Avatar universal


It’s been a while since I have been on the Forum.  I do check in every now and then, usually about once a month to check up on the friends I have established and check my inbox.

MedHelp name is JosephTyler. He and I have been writing each other since May 09.  He did not post much on the forum but kept in contact with me via pm’s.  We checked in with each other about once a month.  Giving support in our ups and downs, victories and losses.  

I will share only a little about him.  He was a private person and I do not want to disrespect in any way.  He was young, late 20s, and successful.  He had a music career.  Financially stable and successful because of his musical talent.  A girlfriend whom he loved very much and who gave him as much support as one can.  

And he was an addict.

He was addicted to oxycontin.  All prescribed due to a car accident.  He got clean, he relapsed.  He went to rehab. He relapsed.  But he always fought.  Always ready to start withdrawal; see a therapist; get to a meeting.  He was smart and had an honest and eager mind when it came to recovery.  He was open to suggestions.  He was positive and happy and miserable and guilty.  He hated being an addict.

The last time we spoke was in April 2010.  He had just gotten out of rehab.  He had the usual malaise and was feeling depressed.  But proud and hopeful and determined “not become a statistic.”

Yesterday I checked in and was happy to see one new message in my inbox from JosephTyler.  

3 months ago JosephTyler relapsed in his normal fashion.  

One night he took 6 oxycontin and 2 ambien.  He went to sleep for the last time.

His girlfriend sent me the message.  She had been on his computer and found this site a few days ago.  She found his login.  She wanted to say how appreciative she was to me and to this forum and the friends he made here.  She prays for us all.  She did not know he was using an online support group-- and was amazed to see all his positive and heartfelt messages to me and others on the forum.  I’m sure she spent hours reading through all of his posts and emails and I cannot imagine how difficult and painful that must have been for her, to read his words, and know how hard he tried and how badly he wanted it.

I needed to share this. I know its long and I hope at least some people read it all.  I edited it down a lot, but kept in what I felt was right.  I just wanted to acknowledge and honor this fellow fighter, whom we all have much in common with.  

I hope everyone realizes how serious addiction is.  Most people do not expect to die from this.  I’m sure never in his wildest dreams did he expect not wake up that day.  Life is so precious.  And so fragile.   To everyone here, please know how special you are.

Accidents do happen and there is a fine line between life and death when you’re an addict.
Seek help.  Keep fighting.  Stay clean.

With much love and great sadness-
15 Responses
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1135275 tn?1586565652
thats really sad. and it could happen to any one of us. whats scary is i'm sure its the same mix of meds he had taken many times before.

anyway, thanks for sharing.
Helpful - 0
230262 tn?1316645934
I do remember him. How very tragic! I am so sorry for your loss to all who knew him.
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1374653 tn?1289239473
RIP.....thanks for sharing, there are several of us who need this dose of reality.
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199177 tn?1490498534
I am so sorry to hear this. I think we all some how feel invincible and we are not I am saying a prayer to his whole family
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707563 tn?1626361905
I am so very sorry about the loss of another member, JosephTyler.  My thoughts and prayers go out to his loved ones, both here and his friends and family.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think I needed to read this today.  I tried to put my loved ones in the position of his girlfriend, finding and reading my posts but especially my journals and pm's to many of the great folks here.

I have become very close with a handful of people here and we have literally poured our hearts out to each other.  I cannot fathom my family reading some of these messages to know where I was, where I have been and where I am now.  I've written some dark stuff in some hidden journals that I refer to sometimes for strength and it pains me to know my family would see these if I didn't wake up.

I will stay clean today and fight for another tomorrow.  Thanks for the heart-wrencher.  As painful as it is for you, know that some good has come of it.

Thank-you again,

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you guys - all of you - for all your kindness.  
I truly hope that many read this and understand that there is such a small thin line between sobriety, relapse and untimely death.  XOXOX
Helpful - 0
1383825 tn?1315232262
Its so sad. I am so sorry. The legacy of JosephTyler is not one of having a dog in the fight, it's one of having fight in the dog. He went down fighting. He was full of fight. God bless his dear soul and his dear girlfriend.  And bless you for sharing, RB. ~Lindsay
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am sorry to hear this RB. My thoughts are with his family. This is a reminder how bad addiction really is.

I miss you old friend. Take care of yourself ok.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
RB~   This horribly sad. I can almost "see" his girl pouring over all of the posts and messages he wrote.  Just heartbreaking.  This could have been any one of us at one time,I'm sure.  That's why I chose to get away from the pills...I knew they'd kill me;they were trying very hard...Bless us all!

You take care...love to his family~
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617347 tn?1331293081
Oh, res, i am so so sorry....such a young man  and fighting like us , he is one of us !!there are not words ... sorry, dear res.

my condolences to her girlfriend, hope she will find some peace with time

and rest in peace JosephTyler !!!
Helpful - 0
725350 tn?1318680468
I know the pain of losing those close to us all too well. Its just like it says in the big book, "it is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker that he may one day control and enjoy his drinking, many pursue this illusion through the gates of insanity and even death."

Such a painful reminder that the disease I have is fatal if not forced into remission through recovery.
Helpful - 0
1253584 tn?1332877954
This is so sad! I'm so sorry. I couldn't have read this at a better time after my relapse 2 days ago. This makes me so determined to not ever go back there to using pills. ..once again I'm so sorry for ur loss. My heart goes out to u.
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495284 tn?1333894042
I am so sorry to hear about his passing.  This is the cold hard facts of this addiction.  Let yourself feel the grief and sadness.  I so understand what you are feeling right now as i lost a friend on here a couple months ago to his addiction also.  It is gutwrenching painful and hurts right to the core.  You know he wants you to continue in your recovery.  I will be thinking of you during this time~~~~~sara
Helpful - 0
1412212 tn?1285599428
Thank you for sharing this with us. This just makes me more determined not to go back to my pills. I have had in the past a dear friend of mine do the same thing on Christmas day he never woke up. I pray every day for strength to get through this and hope not to relapse for I need another surgery. I am terrified of that day! That's what got me on these stupid pills in the first place by a very bad accident and all the surgeries I have had to endure through it.
May he rest in peace!
Helpful - 0
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