How to live with the pain

[StrugglingNurse]

I am new to this site and this is my first post.  I have degenerative disc disease and began taking lortab for my back pain over 2 years ago.  I am on day 3 of withdrawals, it hasn't been to bad.  I can handle the physical part of it.  My concern is how I am going to stay clean considering I live with back pain everyday.  I'm currently going through a divorce and my doctor wants to do surgery but that just isn't an option because I live alone and can't take time off of work.  Being a nurse I constantly have access to narcotics and am not the best at saying no.  I am tired of having to live my life around a pill.  I can't do it anymore.  I flushed the last of my pills on thursday and called in sick to work for the wholw weekend.  I don't feel to bad today, still having some stomach cramps and trouble being still at night but the hardest part for me is that I have no energy.  I know its different for everyone but when should I expect to see an increase in my energy lvl.  Also, I am bipolar buy have always managed it without mexs.  I don't really have manic episodes, should I consult a doctor about getting meds for it?  Is that likely to get worse?   Any help would be appreciated.

[CRSeaside]

Hi Struggling Nurse. You are amazing.   Just a short note regarding the diagnosis of Bipolar you mentioned.
  With the extra stress of your upcoming divorce, the bills you mentioned & your recent withdrawal, you should see a Psychiatrist.
   I have an on & off with opioids.  Also Bipolar.   Self medicating with opioids is common in Bipolar Disorder. There is something that opioids do that anti depression & antipsychotic medications do not handle in the same manner.
     Once off opioids for 3 weeks, it will be critical to after care to have a Pdoc know your symptoms. It's better to have this in place before you need it.
      I'm glad you have your wonderful son. We will be here for you. MedHelp also has a Relationship forum & Divorce support.   Pamela

[StrugglingNurse]

Well its going on day 7.  Feeling much better.  Still get a little dizzy when I get up sometimes.  My energy level was better today.  Having trouble sleeping but that is nothing new for me.  My son has kept me busy the past couple days so I haven't had any cravings.  Strange thing is my back hasnt really bothered be to much the past few days, I think it hurt worse when I was taking the pills.  Anyways,  just checking in.  Ttyl.

[StrugglingNurse]

Well its going on day 7.  Feeling much better.  Still get a little dizzy when I get up sometimes.  My energy level was better today.  Having trouble sleeping but that is nothing new for me.  My son has kept me busy the past couple days so I haven't had any cravings.  Strange thing is my back hasnt really bothered be to much the past few days, I think it hurt worse when I was taking the pills.  Anyways,  just checking in.  Ttyl.

[StrugglingNurse]

I'm a nurse so I always have access to pills.  I have had other addictions to other subs in the past and I beat them.  I can beat this. If I was able to be off work I would have the surgery but since I'm getting divorced and have so much debt I can't pay my bills if I don't work.  Yes a hot bath does help for some time, that has helped me through the physical part.  Thanks to all for your help.  I will be sticking around.

[ariley13]

Hi there! I totally can relate to your situation. I also have severe issues with my discs and nerve damage in my back. I have been told that surgery is not an option for me because of the location/extent of damage. I guess it's too risky. I can tell you that the longer you put between you and the pills, the less pain you will have. Opiate induced hyperalgesia causes us to have the sensation of increased pain while on opiates. Once you quit, the pain will increase for a short time. Everyone is different, but I saw a huge difference in my pain level after the first month. I still have pain daily, but it is better than when I was on opiates and I am finding new ways to cope with it. As far as the mental battle goes, this is the hardest part of addiction. You must cut out your sources to the pills whether it's through a doctor or a dealer, and you must seek some form of aftercare whether it be NA/AA meetings or counseling. I would definitely keep an eye on your bipolar symptoms. They may be exacerbated due to quitting. As I'm sure you know, self medicating and addiction are both very commonplace with  bipolar disorder. It might be a good idea to discuss all of this with your doctor. Let them know that you are an addict and have quit. Honesty is the best policy here and it will be the only way to prevent a relapse. Please stick around and keep posting. This is a wonderful community where you will find lots of support, encouragement, and advice. Good luck to you!

[Charetti]

I take epson salt baths, it seems to work wonders.  Not sure if its the salts or just sitting in a hot tub, but my pain is better than it has been in years.  I also take a anti-inflammatory.  Best of luck!!!

[IBKleen]

Glad you are feeling better. Do you still have access to any pills? I ask because the mental part of all of this kicks in and pills start calling your name and lying to you telling you "Just take one". One leads to one hundred and one hundred leads..well you know where. You still have a fight ahead of you honey. Remove all obstacles in your way so you don't trip over them.

[StrugglingNurse]

Well its day 4.  I woke up feeling much better today, lets hope it stays that way.    I just feel very weak and I get dizzy if I'm on my feet for to long.  Yes I was getting scripts from my doctor but we all know how tolerance builds.  I was taking a mixture of morphine and lortab or percocet at about 100 to 150 mgs a day. I feel like the worst of the physical part is behind me.   Last night I had to take 20 mg of flexeril and 1 mg of klonopin just to be able to lay still so I could sleep.  Why is that so much worse at night?  Anyways I'm doing well and happy about it.

[tooter212]

Welcome to the form. Everyone on here is eager to help you. I agree with the other post, I'd get the surgery. . I'm sure your job will be waiting for you when you get back on your feet, if not you'll find another one. Life with a job and on the pills is no life anyway. With God's help and this site you can do it. God Bless you

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome to the community!

I am sorry you are suffering with pain. I also have DDD, arthritis, several herniated disks and sciatica. I am in pain more often than not.

Were you getting scripts from your doctor? If so, why don't you speak with him about alternative treatment? there is a lot you can do. Steroid shots, acupuncture, physical therapy just to name a few.

I always recommend to anyone in pain that is stopping the pills to get something else in place. Relapse is common in this scenario.

The other thing is that when we stop the pills we may have rebound pain. It will take a bit of time before you can actually gauge your pain level. Be patient with that.

Glad you found your way here and hope you stick around.

[ActingBrandNew]

I hear you on your situation and not being able to take off work however there has to be a way for you to be able to have the surgery. The fact that your even a candidate for surgery is a blessing. Many are told theres nothing that can be done and they will have to live with the pain. If theres a surgical option that can fix the pain....Id go for it. Id look into some hospice care or something. Get plugged into a church or something where someone will volunteer to help you during the recovery period. There are a lot of programs out there...I just feel that for you to even have that option is a blessing.

Pretty much all of us on this forum are dealing with chronic pain from something and have chosen to deal with the pain instead of the addiction. Its very possible but those pills are gonna tell you all kinds of things that will keep you hooked on them. Your just gonna have to make a choice. But just my 2 cents...Id be doing all I could to get the surgery if that means theres a possibility I can be pain free without pills.

Good luck

[VICourageous]

Hi & Welcome..You came to a very supportive site..We also have a Bipolar Community..There will be many who will chime in to talk about what they do for pain. I just wanted you to know that we are here and we can help walk with you during the detox and after. I wanted to share my own experience about the Nursing Field. I too was in this for over 28 years..I have used off and on for over 40years but could walk away..The last 12 got me hooked on the Methadone that I was snorting with Illegal Adderral for the big Buzz to go to work and work around my home all at the same time..hahha ANYWAY I am not longer able to do this becasue of the Meds..I was passing out Meds many times..The stress that come with this kind of work is too much for me now. I have almost 15months clean off of a c/t from 3 meds at once and I had to quit for my own Safety..I am NOT saying you will but I am sharing that this will be hard and you should get all the Support you can in many areas of your life right now. Make sure you are Drinking LOTS of water and get some Electrolyte and Protein Powder..Get some good ol natural Vit/Min to help replenish what we have lost during are using..Just stick around and ask anything at all..We have seen so much and WE ALL Care on here..I wish you the best and I will be following your success if you stick around..
Bless
PS..We have some really Smart Nurses on here too..Some you will know by there name and other you just have to ask..Ha!!! Good Luck to YOU!