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186166 tn?1385259382

NEWFLASH!!!!!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well Bonne chance, mezamies
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.




5 Responses
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611067 tn?1458591483
Lizzy - well said!!!!!  
Helpful - 0
306455 tn?1288862071
Oh if it were only that simple. I agree with Mary though. But it is definitely time to turn our focus to the people and problems of this country. When we're fixed, then we'll help others as long as it doesn't take away from the people here.
Helpful - 0
606696 tn?1268737468
Amen to everything you just said...I may have to print that
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Lizzie Lou as a write in for Pres, she has my vote
Helpful - 0
306867 tn?1299249709
I do agree with the basic point of this .......it's time to take care of America !
I think NAFTA needs a lot of work, it needs to become fair trade.  China pretty much owns us so I would play nice until we can work our way out of that.
I was totally against the Iraq war and it is now a proven fact that they had nothing to do with 9/11. So, I don't much blame countries for not getting involved in a bogus war of ours.  These countries pleaded with us to give the UN inspection teams more time and we just couldn't wait.
I think we can go ahead and drill, but need a plan to get us off oil and put some focus on global warming.
I love the part about securing out borders and taking care of American's first !
Helpful - 0
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