Better every day

[debsally]

We had a long talk last night and reallyhashed things out.  She is really glad that she gave me the pills and that I flushed them.  She said the tantrum was because she was high and the past two days she has done a lot of soul searching to figure out why she let all this happen in the first place.  She is sure she knows why and is working on it.  I am glad that she still trusts me enough to share her process with me.  She knows she has a good thing with me and if that helps her that is great.  The thing that may take her a lifetime to figure out is how to really do it only for herself and for God.  My belief is that she will get there in time.  She has already come so far.  I told her that I had kept in touch with all of you and that I was back on here for support and she was really happy about that.  She knows I am serious about taking care of myself.

We also had a long talk about the purple elephant syndrom and my unwillingness to not participate in it.  She understands and supports my need to seek help and support for myself and she is not going to use this as an excuse to not attend church or Bible study, which is huge!!!  It has become our network of support and friendship.  Some of our friends are in or have been in recovery.  Some of them have similar backgrounds as she does and they understand that she is struggling and healing from stuff.  So are they.  

So it is getting better every day.  I really appreciate your advice.  It really helps having you all to talk to know that you completely understand and so willing to extend that helping hand.

I remain hopeful.  I remember that I did not cause it, I cant control it and I cant cure it...someone here told me that and it changed my life.  I believe in God and my marriage and I believe in my partner.  I cant help it...I'm a believer.  I have seen too much good in her to give up just because of a slip up.

Thanks for listening and caring.

Much Love!!!

Debbie

[debsally]

Hey girl.  Thanks.  I work hard at keeping my eyes open and the communication line open.  The truth is...is that she could get any kind of drugs she wanted to at any time.  We both know that.  She does want to be well and whole.  It takes time and work...just like our relationship.

You are probably right.  There will probably be more incidences.  It cannot be easy as Addiction's goal is to steal, kill and destroy.  So I will remain diligent, loving and prayerful.  Keeps me on my toes.

I missed you!!!  So glad to hear from you, girl.  So glad you are still around and being REAL.  Always loved that about you!!!!

Kisses and love,

Debbie

[NautyOne]

Hi Deb !

I think its great that Sal is trying to work-out her feelings as to why she needs to escape with the Soma.  I have a feeling you will probably have more incidents in the future with Soma, unfortunately, but having you as her "rock" will keep her in check in the future.

Like you posted....."A slip is not a fall"  Expect that there may be more slips in the future.  God Bless you for giving your partner a comfortable, understanding, and safe place to land.

Your understanding is a Godsend to her and she knows it.  Just make sure she does not abuse it.  Addicts are the greatest manipulators so you need to keep your eyes open and behind your head.  

bless you both.

Luv,
Nauty............