What should I do?

[Help88]

My 8 year old step daughter spends every other weekend at her single grandpa's house. Her mother passed away last year and now her grandpa has started calling her by her mother's name. He also has been having her sleep in bed with him  (I just found this out) and has been telling her that she should move in with him because he doesnt know when he will die. When she comes home she screams and cries and she says she doesn't know why she's crying. I'm just not sure what to do i feel like he's putting guilt on her and it's really frustrating

[JT0325]

Entirely my own opinion but I think you should keep your daughter away from him he seems not stable mentally and that's not good for someone as young as she is I wish you the best of luck

[specialmom]

This doesn't sound right, all the way around.  Why is she spending every other weekend there?  Does he have some kind of custody right?  Otherwise, I'd stop these visits and allow her to have a few hours during day light and/or supervise.  Period.  You don't want to squash the relationship but he sounds like he is stepping over the line.  He may just be a lonely old man missing his daughter but that's not fair to project onto his granddaughter of such a young age.  She needs time with friends and is probably in sports and activities that every other weekend with a grandparent isn't reasonable anymore.  This is the excuse you can use and hey, if she's not signed up for anything yet, sign her up.  lol  It's time to get her active in school things, sports, theater, dance, etc.  (if she isn't already).  

But as the living parent, you should have rights to make decisions about what is appropriate or not and absolutely the sleeping arrangement is not okay and the suggestion to move in is not okay.  I'd encourage a relationship but set strict boundaries for him.  good luck

[Help88]

Thank you for your answer...she is in sports but soccer doesn't start for awhile but cheer leading starts soon! As for her going over every other weekend, he doesn't have any rights it's more of just my husband and i not wanting to keep her from the only link she has left to her mom and trying to keep a good balance for her. But things just recently started getting difficult. She only recently has started this and that's what worries me the most because I don't understand what has changed. I don't think he would physically or sexually abuse her but I'm questioning if this is emotionally messing with her. He always showers her with gifts which I understand grandparents tend to do that but my gut just keeps telling me that something isn't right and I try to trust my gut..