Back and learned a lot

[glamisgirl]

Hi All,
I haven't been on here for awhile and the honest reason is because I relapsed. Well here I am again and I'm on day 16 clean. I am past all the worst of the yucky withdrawal and can function now. So much has happened and this C/T was totally different and so much harder then in the past. I really do think it gets harder each time you put your body through that. My husband put me on blast about my addiction and basically told my family and all my friends. I was so so angry and embarrassed. Now I see it's exactly what I needed to get to the point to actually want to stop. My husband and my family have been very supportive. I do get the feeling like everyone is walking on egg shells around me and watching every move I make and that is very uncomfortable but I'm trying to not let it get to me and just focus on myself and what I need to do to stay clean. What everyone says about getting clean... its easy to get clean, staying clean is the hard part is so very true. I'm right around the time frame where I always relapse. Not this time I'm gonna do it right. I really want to get into a NA meeting cause I know this is an important step and one that must not be skipped. I tried to attend one last week but when I went to the location there was no one there. How does everyone else find meetings? I just looked them up on line but there are addresses and times but no numbers to confirm it. And how does it work? do you just walk in? You don't have to sign up? Just show up? I'm very nervous about the hole meeting thing but also really want to stay clean this time, plus I know it will be good for me to have interaction with other people that understand what I'm going through. No matter how supportive my family is they don't understand what I'm going through know matter how I explain it. So any info on NA meetings would be greatly appreciated!

[clean_in_ks]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!  20 DAYS!  You're almost at 3 weeks...once I got past the first 10 days or so...the 2 wk and 3 wk milestones made me really happy!  You're doin it....so happy for ya!

And really glad you took the time to go to that website.  I continue to go back to it over and over.....cause my memory ain't so good  LOL

[glamisgirl]

clean_in_ks,
Thank you for that link. It worked and I'm reading so much on there. I will be letting my family know about it and maybe they will take the time out and read through it as well. I think it would be good for them, especially my husband.
Thanks again!
And yes this is the longest I've ever gone. Day 20 and feels better then day 19.

[clean_in_ks]

Here's the the internet address I was trying to give you:  (let's see if this works):

http://www.hbo.com/addiction/

[ariley13]

I just wanted to congratulate you on your 19 days. Great job! It sounds like things are really different this time around. You have changed the things that weren't working in the past. Telling your secret, and seeking aftercare are huge. Keep up the positive attitude, and all of the hard work, and you will make it far! I wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery.

[clean_in_ks]

You are doing GREATTTTT!!!  19 DAYS woohoo!!  You said this is the longest you have ever made it, right?  Your 30 day milestone is "within view" now.....I did better if I set small goals....like 30, 60 and 90 days.  I was always able to re-evaluate at my next goal post.  Recovery and healing come in "waves"....you know....some days you really, really feel better....and then another one comes along that feels like 2 steps back.
Just let that reassure you.....each day is a new beginning.  No two days are identical.  Your secret has been shared.  I know it upset you...but now you have there support and can't use behind your secret. Good for YOU!!

NA meetings in my area are not nearly as abundant as AA meetings.  I also just showed up at a meeting this past Friday night that "was no longer there"..haha....but I found another one.  Once you actually go to one, the "fear of the unknown" won't exist any longer.  Having other people that truly understand me is a huge blessing.  If your hubby or your family are interested in learning about addiction, they can go to hbo *******/addiction and click on many, many great articles and videos that explain how our brains are different from the non-addict.  I found it helpful, moving and even cried while watching some of the short video clips.  Just an idea...cause it blessed me for sure.

Keep on keepin on.....and good on ya, again for 19 BIG ONES!!!

[glamisgirl]

Thank you, On day 19 today! excited about that but I have noticed around day 10 I seemed to get energy back and now these last few days no energy again feels like I did on day 5. I'm guessing it goes like that and I will just continue to stick with it and know that one of these days things will finally go back to normal.
Thank you for the info on meetings. I will be going to one this week and just see how it goes. I think it's just the unknown that makes me nervous but like you said Robert bring your body and the mind will follow. Thank you for that good advice, makes sense to me. That's what I'm praying for . I can't believe today is day 19 for me, I've never gotten this far and I'm gonna be really careful with my clean time this time. This is also the first time I've quit because I've wanted to in the past it's always been because I ran out early so I'm handling everything totally different this time.

[OpenMind24hours]

I go to about 6 NA meetings a week. Dan gave you some good info. Just walk in and have a seat, everything will make sense to you as it happens. Bring your body and your mind will follow. Be sure to get a meeting list at your first meeting. They're free and will have all the meetings in your area listed. They also usually have a place for phone numbers. Get phone numbers from female members (I see you're female) and you will have a good support foundation immediately. Don't use, CALL!! If you call your chance of actually using dwindles rapidly. Go to as many meetings as you can. I go because my own thinking won't fix my own thinking. My own thinking got me addicted in the first place. So I listen to other peeps. I wish you the best. Congratulations on making the decision to get clean, and to start up aftercare. It the best decision you could have ever made! -Robert

[limodan73]

Hi! Welcome Back. Great you overcame the beast and now doing it right. That's AWESOME!  I think I may even remember ya, at least the call name sounds familiar. Anyways, the meetings can be a little spotty online sometimes. I would suggest you maybe call one of the larger meetings, they usually have a number listed with them. They will be able to guide you as far as Times and local.  Yes,  Just go in and sit down. Go from there. the good meetings won't pressure you to say a word if you Don't want to. And finding a group we're you "fit in" and feel comfortable is very critical. Don't just go to one. Go to many. Hope I helped.
Dan