When I was 10 years old, I was sexually abused by my younger cousin that I see almost every day and did at the time as we lived in the same house. When it eventually stopped (after a few months) I started sleeping on a mattress on my grandmothers floor because I was too scared to sleep beside him. ( my grandmother at the time had a partner and my parents house consisted of verbal abuse being thrown back and forth from each other ) this continued for some time and I began to ‘forget’ what had happened. When I went into secondary school, the memories from those nights effectef every day as I could no longer ‘forget’ what happened. I began self harming. My peers, that are still my friends today, found out. Most of my friends also had metal illnesses I was unaware about at the time and it made me feel worse for doing it... I felt full of guilt as they now had to deal with my problem (I never told them why I started and they respected that). Pain killers also became a progressing problem and I began taking a relatives anti-depressants to help me ‘forget’... it seemed to work for the year I continued this and then a friend found the pills in my bag and threatened to tell the vice-principal. I freaked out and told her I’d stop (I still didn’t tell her why) but I never did. There were other bad habits I’ve picked up since then to stop taking pills ( I’ve been 8 months clean and counting ). Suicide attempts were also present in the years I’ve been in secondary school. This was a time I decided to ask for help, so I went to the school councilor. He wasn’t much help and after 2/3 sessions, he stopped calling me from class. (This happened last year(2017)) I don’t know what I should do and need someone’s advice. Although I know the boy who did this to me will not get punished. A slap on the hand is about as much as I expect, but can anyone help me... it’s urgent