How do I get through this?? I'm so hurt

[Sad_Woman]

I've had a beautiful dog named Cyrus for 12 years. Tonight we went out and he was outside and for whatever reason jumped the fence with his lead on. He hung himself. We came home to a nightmare come true. My dearest buddy is dead. I'm destroyed inside, I love that dog with all my heart and he's gone.

Every part of me wants to numb myself. I know I can't but God this pain is torture. 12 years together to end like this?? Life is cruel.

[laurel453]

for sure it is hard..... the place sounds like a great place to rest full of good memories, Sad ... how are you doing ?

[Sad_Woman]

I'm really trying to avoid thinking about it but it's really hard. We are having him cremated and will spread his ashes at our old farmhouse where he (and I) were happiest.

[laurel453]

yes it is awful... but don't fill now with bad feelings, please.. i mean, your neighbours could have had a look, sure, they were careless but not intentionally, ... what is done, is done... maybe you and your family could have a sort of goodbye ceremony, irish style... remembering Cyrus and all the good things and memories you have of him, he had a long life full of love and lying some flowers at your backyard would give you maybe some peace of mind now,.... the sooner you go there , the better... it was the place where he died but also a place where he spent many good times.....give yourself the chance of giving him a  farewell and then grieve him but don't beat yourself about the circunstances, this will only hurt you more and you are hurting enough... Sad....

[Sad_Woman]

Thank you for checking in on me. I am being tested big time but I'm hanging in there. I don't feel like using but I just wish the shitstorm would stop. I took my little girl to school today and saw 2 neighbors of mine. I don't really talk much to anyone around here but I told them about Cyrus. Well I wish I just would have not said anything. They proceeded to tell me they had heard yelping coming from my yard Sunday night but thought it was the neighbors puppy. They also said it went on for 10 minutes and sounded like the dog was being tortured. I fell apart. I had held onto the hope that he hadn't suffered. Now I find this out. And I'm thinking if it sounded like a dog was being "tortured" why the heck wouldnt you go look???? God I really don't know how much more I can take. I want to move from here ASAP. I can't even go in my backyard anymore it's too painful. I feel like this is a nightmare I just can't wake up from. I know he's at peace now but thinking of him suffering is really too much, I'm staying strong but feeling my heart being ripped out. I really could have gone without knowing what I know now. It's awful.

[dominosarah]

All our babies are with Cyrus, showing him the ropes at the Rainbow Bridge.  I am sure my girl has already shown him how to roll on worms!!!  That was her favorite thing to do!!!       sara

[ang_811]

wanted to let ya know that im sending a ton of positive vibes ur way today...my thoughts r with u....Ang

[laurel453]

This is so sad, i am so sorry....RIP Cyrus...

[ANewLife4Me]

My 8 1/2 year old black lab, Chopper, was put to sleep back in May and he has joined Cyrus, Sara's girl, Ang's lab, Lesa's dog.  I'm so sorry StrongWoman (that's what I am calling you now as you know).  It hurts, this is life, this is the life we didn't deal with when we took pills.  Let yourself hurt, grieve.  I'm so sorry for this loss.

[dominosarah]

Thinking of you today~~sara

[vicki595]

Hey!  Did you sleep?

I'll tell you what I did: When I lost 4 of those dogs it was over a 3 month period and ALL for different reasons. It was really hard and I don't have to tell you that I felt punished...I ended up with just my one dog, little "Smokey". He was so lonley!  A month later I bought a chocolate lab who was so tiny and new I had to rock her all day and night!!  They're sitting here now, in the "big chair", and I let them!!  

It gets better Sweetie-

[Sad_Woman]

Thank you so so much. I am picturing him roaming and playing freely and happily with all our best buddies. The way he was.

There are so many memories, he was an amazing dog, a big beautiful blue eyed dog with a heart of gold. I'm gonna miss my Cy-guy. That's what his nickname was. Rest in peace Cyrus, I love you forever. Thank you to everyone who replied. I don't feel so alone and really appreciate the prayers and healing energy. I'm trying to sleep but it's hard.

[vicki595]

This is the saddest part about being a pet owner...

I love what Sara said about Rainbow Bridge: that's where the whole gang is now!  Adding to the above, there's my group:  Matthew,Molly,Mole',Chief,Comet,and Zephyr. Cyrus is in great company,believe me!

It gets easier but we don't forget...

Try to sleep tonight...I feel so sad for you...just crawl into bed and cry. You have to.             Big hug!  Vicki

[donewitis]

Oh my...
I can't imagine coming home to that...so sorry that this happened to Cyrus, to you and your family. I imagine it was quick and that he didn't suffer. I am a major animal lover..dogs, cats..wildlife..all of them. In time you will replace this visual memory with the previous 12 years...the good stuff. I had to put my dog to sleep..he was with me for 18 yrs..my shadow. I don't think of that time in the Vets..so many memories to treasure. I'm sorry, this is a sad time..no doubt..so you will grieve ..feel the feelings..and thank Cyrus for the time he was with you.

[Innerstrength67]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your family member Cyrus. I have had pets all my life and they are truly our family. The pain is unbearable. Feel it and cry hysterically. Try and take deep breaths and know he wouldn't want you to beat yourself up...
Sending you healing energy.

[dominosarah]

Let your tears fall my friend~~~My girl is taking care of Cyrus along with Bonnie(10356 girl) and ang's lab.  They are all playing at the Rainbow Bridge now.  Try and close your eyes tonight.  We are all right beside you in spirit~~sara

[littlebit667]

I am so very sorry for the tragic loss.  No words can convey the sadness and griefI know you are feeling.

[sandstone27]

I am so sorry this happened.  Losing a pet is a painful thing.  Their love for you and yours for them is unconditional.  It is what makes it so hard when we lose them.  

Know that he is at peace - sometimes that is the only thing that gets you though a tragedy like this.  I absolutely believe that Cyrus is in Heaven and has alot of four legged pals already.  

S.

[Sad_Woman]

Thank you for the support. I really need it right now. I don't want to go to sleep tonight, afraid of the dreams I'll have. This will be a day I'll never forget, a horrible place in time I wish so bad I could change. We were gone just a couple hours..and now he's gone. I can't believe this. It's really a nightmare. Just so awful to try and process it.

[gnarly_1]

I have lost 2 dogs over the last `13 yrs both killed by cars to me it like loosing a child it so so hard I really feel for you its ok to cry and grive let it out it when we bottle it up it gets to you im sorry for your lose hang inther it like loosingg you best friend God bless......Gnarly

[Sad_Woman]

I can't stop crying. I still can't understand how it happened. This is a very high fence but somehow it did and I feel awful. It feels unreal like a bad dream. I know it's real though and this will haunt me forever. Im praying he didn't suffer. This hurts worst of all wondering but not knowing.

Your right Sara, he wouldn't want me to mess this up. I'm not going to but this pain is intense. I'm so sorry about your girl, losing a close companion in this way is so hard to deal with. It doesn't feel real- yet it does. God please help me through this.

[satiniair206]

So sorry for your loss. My family was a big pet family so I know how you feel.
I had a couple of similar stories and it is hard as hell right now, but time will lesson the pain I promise.
Just try to think of all the good times you had with him.
God bless!

[ang_811]

so sorry this happened to ya. I just had to say goodbye to my lab who i had for 17 years last month, along with 3 friends also last month. Grieving is the hardest thing i think ive been thru. But im getting thru it one day at a time. Reaching out and talking as much as i can. Bn around support and friends who hold me up when i feel like im gonna fall. Keep busy, busy, and more busy. No matter how much u want to dig a hole and crawl in it DONT. U will get thru this clean n sober. Like sara said cry...Hugs to ya and keep ur head up...ang

[10356]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dear Cyrus. I too lost my lil ole lady this year it is very difficult but as Sara said honor Cyrus by grieving clean for these are your true emotions. warm hugs. lesa

[dominosarah]

I am so very sorry for your loss.  Losing a pet is very hard as they are family.  We honor them and ourselves by staying clean and feeling our emotions.  I know this hurts as i lost my girl in January and i too was devastated.  Letting myself grieve was the best thing for me as today i can remember her and smile now.  Let yourself cry, it's okay.  Hugs to you~~sara