The one

[ilovehim93]

My friend and boyfriend are both heroin addicts, the friend has been on it for probably a year and he shoots up at least 8 times a day. He was recently diagnosed with Hep C from using dirty needles im assuming. My boyfriend has been on it for about 4 months, he doesnt shoot thought, thank God. They both are the most hard headed people i've met as of now. They used to be the nicest teens, but the heroin took its toll. They argue every single day, and its always about dope. And now matter what i tell them, and how hard i try and talk to them, its just like they don't are. Im terrified, i mean; im only 16 and i feel like im in the middle of this horrible situation. I'll ask my boyfriend to quit for me, and i thought he would but no. And when i cry about it he gets mad at me. I just dont get why they dont understand.. The friend has already been through a detox, he relapsed, so theres no helping him, he's going to die in the next 5 years im guessing because the hep c and the heroin everyday. But my boyfriend has only been using for about 4 months, and i want help. But he will NOT go into rehab, so am I stuck?; Or are there other ways of help? These poor kids are only 17 and 18, and i dont know what im gonna do when i loose both of them to this evil drug. I feel like i could seriously write a novel right now.. But i would just like as much information as possible, thanks for your time.

[looking4help2010]

there is saying that goes something like this:" you can't help someone who isn't ready to help himself." it is going to take something to really knock them on their butt to make them want to quit. you have the choice to either accept their addiction and continue or you have the choice to walk away. either way someones going to get hurt and it isn't an easy choice but you can't make them do anything they aren't ready for. if they want to quit it will have to come from them because they want to and are ready otherwise they will always relapse.

[allmymarbles]

You are only 16. This is only your first love, and you think that love comes but once. Not true. There is someone more worthwhile in your future.

You, personally, can do nothing to help him. You might want to speak to his parents. They may be unaware of his addiction.

In any case, leave him. He and his friend are not a good environment for you. Corruption can be catchy.

[kenneltech]

No, your not stuck, you can leave, fortunately for you.  THEY'RE STUCK!  Your boyfriend will not "change" for you, and you can cry and stomp your feet all you want, but you can't make people change, they have to want to change, you can only change yourself.  He obviously isn't ready to get off heroin, hasn't been to the bottom of the barrel yet, when he does, he might do something about it.

As for this other guy, he's not gonna get off of it, and no rehab is gonna help him if he goes back to the same lifestyle he was in before he went into rehap.  When he got out, he went right back to his old friends who were still using, WRONG!!  It's an entire lifestyle change, addition is a LIFESTYLE, he has to drop all his old drug buddies, stay away from the places he used to hang out at, and change his whole life.


Saying that he will die in a few months is probably not accurate.  I have been living with Hep c for 30 years and it is still at stage one.  But, that depends on how he is treating his body, which is not good.  I doubt he'll be dead in 5 months, but if he doesn't get straight, he'll be dead within a few years, and it's NOT a pleasant way to die.  And, they aren't going to give him a transplant if he's a user, livers are too hard to get ahold of and they won't "waste" one on an addict.

You may "love" this guy, but the best thing you can do for your own life is to get the hell away from them both, they need to grow up and they need help. You are co-dependent and are enabling them by being their friend, that's like letting them know that you think it's alright.  You may ***** about it, but you aren't going anywhere.  

Time to get up, get out, and get a life away from that mess, and then pray for them both.

[margypops]

well you could always tell him you will be back once he is detoxed and clean .. but leave first then see what happens ..I agree with the other posters on here Good Luck

[jrobertson20]

I know this is a hard situation but addiction is a terrible terrible beast.  It makes people do things that are not safe.  He is addicted and doesn't want help.  Some addicts have to hit rock bottom and get a good scare before they wake up and realize they want help.  That being said a lot of addicts relapse and fall down a path not so good again.  But there is hope.  If somebody really wants the help to get clean they can remain that way.  He has to want the help for the detox to work.  If he does not want it he is more likely to go back.  He has to want it for himself.  I know it hurts you to see this happening and if you have never been addicted to something it's really hard to understand.  I personally can say that I never have had that problem as well but have had family members addicted to drugs and alcohol which tear relationships and families apart.  Some had to go to jail a few times in order to straighten out and some did.  My husbands uncle is addicted to things as well and no matter what happens to him (he's been to jail countless times) it doesn't change him.  He doesn't want to change.  It's hard to sit back and watch the ones you love do something that is so hard and harmful to their bodies.  It's hard to understand the why's and why they can't stop if they know it's breaking your heart and they claim to love you.  He is addicted and may be scared of what may happen when he detoxes.  Or maybe he just simply isn't ready yet.  The best thing you can do is keep encouraging him to stop but don't do it in a nagging way.  Unfortunatly you need to evaluate your life as well (you are still very very young) and make sure this is what you really want.  My personal opinion is to leave him.  Maybe it's what he needs to want to change but it's also what is the safest and best thing for you to do.  You are young and deserve to have somebody that makes you laugh not cry and worry.  You can still be there for him as a friend but you need to do what is healthy and safe for you.  Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck and I hope things work out for you.

[ConnieG]

I think you should leave.  If he did decide to quit he has to do it for himself.  No one can quit for someone else, they have to have the drive in themselves.  Leave.  Get yourself safe and healthy and surround yourself with safe and healthy people.  

[RockRose]

Now's as good a time as any to learn about addicts.  What you've learned is that their addiction is much more important than anything else,  including your relationship.

Walk away.   You don't need this.