Anyone been in a similar situation?

Question

Looking to see if anyone has any experience/advice. I am a little over a month clean (feels good to say that) anyways will try and make a long story short. My wife and I abused pills for most of our marriage. We tried multiple times to get clean together but continued to fail. As time passed lies and deception built up beyond repair. We made the decision to separate and pursue divorce. We have 2 kids, a lot of the reason we stuck it out so long. I made the decision to quit because these kids deserve a clean dad. So I found out that my wife has started using cocaine now and having male friends over to our house while I am away on business. We are sharing the residence currently as we are in just in the beginning of the divorce process. She has threatened me with custody issues in the past. Now that I have this new evidence my concern is not to use this against her but to protect my kids while I am away. Should I try to get temporary custody? What about my history? Will that be frowned upon even though I am clean now and could pass a drug test? I have no intentions of taking my kids away from their mother. I just want her to get help and I don't want her running off with them or doing something crazy. I am going to my lawyer tomorrow. I will just come clean about my past as well. Does anyone have some insight of where things may go from here?

vicki595 · Answer

Hi there- Your lawyer will advise you about the children and, I agree, it's not a good situation for them...

You need to protect them and living in a house where cocaine is present and used is considered Child Endangerment. She could get in a lot of trouble if the authorities found out.  Try talking with her to appeal to her good sense.

In the meantime, I wouldn't move out until the children were in a safe situation...

OpenMind24hours · Answer

I've been through a divorce with young kids. I was 4 years clean at the time. I thanked God my thinking wasn't scattered and cloudy with drugs and alcohol at that time in my life. The one thing that should always be the most important thing for you to remember: put your own recovery first. Don't use no matter what. Everything will fall as it will, but if you don't use and learn to accept life on life's terms you'll get through this in the best shape possible. Get into aftercare. Get a sheet signed at the meeting. If need be, it will show all concerned how determined you are to protect your kids from the disfunction of drug addiction, and it will show you mean business with your sobriety. Stay clean for YOU and you alone, and your loved ones will always benefit.

Butterfly1503 · Answer

Bless your heart. You may have a past, but you made the choice to get clean!!!!! Also, the different men coming in and out is not good! You have to do what's best for your children!

funkystuff · Answer

that's the best thing you can do, tell your attorney everything, not only about you but make sure he understands what is going on in the home and what it's like in a house filled with coke heads.
  You've gotta get the kids outta there, especially if you have a daughter.