Flashbacks

[Kelseago]

It's been 13 years since my rape and I still get flashbacks. I was doing really well. Thought I was over it. I was having sex with my husband and I guess I was being too loud so he just covered my mouth. I completely froze up. He immediately moved it realizing what he did. I told him it was ok and to finish. It wasn't ok though. I have been stuck on this for days. We have a very sexually healthy relationship and now I just can't even think of having sex with him. Idk what to do. We've been together for 11 years and he knows not to touch my face or neck during sex. I hate this feeling. Do the flashbacks ever stop?

[DFRG]

I understand this is normal. Does your husband understand what happened to you? Your husband can play a big part in your recovery of this. He can help sooth you and understand when this happens. It's important to stop though because I'd you don't you mind plays tricks on you which cause you to feel trauma all over again. Unfortunately you start associating this with your husband. If he can read the signs of a red rash on you, numbness, not answering a simple question while making love than stopping is the best thing he can do for you. A loving husband will bc he understands. Don't do it alone allow him to be the hero and help you. Be the one to initiate exploring his body that way you feel in control. Our bodies tend to freeze when we feel rushed or out of control. The more you can slow things down the better!
Hope this helps!

[Gem17]

You will always get those flashbacks until you deal with them somehow. It *****-but it will destroy ALL relatioships you have if you don't. I'm just touching the surphase of my step-brother abusing me sice I was 10. It is NOT easy. I'm here if you ever wanna talk.

[mozzy124]

sorry for my spelling mistake i was rushing
but im sure you can understand what i want to say

[mozzy124]

I know it is really hard to forget that period which happend in your life but just be comftable with your husbond and if he makes you happy just fly around that happiness!!!

[Kelseago]

Thanks for the encouragement you guys have given me.

[Jaz1989]

no. they appear and dissappear at the worst and best times. The best way is to just live life tot the fullest and when they do happen remember you have a loving husband that cares and adores you.

[specialmom]

Oh, sensitive subjects are always hard to talk about and this is about as sensitive as they come.  I encourage you to try to communicate your feelings to him and if you find that the feelings linger, a therapist may be a good idea.  They are an empathetic ear that are there to only support and encourage you.  Peace and luck

[Kelseago]

I haven't had therapy in a very long time.  I've never been good at talking about things.  I haven't even brought myself to talk with my husband since the other night.  He asks me what's wrong but I always just say nothing.  He feels my distance.  I need to get my courage up to at least talk to him.  

[specialmom]

Oh, so sorry to hear this.  I think when we are traumatized, those flashbacks can happen.  Now you can't put them out of your mind.  Do you still see a therapist (or have you ever?)?  Post traumatic stress disorder comes to mind but at the very least, working through the emotions and memories again might help you get back on track with your husband.  

I'm glad you have a loving man in your life and remember that------  he LOVES you.  Peace to you.