relapsed and ashamed

[kris123]

i am not quite sure how to even put what i did into words.  after so long i chose to relapsed and do coke.  I am so disappointed in myself and ashamed.  How do i put myself back together.  I remember the pain and hurt that came with the come down but was not prepared for just how much it hurt.  It was so intense that I think death would have been better.  Where do i go from here.  I am lost and confused and sad.  How do i recover

[CadillacJack]

Quit crying around. You did something you shouldn't have done. Let this be a lesson to you. Everybody does such things, at some point. Or at least most. Shake it off. There is no reason to go off the deep end over this. Quit sweating the small stuff. Put it behind you, and remember, it's not for you. It makes you feel badly, not good. Go on with your clean life. This is no more than a bump in your road. It's done, forget about it. Just don't do it again, as you certainly know better now.

cj

[J_friend]

Kris - if you relapsed and sold the house, car, gave the kids up, and dedicated your life to coke ... then, that is HUGE.  However, if you had a simple relapse/slip of using again, you may want to go easy on yourself.  A sign of recovery is not only how long people don't "use", but in addition, how quick they can get back up after a relapse.  I truly think you should "go easy" on yourself ... that may allow you to be centered enough to understand WHY you relapsed in the first place, ya know?  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders ... remember, this isn't a competition to see how long you don't use.  Instead, it's about connecting with yourself and becoming whole.  All my best, Kris.  :)

[gizzy32]

kris you used one day, one day in 2 years and although you have NO excuse, i did the same thing as you know. i used for one night in 6 months and it was so painful. you have come along way in those 2 years and are taking care of yourself now and your children. you are a better person because of it. you did the right thing by getting rid of a lot of it so you would not go on for days and i know how hard that was for you. if you continue to let the guilt bring you down, it will take you down. it's not like you are on here every week saying you have relapsed. you are clean 2 years, don't forget that. what you did was not ok, but lets see how strong you really are now and pick yourself back up and move on.

[worried878]

The fact that u r on here and worried about picking urself up means alot i think.....how did u quit before?  pick urself up, brush off your jeans and get clean again....relapse is part of it for most i think....it does not mean u r destined to be a coke head for the rest of ur life....u have control over that...keep posting

[kris123]

how to i pick myself up and go on :(