scrapes with the law so far, and is so scattered and can't manage by herself. That is why I chose a different approach. He s getting to the age now I think talk therapy is the next step for him, which I plan on starting soon. This type of child is very, very draining to say the least. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing my mind!!  Warmest Regards,
Mel

[Sandman2]

    Larry,  Thanks for the added information.  The quanfacine is prescribed for him because the doctor thinks he has ADHD.  I hope the doctor related this to you.  It has some definite advantageous over stimulant drugs.  
   But the point is that he is exhibiting classical AD/HD symptoms.   In second grade (heck in any grade), if the homework was too easy for him - he would breeze through it.  And be done with it and go on to things he likes to do.  Have you sat down with him and tried to help him?  Did you notice he seems to keep drifting off the subject?   He is having trouble with homework because the meds are wearing off at night.  From the little bit that you have written, I get the feeling that you really don't know or don't understand what AD/HD can do to a child and what the long term consequences can be if not treated correctly.  Any by that, I mean just giving a medication and not changing anything else.  If you can understand what he is going through and the reasons for it, you will not feel so crazy.  ADHD kids can drive you crazy- at least till you understand where they are coming from.  When you can began to understand what is happening in their minds, everything begins to change.  I think your doctor used good judgement in trying the quanfacine first.  But, it doesn't sound like you got much counseling to go along with the meds.  He is a pediatrician?  They usually don't have the time to do much counseling.  All studies have shown that behavioral modification therapy along with meds is the best way to go.
  The point is it sounds like you really need some more information.  I strongly suggest that you immediately order, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   It not only will explain what is going on, but will show you how to help him in school and at home - along with some very good ways to work with him to change his behavior.
  You have got to realize that he is a very smart kid who has been using his innate intelligence to get by.  That won't cut it in 4th or 5th grade.  You are going to need specific ways to help him study at night.  If you have any more questions or the need for more resources - please post!!!

[larry678]

He drags the homework out forever, He knows the answer most of the time but wants to answer it differently .He has trouble writing some numbers and letters , he will write them backwards (17 = 71 and a b is a d when its not supposed to be sometime. )  He could breeze thru it if he just followed directions , most of the answers are right infront of him most of the time . The doctors prescribed the quanfacine for him as a means to calm him down some and help him listen more, experimental for kids of this nature. He gets a little more tired but since he has started taking it he hasn't had any bad letters from school and  has had some good ones. I hope he gets out of it before he becomes a teenager or he will get in trouble with the law or be considered a bully .We are trying to get him in a special class that will be one on one. He loves to create things and draws good pictures of nature and things. He once got to go to the 4th graders class as a reward for being good and to explains to them all about volcanos  and answered their questions . I know he can do a lot of things , its just he don't like to be told to do them.

[Sandman2]

  Ya, that 6 and 7 year old age group is interesting.  Especially if they have intelligence!  Do check out the posts over on the child behavior forum
          - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Child-Behavior/show/64
  You will see that you are not the only person having this problem.  I assume you are taking the guanfacine and not him?  
   Kids of his age really need constant, immediate feedback.  The trouble with the fly swatter is that you don't want to use it all the time (I hope).  Consequently, you let things kind of slide by and build up and then boom!
  If you want his behavior to change you have to use something like timeouts that can be used immediately.  You have to use them consistently.  You have to recognize that it will take up to 3 weeks of consistent reinforcement for him to change that particular behavior.  I highly suggest that you get the book,  "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  It will give you the detail for changing his behavior.
   I am curious about his "hates homework" statement.  Do you think he hates it because he would rather be doing something else?  Or does he take a long time to get it done (because he is distracted)?  If he has  good grades, one would think he would zoom through his homework.  Has his teacher mentioned any other problems besides "keeping hands to self"?  Does he talk back to his teacher?
  Hope some of this helps.  With a bit more info, I might be able to help more.  I think its worth your time to repost this same thing on the child behavior forum to see what the folks over there think.  Best wishes.