30 days??? 1000 nights!!!

[Amaryllis1974]

OK. So I have hit the first major milestone, and I am feeling a bit indifferent about it. It seems like months since I kissed Lady Opiate farewell.
I have gotten 30 days many times over. I have managed to stay clean for a couple months before, but NEVER have I started recovering. NEVER have I worked on myself, or changed as much as I have THIS 30 days. I suppose I always filled myself up on other addictions to ease the discomfort of withdrawal...

This 30 days I am present. I sit through the most uncomfortable days, go to those meetings ESPECIALLY when I don't want to, and call women who know what the f*ck they are talking about. I work the steps HONESTLY even if I want to lie. I share in meetings if I am having a bad day, and I listen CLOSELY to what everyone else is sharing. This 30 days I am willing to do whatever it takes, even the stuff I dont wanna do. Though not all days are great, every day is a success.

We can NOT do it alone, folks. We CAN do it together. Get in some aftercare *cough* NA/AA *cough*

I was tired of being a thief, a liar, a junkie, and a spiritually dead human...
GRATEFUL today that I don't have to be that anymore...

30 days?? REALLY??? that's it????
(:
amy

[kr43]

I am very proud of you. You inspire me. I am only on day 4 going to a meeting a day and being honest. I feel the same way you do. Keep it up. God Bless You

[Dafishman]

Amy,


Congrats on 34 days!!! You are a miracle!!

Sounds like you have put together a plan for success.Sometimes we forget how important we are to God. He loves us so deeply he dosent control us but allows us to do our own will. When we come back from being spritually lost He is there with open arms just like any parent that has missed thier child.  

May all your dreams and aspirations come true for you.


Dafiashman

[moonshyne777]

I needed to read that today. Like you I was clean off these back in spring. But not being ok with just being me I looked for relief. Pot, a few beers and in the end I fell back in. I have been going back and forth on going to an NA meeting and reading your post, I realize what I already knew to be true. That trying to do this alone will not work. I need support from ppl who know what its like. I need strength everyday to get through this. I am damn strong but how I even got this far alone I don<t know because as strong as I am..I know I have a helluva weak spot that I found with painkillers. I never want to go through the hell of wds again. I have to go forward and resist the urge to go back to that familiar "comforting" but dark place. And I know I'll need help to keep going. I'm only human afterall. I am so glad you posted this and thank you for the inspiration. I guess you get what you put into it and I am not going to do all this for nothing! I<m going to truly do what I need to do to break the cycle. God bless you!!

[gnarly_1]

hey Amy congrds on 30 days its cool you learned the difference between quiting and recovery...recovery takes work you have to put some effort forward to reep the harvest....
sobriety..I have watched your posts throughout your recovery and your doing great
your attitude has been inspirational even when you dont feel like it..you will succeed this time around...I  got 104 hard earned days now but it is so so worth it keep up the good work and keep posting your inspirational to me...good luck and God bless...Gnarly          

[beagles4u]

What a GREAT story. I just woke up after an up & down all night, barely any sleep, but it is day 10 YEAH no Norco's.  Your story is very inspirational and also a true testimony that some sort of aftercare is needed, so thank you for sharing.

[dominosarah]

Way to go on 30 days!!!  Life is just beginning for you so embrace it as the rewards will be many~~~~~~~sara

[LivingPresent]

Congratulations on hitting this milestone Amy. You are truly on your way to a new life, but this is only the beginning. Just wake up, ask your higher power to keep you clean, do the things in front of you to do, and leave the results alone, one day at a time. Already things aren't as chaotic as they were for you just a few weeks ago, the waves are laying down a bit. I think that's where the indifferent feeling comes from, because we are so used to thriving on chaos, and now we are learning to match calamity with serenity. Keep doing the work and before you know it serenity will become just as comfortable. Good job, AmyAmy.
-Captain

[Charetti]

Keep it up, I am on your tail. You give me inspiration!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Awsome job!! And congrats to you, keep up the great work

[CATUF]

great post, amy!

CATUF
1699

[pharma9]

Wow...what an inspiration you are to all.With an attitude like that you are good to go.I remember some of your earliest posts and they are like night and day...I can't believe that 30 days has gone by already.