relapse

[igottheblues]

I was 2 weeks clean!!!!! I made it 2 freaking weeks! I have no idea why I did it, but I messed up.  I just feel so terrible and guilty about this and haven't told a single person.  I just wanted to get this off my chest.

[steven1959]

Pretty simple really, Were addicts, using drugs comes naturally yo us. You came back & posted. I think that means you still want to be clean. I can't count the times I relapsed on drugs. Today is day 10 for me.Im hitting meetings like crazy, and when the craving gets too powerful I jump on my bike and pedal my tail off.people here suggested it and it helps get out of the moment.No major changes, just your whole life.be selfish and talk about yourself all you need. our experiences get &  keep each other sober.His will not mine.

[Jimmy1975]

Don't be so hard on yourself it has happened to almost all of us . This is my second go around with this problem and God willing the last !  Pick yourself up , get rid of the pills and when the cravings hit go for a walk or anything to keep busy . MOVE around . Good luck .    Jimmy

[leeisgettingclean]

just keep moving foward. I am not sure if this will set you back physically, maybe someone can answer that, if you will w/d again? I know i relapsed after 10 days, however mine was for about two weeks and yeah i had to w/d again, not as bad, but not to fun, so i would like tohear if a one day relapse brings phsicall w/ds, i would say it gonna make tha mentall part worse for a few day i think.

[TakingAction]

It happens, but you still are doing really well.  Let it go.

Today is a new day.

I gotta feelin that tonights gonna be a good night**

matt

[Reality_Check]

and by the way go PATRIOTS/SOX BABY!

[Reality_Check]

I dont think there is one person here who quit with failure or close to anyway. I know I did, I am on day 2, headed for 3 with any luck and true grit. This forum is a life saver for me, and ALL OTHERS LIKE US. Its ok! Start over now!

[CATUF]

i needed every relapse I had in order to get into recovery.  every single one.

my last relapse was bar far the worst, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

i got clean more times than i can remember, but i could never STAY clean.  that last relapse beat me up so badly and caused me to lose so much, that i was finally brought to the point where i had to give up and admit that my addiction was simply beyond my control.  i had no more fight left and it was utterly hopeless, so i gave up.  

in my experience it's a question of "how low can you go?"  What's your bottom?  Some people, like me, have a pretty low bottom.  for whatever reason we are unable, or unwilling, to see the light until we've lost most everything and brought ourselves close to death.  There's a Psalm  I love (107) because it well describes me even though it was written some 3,000 years before I was born:

Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.

how are things different now than they were two years ago?  how do you think your addiction will be two years from now if you're still active?  what about two years after that? how will your active addiction finally end if you don't find recovery?

you might try NA or AA - there's a lot of wisdom and recovery-experience in the rooms.  be willing to give at least as much to your recovery as you gave to your addiction.  go to 90 meetings in 90 days.  keep an open mind and look for things you can identify with, not whatever differences there might be.  work on being honest, open and willing .  

don't fight your addiction, just surrender to recovery

CATUF
1556

you don't have to find out the answers to any of those questions.  but you will if you don't find recovery.  

[TakingAction]

I actually bought some pills today after almost two weeks.  I managed to flush them soon after before taking them.  I could have cried, and probably should.  

I think after the sickness of detoxing subsides, the desires seem to get really strong.  Do not beat yourself up.  I could have easily been you today.  One slip does not cancel out your success.  Two weeks is amazing.  

You got this, just forge ahead.  

Matt

[KiaKaha]

Oh hun! Don't beat yourself up! Leave it behind you and keep soldiering on! You've now had more clean days than not. Don't give it another day...stay clean. You'll love yourself for it.  Keep posting here...I'll look out for you! :o)

[corey411]

Hey, everyone is right. Pick yourself up and get back in recovery. You have learned something important. Even though we think we  will never use again we do. Just quitting is not enough. I kept trying that way and kept relapsing and not knowing how this could happen. Do things different this time. Get more support. Are you going to NA or counseling?  Pull out the big guns now so you don't repeat the same pattern. Good luck. Be good to yourself. Corey

[mjones5]

Ok, you messed up. Pick yourself up tomorrow is a new day. Dont beat yourself up it can happen to anyone. Its good that we have this place to come and share, ups and downs. Good luck to you in your journey and find some meetings to go to, it helps, getting clean is the easy part.

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Just JUMP BACK ON THE WAGON...

Not sure what you were using or for how long.. but I DO KNOW that
EVERYDAY THAT YOU DON'T USE IS A BETTER DAY THAN WHEN YA DO!

Hang in there sweetie and keep posting cuz we're ALL out here to help you in ANY way that we can...

It's just ONE DAY AT A TIME!