Aftercare??

[Cheekymouse]

What is aftercare? I have read lots of responses , I posted but it seems as tho most people have strength ... I find it impossible to be strong if my partner isn't ...

[papachubby]

I went to aftercare after going to rehab both times. It was a meeting once a week with all alumni from the rehab program and the same counselors that ran the rehab. AA or NA came be aftercare as well, but its all up to you to get yourself to go. You have to shop around to find a meeting place that your comfortable with. They are not all the same. Some are large and have one main speaker, and some are small and more like a process group. Just find one that you like and youll be more likely to become a regular. Make some new friends and possibly a sponsor if your looking for that.

[snakejones]

Hi there--why does NA or AA scare you? They won't bite--much.  ;-)  Try them first, at least four meetings, then make a final judgment. Private counseling might appeal to you more since it's not telling the world about your "dirty laundry".
Your partner needs to respect you enough to at least not use in your presence or leave drugs or paraphernalia around. Are you willing to stay with him even if he never cleans up? There's a Bible verse somewhere that compares a marriage/partnership to two oxen yoked together. If one pulls one way and the other the other way, neither of you will get anywhere. And in your case, if your partner continues using, you could be sucked back into that whirlpool if you have a crisis and weaken and use because he had some right there. In a perfect world, you would have separate lodgings for awhile so you could get stronger without being tempted. But I know the real world isn't like that, so you'll have to decide what's best for you and give it your best shot.
I am so happy for you and your decision to remain clean even when you are tempted. Hang in there and rely on everyone here for support--they've probably seen it all!

[littlebit667]

What scares you about NA?  I know it is hard to walk into a room full of strangers..funny, tho before long they are not strangers..but friends.  In many way like here.  I hope you find something the works for you.

[Cheekymouse]

You thoughtful & honest people are so in tune ... Thx I am learning why I have been wanting to escape ... I have been doing it a long time but it wAs in my early 30's that I turned to substances .. Thx to all @eyeofhorus2010 that's where I am at but my partner still wants to escape so not only am I battling for me but for himm too .. Really blows but I shld try an NA thingy but they frighten me .. Thx again

[dominosarah]

You are exactly right.  You can run but you cant hide~~

[eyeofhorus2010]

Isn't changing what you do first driven by what you think? I can change my entire routine but until I learn to "think" about my rage issues and how to deal with those using my mental fortitude instead of reaching for drugs then my recovery will ony last as long as abstinence can take me.
I mean I could physically isolate myself from being anywhere near drugs for two months or two years,whatever, but have I truly recovered?

[ricart70]

Alot of people say you have to change the very way you think.To me it is alot easier to change what you do and don't do.The thinking changes as the behavior changes.Motivation for me is always followed by action.

[eyeofhorus2010]

It's not that some are a little stronger than others, it's just that some finally reach a point that they're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Eventually, no matter how many pills you can get your hands on, you're going to always feel tired, detached and depressed.
I fed my addiction for 9 years with only a few half hearted attempts to quit thinking that I just wasn't strong enough or that maybe I was too far gone  to ever quit.
So far I have quit. It's been 348 days and the thing for me was I was tired of the game, you know, the lying, pill counting, losing focus on everything else in your world until you were able to secure more pills. It had finally reached a point that the thought of needing or having to take pills made me sick to my stomache, still does somewhat.

Aftercare is the constant affirmation that you are heading in the right direction, to help you understand why you use in the first place and to give you something strong to lean on when you don't feel strong yourself.

No one gets through this easy. Sometimes it just seems that way. Like Gnarly says " you've got to change the very way you think" and when you look inside yourself and find the real meaning of that, well then, this will seems to get a little easier for you too. Strength comes from within, look for it and you'll find that you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Best wishes and keep staying clean "just for today".

[Innerstrength67]

Cheeky, everyone deals with this in their own way. Some are stronger than others but that's just life. You have to find what works for you. I agree with everything littlebit said.
Hang in there!

[littlebit667]

Aftercare is going to NA or AA or some type of therapy to continue to stay clean.  Some go to a private therapist or counselor.  Others find group support helps.